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Young Writers Society


I lost my best friend today.



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Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:30 pm
MandaPanda1031 says...



Spoiler! :
Please read all of this spoiler This is 100% true. My best friend got taken from the school today, I miss her teribly and according to the school consler, she isn't coming back, I love my best friend, she makes me, well, me. Even though you don't know her, please, keep her in your prayers. I need my best friend back, I don't know what I would do with out her. I had to write this to get my feelings out, I wrote it when I was sure that I had cried it all away evne though I did shed a few tears while I wrote about the part where I was telling her how much she ment to me. I will be sending this to her by mail if I ever hear from her again, you have no idea how hard this is. Thank you for reading.

I lost my best friend today. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.

Today started great. We had choir and our teacher was gone so we got to watch a movie instead. I don’t know if something happened at your house the night before because you and Camille were both a bit cranky. I was glad it was Friday, glad for a weekend after a long week of testing, I think you were too, but little did you know you wouldn’t be going home that night.

Our day continued until I had to go to language class. Rachel asked me if I knew what happened to Camille. I was confused until Larissa told me Mr. Clause had taken you from testing earlier that day. Rachel commented again saying she saw him and Mrs. Wrasse taking everything out of your Camille's locker.

Cassy, Larissa, Rachel, and I ran down the hall to Camille’s locker, even though the bell had already rung. Her white board was missing and in that moment, my heart seemed to skip a beat. I burst out in tears, never did I think I would be sad to see that white board missing. It may have been extremely unnessasary for Camille to post the fact that Bobo, the family’s cat, was missing on the outside of her locker, but the white board being there in that moment was to important to think about what it had contained. We ran back to class, I was the only one in tears, I guess you weren’t as liked here as I thought you were. I mean, you were a bit quite, never really putting yourself into our conversations, but in that moment I missed you incredibly like I thought I could never miss anyone before.

With my head down, tears rolling from my eyes, I didn’t hear one word Mrs. Erikson had to say that hour. I walked aimlessly to literature, knowing the words sprawled across the page in the book we had been reading would mean nothing today. Instead I watched my tears stain the ink covered pages for the first five minutes of class before confronting the teacher. He came out into the hall with me and Rachel and I explained the situation. He told us he knew nothing, but called Mrs. Wrasse downstairs and she agreed to meet with us.

We gathered our things and walked down the stairs witch seemed extremely empty without you by my side. I glanced at the wall and noticed your ‘Proud’ project was missing, it was a simple thing, but it represented the fact that I might never see you again. The hall way that was really only a few feet long seemed like hundreds of miles. Rachel and I were silent as we made our way to Mrs. Wrasse’s office and she greeted us and handed me a box of tissues for my running eyes.

She simpliy asked us what we knew in an annoyed kind of voice. I told her about Jade, she was my best friend until she moved across the county. I told her you were my only good friend, I knew Candy and Mary were trying to adopt you. Rachel inturupted and started to explain how we came to the conclusion that you were gone. She told us the social workers had a meeting with you and Candy. I can’t believe that I fell for that. She said you had to discuss a new plan and that they had to empty your lockers in case you didn’t return. I cried harder and she seemed even more annoyed.

As much as I seemed to ignore you, you were my best friend. Before this, I never knew how fast you could lose everything. I miss you with all my heart. It feels like there is something inside my chest that needs to explode, causing my body to break into a million tiny pieces. I don’t have anyone now. I am alone. You must be scared. I am sad, and also scared for you, I am confused. I don’t know when you will come back. Salina, I never knew how much you ment to me. I always thought if the next day you were to disappear, it would be ok, but I’m not ok. I feel dead inside. My other half is missing. Something about me is completely wrong. You gave my soul a spark Salina, you gave it something it didn’t have before and now that you are gone, it is as well. I am a sad depressed person now, if you compared me to the old me and to the me I am now, you would see a spunky happy girl and a lonely girl who sits in the corner waiting for something that will never come. I can not be repaired, I am broken, the only way I will ever be fixed is to be reunited with you.

I will be truthful, I used to think Jade was the best person in the world, but when she left, I didn’t shed one tear. I had been her best friend for nearly five years, and yours for only one yet I can’t live without you. Before you, I was happy, when you came, I was even happier, and now that you are gone, I can’t restore the happy I had before you, I am only sad. I want you to come back. I miss your laugh. The way you wrote your last name, how you walked! I miss the stupid arguments we used to have, how you could laugh at everything and make me laugh as well. I miss everything about you, but most importantly, I miss that you were there for me. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but this time, nobody is here to tell me it will be OK. Nobody is by my side to tell me that tomorrow will be better. I am alone, but you must be twice as alone.

We called Candy tonight. She told us a cop had come to the house and said the state of Minnesota was taking you away. She said she had no clue where you were, the social workers wouldn’t tell her. I prayed 5,000,000,000 times that you were safe and that you would return home. I simply can’t survive without you. I am not me anymore. I am someone entirely different. I just hope you have been able to contact Candy. I know she will do anything in her power to get you back. She loves you, I can tell. Even though Mrs. Wrasse said you probably would never go to school here again, I still have hope, she can never know. Obviously if she thought you were going to a meeting and was wrong, she could be wrong about you not coming back, right? I will keep praying, I have told so many people, you are gone but if they pray, you may come back. We all are praying. You will return safely, you will come home. We all miss you now that you are gone. If you don’t come back, I will leave her to come searching for you. Salina, I love you will all of my heart and I miss you. Never forget me, your friend, Amanda.
Last edited by MandaPanda1031 on Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:52 pm
stevensmith05 says...



THIS IS BRILLIANT :)
  





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Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:32 pm
Audrey718 says...



Very nicely written. you include yur feelings, setting, and characters very well. Great job!
Audrey
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Mon Nov 07, 2011 2:56 am
MariaRowlands says...



Is this all true? It felt as though it was real! WRITE MORE! Please.
May The Blood of my Enemies Flow Like Rivers to the Sea
  





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Tue Nov 22, 2011 1:16 pm
Cookjess048 says...



Hello!

Okay this piece needs a bit of work. Some of the parts were great, I will agree with the others who posted before me! However, yes I understand that you lost your bestfriend, but I wouldn't have put it in this fourme. I liked how you seemed to portray your feelings throughout, but I felt like it was more of a diary entry then a piece of prose. During points you seemed to have detail like when you were describing the white board or the "proud" project. If you want to put and use detail like that then use it all the way through your writing, not just in parts. As a reader and an avid writer I crave deatail and the little snippits you gave, for me wasn't enough. It helps me when I wish to inclue detail to show not tell! try to show the reader what the character is seeing not tell them, inclued detail.

As for the character aspect, I would have loved to know more about these poeple! You just bring them in and out of the story with no background or a detailed description about them. Who are they? What do they mean to the girl who has gone missing? Things like this need to be covered before a character makes an entrance.

I would have loved to have seen more detail and a little bit more background information. I still feel like it was a diary entry and not meant for others to see it. Also, remember to show not tell! That is the biggest problem with detail!

Otherwise keep working at it!

Cook
  





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Tue Nov 22, 2011 6:04 pm
Benrobertringrose says...



Hi,

A very impressive moving piece of work

I especially enjoyed the beginning, however saying that the whole thing was really well put together! I found your writing style very unique, it definitely kept me hooked throughout.

Well done, keep up the good work!
  








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