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Young Writers Society


Smoke and dust 12



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41 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 41
Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:42 pm
Willow says...



“Couldn’t you have forced her or something?” Bevan asked me.
We were sitting in the clearing once again, discussing the little girl. Bevan’s right arm was in a sling, his knuckles were cleaned and he looked much better.
“It was like she had the mind of a six-year-old,” I said. “She couldn’t have hurt him.”
“Who knows what the minds of six-year-olds are like in Adwen?” Bevan said. “They could be murderous or something, I mean, look at her face.”
“I doubt murderous people carry rag dolls and play in sandpits.”
“How would you know she carries a rag doll?” Bevan asked bewilderedly.
I sighed. Bevan doesn’t know about my first excursion into Adwen. I didn’t know whether I should tell him.
“She’s just a kid okay?”
We sat in silence for a moment. It was hot in the dense foliage. I wanted to go back to the coolness of the cottage. Just as I stood up, Bevan spoke again.
“Any news from my father?” he asked to the ground.
“No one has seen him for a while,” I said. “The villagers think –“ I took a breath. “They think he’s gone back to the city.”
“What do you mean back?” Bevan asked, standing up quickly. He accidentally bumped his right elbow against the log we were leaning against, causing him to wince in pain.
“I don’t know, Bevan.”
He looked back at the ground.
“If he’s really gone,” he started. “I can come back.” His face lightened up. I could tell he missed it. I did too. The mark was fading rapidly now. I hoped it’d be gone in a few days.
“But there won’t be any Combat and Stealth without Magorian.”
“You’ll know where he is tomorrow,” Bevan said quickly.
He made for the opening to the clearing, but I grabbed his arm.
“Let me just make sure Bevan,” I said. “I’ll go to your cottage tonight and see if he’s there.” I knew Bevan could be reckless. I didn’t really want to go to his father. I like the rest of the town, was scared of him. I just didn’t want Bevan to know that.
“You’d do that?” Bevan asked, amazed. The sudden spark of admiration in his eyes made me smile.
“Anytime.”
My life is a broken stair
Winding down a ruined tower
and leading no where
  





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1258 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:31 pm
Sam says...



Hmmm...

Not much else to say. Pretty good, not profound. But it's getting interesting...
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





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41 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 41
Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:54 am
Willow says...



This is just like a little part in between.
Do you think I should change Nudith to Amaia?
My life is a broken stair
Winding down a ruined tower
and leading no where
  





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323 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 323
Sat Apr 23, 2005 5:15 am
hekategirl says...



I like Amaia but it seems to bright and cheerful. I kind of have a, not dark sense of the girl, but not a bright and cheerful sense of her. And like Sam said this is good but no profound. But good :D
***Honorary 11-Year-Old***

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