Young Writers Society

The Last War

‘I’m not a writer.I’m not a poet that writes a silly old romance about a man and woman that ends up dead in the end. I am one of the few men that survived a horrible and devastating war. I’m not going to tell you every little detail that happened. I am a soldier. I am Adam Taylor.
I will start of with my life just before the war so that you get a good glimpse of my family, then I’ll tell you of my friends in the war, though, my family wasn’t big. They were all almost killed in the last ‘’Bloody war’’ that you can hardly call it a family. Somehow my mother,brother, sister and my two nephews survived the ‘’Bloody war’’. My father died in the Fire War(Bloody War is the best way to put it.) when a grenade fell right in front of him while he was taking cover by a few logs that were packed up together. Not the best way to step into the light but I think he did good.
My mother was the smallest in the family even after the bombing on our hometown that killed almost everybody in California.
She was fit, yet rather lazy. Not quite sure how to explain that. She always carried her handbag anywhere we went, even when we were evacuating from California after the bombing.
My sister was the youngest and the tallest of us all. She thinks that she was just ‘’big bone’’ but I think it was from my father she got it from. My sister is 6,8 foot. My father was 7,3 foot so it really works out. She was from my point of view a very attractive young lady. But that is just me. She was very gentle and didn’t like to hear bad things about anybody in the family. Not because she started to cry, but that she told it to the person so you had to keep it a secret or else.
To tell you the truth, I didn’t really know my nephews. As a matter of fact, I’ve never seen my two nephews in my life. I just knew that that they died in a concentration camp in Italy in the last year of the war. I also heard they were real buggars when it came to anything in that concentration camp.
So as I said. I’m not a writer but I am going to tell you about the war. I will tell it as I saw it. I will take you to the places that I fought, just those places where I shot the enemy down, in the last war.'

I enjoyed the story and i think you can really make this turn into a hit. the only problem is that you tend to make little mistakes, like, "She always carried her handbag anywhere we went," rather say "she always carried her handbag with her".

keep up the good work!