Young Writers Society

In the year of 2027 an island was discovered at the far east of New Zealand, a small country at the near bottom of the world. It was named Proxide X, a group of highly trained men from the U.S military were sent to the island to examine and find out about if there were any humans or animals living there. 3 months those men were on the island, when the helicopters turned up the men were nowhere to be found.
Rescue teams where sent out to restore those men back to their families but once found, all that was left of them were the dried out bones in a bundle.
No one has ever been sent back there since; people forgot about the discovery and moved on. But, that one single question haunts the U.S military till today, 3 years from the incident. Who or what murdered those men on that island, and how the hell did they get there?

More coming soon

Sounds interesting. So its something like what happened to the colonists on the lost settlement of Roanoke? One problem, scientists have scanned the earth thousands of times...they have satilites everywhere. How could the miss an island, they have the entire globe mapped out. You would have better luck with them exploring a new planet, or a moon, because there is no way that they could have mapped it so completely and thouroughly. Space agencies do have many satelites scanning planets and moons, but they probably wouldn't be sharp enough to focus a person.

I disagree, Nem. If there was some kind of field obstructing all the scanning stuff...
Smex, I'm not hooked. You need to up this... up.

Firstly, your title
Your title needs to draw emotional investment from your reader. Proxide X does not do that. Generally, place and people names suck as a title unless there's something unusual about those (Chocolate Factory).
Also, it's not very clear. Given that this is in a sci-fi forum, that name could mean anything. I need to know the scope of your story. I wondered if it was going to be galactic or planetary or what.

The piece
Now I know it's not developed but from what I'm seeing, it's going to be about exploring the island, right? Hmmmblurgulfurgle... There's gotta be something really amazing there or else the story'll sound cheezy. A good idea would be to describe the monster a bit, let us see its ferocity (unless it's a bunny, that'll be so cool ).

Anyway, you have inspired me to write an entirely sci-fi novel so thank you.

Looking forward to reading this piece,
TheNewHero