z

Young Writers Society


The Dawning of Blood (Part 2)



User avatar
11 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 950
Reviews: 11
Tue Nov 01, 2011 5:27 am
Elena_Ravenhill says...



Second Dawn

You probably thinking why go through all that trouble? Why would the angel go through such humility and violence? Just to send a message, it sound so far fetched. It was her mission, and it was my family's duty to fulfill her mission. I'm just part of god's plan to stop a war that I don't belong to but I live in the land that was created by god's hand! I have to fight just like Adonia. Now Adonia is an angel and I'm a man. A human, that my ancestors passed the tale of her down to me. The last of the line, its pretty sad.
As Adonia fell down from the cliff, the rush of air smelling the fresh water below. Her words echoed around the canyon. She held her hand close to her chest, as the clouds parted as a ray of sunshine, blinded the priest and the rest of the villagers. Adonia reached out the the light of the sun as is slowly clocked her with its warmth. She smiled warmly as she reached the water, the tides carried her down the river. As the ray of light diminished and faded back into the dark clouds. The villagers also the priest blinked after their short blindness, the priest looked over the cliff. There was no sight of Adonia, he smirked as he looked at them. "Rejoice for thou witch is dead!" all the villagers lifted their pitch fork and cheered. On the other side of the ledge, the pack of wolves looked down. The leader sniffed the air as it sat down and howled out, the rest of the pack followed after the leader and howled.
Adonia stood up from the water, gasping for air trying to reach out for something. The current rushed, pushing her off her feet. Adonia trying to stay afloat, gasping for air. Then she stopped fussing in the water letting it taking her, she passed out in the water. Adonia's body carried by the current, she landed on the shore of a small lake.

Even so this angle was drifted down by the water then came my family line. They saved her and she cursed us. The name that has been long passed started with him. Nevertheless, she never gave up on her job.

Adonia woke up, feeling feeling the dirt of the shore and moss on the rocks. Two young boys were walking toward the shore line from the other side. Adonia couldn't be able to open her eyes let alone to open them. She lightly touched her face as she felt a sticky goo on her fingertips. She whimpered lightly, "Oh woe me heavenly father, where thou my eyes?" she coughed feeling the same goo that was flowing out of her eyes. Afraid to know what it was or to smell it, the soft and yet gentle wind blew the scent of sharp metals mixed with water. "Blood..." her voice trailed silently. She knew that her time was coming to a end, Adonia was not going to leave without telling someone about the future.

The young boys were talking softly, "Alright Amrit, for today we are going to have fish!" the small boy nodded lightly. Amrit his green eyes and dirty blonde child, Adonia didn't need eyes to see that he has a pure soul. "Big brother, is this going to take long? I want to go back to sleep..." his eye barely opened, but in his sweet tone of voice. His brothers sighed heavily, "Look the sooner we catch a fish we can go home." Small Amrit took out the loaf of bread, breaking the loaf into pieces for the fishes. The ducks came quacking picking the bread off the water, Amrit their to shoo them away from the bread. Adonia looked at the other child, he wasn't like the other small one. She couldn't tell is he was good or bad? His soul was simply not pure no more. Kyran pulled out his bow and pulled the arrow back, "Amrit stand aside...But very slowly." he said softly. Amrit looked back and noticed the arrow he moved away from the target behind him.

Kyran's blue eyes, focused on the the three ducks lined up. Trying to steady his aim for the hunt the, ducks paid no mind on him or Amrit but on the bread that Amrit left on the water. Kyran inhaled deeply, as he slowly lets go of the arrow piercing right through the sitting ducks. Amrits eyes widen, Adonia gasped lightly.
Last edited by Elena_Ravenhill on Mon Dec 12, 2011 9:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and
some have greatness thrust upon 'em.

Twelfth Night - William Shakespeare
  





User avatar
32 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 671
Reviews: 32
Tue Nov 01, 2011 3:27 pm
Redfang18 says...



This gives me an idea of where the Good and Evil Brothers come from. An angel on a mission and struggling to accomplish it by any means possible. You know how to write them down and draw in the right people. Keep writing this piece and more reviews will come your way. This is a very beautiful piece. Don't let others tell you otherwise. Good work and God bless your soul for the work of your storybook.
Look down and show some mercy if you can.
Look down, look down, upon your fellow man.

~~~Les Miserables
  








they say money can't buy happiness, but what they don't realize is that money *can* buy novelty socks.
— blueca