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The Last of The Homo Sapiens Part 2



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Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:05 am
driver8 says...



The second part to the story about the last human in the evolved human world. The conclusion is in the process of being written. The beginning of the story is posted as well, so that those who did not read the first part that I already posted will know what is going on.
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The Last of Homo Sapiens

He woke up to the same sounds he woke up to everyday. Some loud and emotional voice kept screaming into his ear, "Mommy, mommy, look, a human!!" Concerned mother, trying to whisper, but also shrill and uncomfortable, stated, "Shush dear, the human is sleeping! You might wake him up!" He turned over and opened his eyes. His cage was made of glasslike material, far stronger than steel, yet clear and thin. It surrounded him like a bubble, or a dome, with small house inside. The only door leading out of his prison was locked with keyless lock, only the voice of one of his caretakers could open it. He was surrounded by life, staring them right in the face, and they knew it and stared at him with curiosity and fear. "Please step aside, feeders are coming through!" The same voice penetrated his ear with the force of an atom bomb, every day, the same, the same. He sighed and lifted his frame out of bed. The sun shone with its glorious power, its heat reaching him through greenhouse roof. It was around 10 in the morning.

The evolution of humanity happened unexpectedly. Over time, humans have lost their past shape, became rounder, bigger, with shrill, and disturbing voices. The first signs were noticed in 2080, when Chinese baby was born with altered vocal cords, that made the baby cry louder than any other ever. The baby survived, and mated with one Hu Tzao, producing Lu Tho, who also had the voice anomaly. As the generations progressed, the changes grew more noticeable. The limbs became misshapen, strange anomalies like antennae, erupted at random, and by the 23rd century, the new humans, caused by the unrestrained reproductive rates that were the hallmark of the Tzao family, outnumbered the Homo Sapiens. The new humans were named Homo Casus, seemingly to reflect the terrible genetic idiocy wreaked by nature upon them. Their brains however, were the most intriguing part of the new human. The brain evolved a new abilities, something that Homo Sapiens could only dream of, such as telepathy. The antennae gave new humans the ability to sense disturbances hundreds of miles away. The best known case of such sense was when H. Casus Jonhy Sheppard predicted the destructive hurricane Geoff, which nearly washed away all of Miami. Hours before the strike, he escaped to Iowa, where he sat out the storm, while thousands of Homo Sapiens were virtually wiped out by the horror of Geoff. Ever since that time, efforts were make to curb the evolution. The new humans were placed under martial law, any of them could be shot on sight, the season was opened on the evolved, but the new humans managed to survive, and even thrive under pressure, and by 25th century, just 400 years after the first reported case of the evolution, the species Sapiens were facing the brink of extinction. The new humanity, quickly took over the infrastructure, and began to make it better than before. New materials were researched, new ideas were thrown into the melting pot that was science, and as Homo Sapiens dwindled, the Homo Casus took over. By 26th century, there were no humans left, except for one.

He was 20 years old, blonde, and thin. His eyes were always frightened, looking for danger. He scanned his cage, looked at the handlers opening the door, and dropping the food near it. Then the door closed with metallic clang, and the last of the Homo Sapiens was left alone. He came up to the food, and quietly ate it. He did not feel like struggling anymore, and throw himself against the wall trying to escape. He had lost his hope of escape, a couple of days ago, and now he just felt resigned. His cage contained exact replica of human home, a two story cottage, with wide bedroom, and bathrooms, and living room. His captors were not cruel, they did not wish to hurt or humiliate him, all they wanted was to keep him alive for as long as possible, as he drew heavy crowds of H. Casus, who all wished to see the last human.

After his breakfast he stretched out, and attempted to fall asleep, despite the great noise from the zoo goers who crowded around his cage. This however, proved to be impossible, as he felt sick. His nose felt stuffed, and his throat felt dry and scratchy, and the sun shone into his eyes much to brightly to bear. He got up and walked to one side of the cage, to the great happiness of his observers. He read a plaque, fastened to one side of his bubble cage, “Name: Joe. Specie: Homo Sapiens. Warning: Human contains within him a plague, dangerous substance to which we have never yet found a cure. This habitat contains a biological agent proof coating, and none of the plague can escape it. However, we can still exercise caution, and not come close to the cage, furthermore as it disturbs the specimen within. Thank you, the Management.” This plaque was new, Joe had not previously seen it. “I do not have the damn plague, “ he thought, “I just have a bit of cold, all I need is some rest!” The lunch time came right on time, with handlers, he noticed, wearing protective coverings, and much more jumpy than usual. Right at this moment, Joe developed a powerful impulse to sneeze.

As he opened his mouth, the handlers recoiled, and quailed before him. They desperately threw down the food, and ran, ran with as much haste as their bulbous and misshapen bodies could allow. By the time he actually ended the sneeze, the handlers were on the other side, running desperately to the decontamination room, praying to their Almighty, that the plague did not reach them, for the only thing that the new humans lost out on in their evolution was resistance to it. And lo!, in their great haste, the door to the prison remained unlocked, so scared were they of the disease that now swam around in the cage. Joe cautiously approached the door, and pushed it forward. It gave to his push, and the freedom, sweet freedom was upon him, as he took a step toward the welcoming sun, toward green blades of turf, toward freedom. Screams of terror erupted all around him, as he took his first step outside. His second step had caused a terrible stampede among the H.Casus, as they ran as fast as they could from the zoo, trying to escape the diseased animal that Joe was. He walked along the zoo paths, and Casus ran before him.

He reached the exit to the zoo, and all who were trying to get out, gave him room to walk. Then a great cry went up, as he walked outside of the zoo, “We cannot allow him to get out, he will destroy us, our world is in trouble, who will save our children?!” He turned and ran, and the fat and bulbous animals that were H.Casus could not keep up with him as hard as they tried. They looked with horror at his retreating figure, and great hush fell over the crowd, as they realized the terrible finality of what was done.

Joe walked along a highway, large 16 lane monstrosity, riddled new Casus cars, which ran on coal based fuel, as oil had run out even during Homo Sapiens time. At length, he came upon a neighborhood, the houses round in shape, as the H.Casus believed that the symbol of the Almighty was a circle, and that the half-spherical housing would protect them from ill luck. He was tired from running, and was not used to the physical exercise, after 3 years in a cage. He knew he needed to eat and drink, and find a place to hide out, as the news of his escape would surely reach the armed forces of Casus by telepathic network, and great search would commence, with orders given to bring him in dead or alive. “Most likely dead,” he bitterly thought, “They will not risk their own lives in trying to capture me alive, it would be easier to electropulse me into submission. Even then, I doubt they would touch my corpse!” He saw the blur from far, and he knew that the Army was after him, he knew he needed to hide. Joe desperately tried to open the door of the nearest house, and it gave.
In room the women come and go/Talking of Michelangelo.
  





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Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:53 am
sokool15 says...



And lo!, in their great haste, the door to the prison remained unlocked, so scared were they of the disease that now swam around in the cage.


Er...hem...'lo'??? Dare I say...awkward and archaic? The tone of this entire sentence doesn't fit with the rest of your piece. It's like you suddenly inserted a sentence in a Bible format, then reverted back to your normal writing style. "So scared were they" is awkward, and "Lo" is just plain...let's just say, my reaction wasn't positive.

EDIT: I don't particularly like 'In their great haste" or 'remained unlocked' either. Actually, I don't like the whole sentence. Rewrite the whole thing.

Otherwise, an excellent piece. I really like the idea...you say you're going to make this a short story, not a novel? Because right now I'm not seeing a quick conclusion, unless he dies, which would be disappointing.

Anyway, your writing style is very good, smooth and nice. Your ideas are original...well, I think they're original, but I haven't read a lot of sci-fi. ARgh! I keep getting side-tracked. Anyway, good job, and I can't wait to see the conclusion.

Forgive this unworthy female dog for her strangeness. :P

At least I'm consistent. :roll:

Au revoir!

~Madame Kool 8)
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
~Albert Einstein
  








Edna began to feel like one who awakens gradually out of a dream, a delicious, grotesque, impossible dream, to feel again the realities pressing into her soul.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening