– Chapter Two –
Ashling
I gazed out of the misted window, watching as the autumn leaves drifted lazily to the dew-ridden grass. The room was far from silent, yet nobody was speaking. It was if nine of us really knew what to say to each other. This had been going on for so long. I knew they were all trying to be careful of what they said around me and as much as I appreciated their concern, this constant lack of conversation didn’t help to distract me from my thoughts very well.
Jack sat in one corner of the room, strumming away lazily on his guitar. I couldn’t recognise the song he was playing but the sound was beautiful, and once again I envied him for the melody he could bring out of a wooden object. He had offered to teach me a few months ago, but I declined almost instantly. I didn’t think he quite understood why, it was common knowledge that I was jealous of his musical talent. But I didn’t want to have to stand failing at something else so soon. I hadn’t protected Jack, no matter what Eric said. I had only failed in protecting Harry.
Over by the desk, Eric sat in his usual seat, eyes glued to the computer screen. I had no idea what he was so engrossed in all of the time, and I didn’t care enough to ask. I guessed it would have something to do with The Creator but from the impatient noises he was making it didn’t seem like his research had come to much.
For once, we were all in the same room at the same time. Since the… accident… I had avoided spending time around them, especially Tyler. I knew I was a misery to have around, and it couldn’t have been helping their self confidence to see me sat in the corner, moping. This afternoon, even Tyler had joined us in the living room, sat silently reading a book. He did a lot of that these days; whenever I went into a room I would usually find him curled up in some corner with a thick novel. He often looked up upon my entrance, but I would back out before saying anything. I didn’t know how to act around him, let alone how to speak to him.
And then there was Harry. Stupid, thoughtless, wonderful… Harry. I just couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him. At night I would awaken from dreams filled with his empty face, lying there on that table. I would scream loudly into my pillow every night without fail. But I knew these dreams were not my usual ones. They didn’t hold premonitions for when I would see Harry again, I knew that much. They were just the mixed thoughts of a guilty conscience.
If I had never met him Harry would still be alive today. I was almost certain of it. If I hadn’t been stupid enough to run from my home in the first place he would be living in that little shop, completely and blissfully happy. Or would he? The fact that I would have never met him didn’t change the fact that The Creator had found him first. Would he have been safe if The Creator hadn’t instructed him to wait there? Was he waiting for me?
Endless questions had been circling around my head ever since Harry’s return. How did The Creator know who I was? Or where to find me? Was it possible that he knew my next move before I knew my own?
Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder and I gave a start, looking around from the window for the first time in an hour. “Harry?”
Tyler frowned at me, and raised his eyebrows. “I’m afraid not. It’s just me.”
“Sorry,” I muttered. “I was just thinking about him. That’s all.”
He didn’t acknowledge this statement. A part of me wondered briefly whether he was still angry at Harry for having given me over to The Creator. But that was nonsense, surely. You couldn’t be angry at someone who had died. Tyler gestured outside. “Come for a walk with me.”
I shook my head. “I don’t really feel like it thanks.”
“That wasn’t a question.”
I inspected his face closely, looking for any hint as to what he was feeling. But his expression was like statue, distant and impossible for me to read.
“Ok…”
“Come with me for a walk outside.”
I watched him carefully. “I don’t have a choice then?”
“No.”
Slowly, because my bones had stiffened after being in the same position for so long, I raised myself up from the window seat and stretched. My limbs felt almost numb, as if they weren’t mine. Ordinarily, I would have taken the time to stretch them out individually, but Tyler didn’t look as if he was in the mood to wait today. Ignoring the pins and needles in my foot, I walked towards the kitchen, hearing his light footsteps behind me.
Thankfully, walking seemed to bring back some of the feeling to my body and it wasn’t even that painful. I reached the door and lifted the handle… but it didn’t open. I blinked in surprise. “It’s locked!”
Tyler withdrew a hand from his pocket and produced a rusted silver key. “Here.”
Inserting it into the keyhole, I twisted the key and found that the door swung open quite easily. “Why was it locked?”
“Eric did it.”
It was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone, evidently if I wanted answers I was going to have to ask these questions directly. “Why did Eric lock it?”
“For protection.”
“Protection against what?”
For the second time, he raised his eyebrows coldly. “I would have thought that you of all people could work out why, Ashling.”
I nodded. Personally, I didn’t see what use a locked door would have against The Creator. After all, Harry had broken his way through a door and the barricade that Jack had put up against it. It was unlikely that lack of a key would make The Creator turn around and say, “Sorry, we can’t get in here. The door is locked. I guess we’ll just have to leave them alone from now on. There’s no way for us to get them.” I snorted quietly.
“What is it?”
“Nothing,” I assured him. “I just had a funny thought.
“Oh.” He walked through the open door and I followed him, assuming he wanted me to do the same. I winced as I stepped outside, the icy wind whipped around me, whisking my hair into oblivion. But just as I was wishing I’d fought harder to stay inside the wind was gone, and the air was almost pleasant. I wrapped my arms around my chest, and wandered after Tyler, retracing the familiar path to the lake.
But we didn’t go all the way down to the water’s edge today, and for that I was fairly grateful. I didn’t think I would be able to cope with the temperature down there for a long amount of time. He stopped about ten or so steps into the forest and I caught up with him as he slowed to a halt, looking up at the bare trees that surrounded us.
It was quite surreal, being here in the winter. I hadn’t properly set foot outside since the end of summer, when the area was still abundant with fresh, green wildlife. I knew the plants and animals were only sleeping, but it gave the place an almost eerie feel to it. I didn’t like it one bit.
I glanced at Tyler again, hoping that he was going to get on with whatever reason he had dragged me out into the silent trees. Was Eric planning on resuming my training? If he was, I would have to have words with him. I wasn’t planning on staying outside any longer than I had to and this wasn’t even the coldest weather!
“We need to talk.”
I shuddered. Those four words were ones I knew were never going to be good news. “About what?”
For the first time since we had stepped out the door, he lowered his head and looked directly at me. “Us.”
“What about us?”
He sighed heavily. “Don’t make this too easy, will you?” He asked, voice dripping in sarcasm. “God forbid you to make anything easier.”
I said nothing, but stared directly back into his face. What on earth had gotten into him?
“You want me to spell it out?”
“That might be helpful.”
“Ever since Harry died…”
“He was killed,” I interjected. “His death wasn’t accidental.”
“Well it wasn’t my fault!”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
He took a deep breath and then begun again. “Ever since Harry was killed you’ve hardly spoken a word to me.” As I tried to interrupt again he held up a single, long finger. “Don’t try to deny it Ashling. We both know it’s true.
“I tried for weeks to get you to confide in me, to tell me how you were feeling. But all you did is sit and stare out that bloody window! I figured it would be ok, you would come around and I would be patient and wait until you were ready to talk again. But guess what? You didn’t.
“And now it’s been months and I can’t stand not knowing where we are anymore. I’m not as patient as I thought I could be. So you’re going to have to tell me now. What’s the deal between us? Because I’ve tried to work it out for ages and I just can’t. You tell me.”
“It’s not my fault Harry died.”
He threw his hands up in the air and I stepped back in surprise. “This isn’t even about Harry! Or it wasn’t until you just said that at least. Why are you so caught up on him?”
“Because he saved my life Tyler! Because if he’d handed me over to The Creator the very first time he met me I’d be dead by now. Or working for him, which is probably worse. I owe him my life and I won’t ever forget that!”
He didn’t even bother to argue this time. “So where does that leave us?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” When he said nothing I continued. “Can’t we just slow things down a little?”
That had, apparently, struck a chord. On the bright side he wasn’t yelling anymore, but the quiet defeat in his voice was just as painful. “If we slow down more than we have done in the past few months we’ll be going backwards. Do you even want to still be with me?”
I hesitated. We had never put a label on whatever relationship the two of us had. If an outsider had asked it was likely I still would have referred to us as ‘good friends’ or even worse: ‘it’s complicated.’ I just didn’t know where we stood on that front. But it appeared that neither did he. “Is that what we are then? We’re together? A couple?”
“I don’t know.”
I glanced at the ground, wishing with all my might that it would swallow me up into it and I wouldn’t have to deal with this awkward situation. Nothing happened though. It seemed that my powers didn’t extend to being swallowed up by the ground. Typical. Just when they would have come in use.
“So what now?”
He grimaced. “I guess we just… take it slow.”
“And what does that mean?”
He leant over and took my hand. “Let’s go from here.”
I nodded. “I think I can do that.”
Together, we walked hand in hand back to the house. I knew the fight was over for now, but I had no clue who had won.
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