Young Writers Society

I want you to know that I have always and will always love you even if I’m not there for you…

“BEEP!”

Josh slammed his fist onto the buzzing alarm clock, almost breaking his fist in the process. He hated being woken up, no matter how late in the day it was. He groaned and shifted positions to see what the clock read at this un-godly hour of the morning. “Six forty-five” shone back at him on top of the black back-drop of his clock, temporarily blinding him.

He sluggishly dropped out of bed and crawled to the bathroom. Upon arrival, he stood up straight and stepped into the shower. Once inside, he turned the hot and cold knobs to his liking. After the water warmed up, he flipped the little, metal tab up, and water came rushing out of the shower head, hitting is waiting body. A refreshing smile crept across his tired face as the familiar water cleansed his body. In the shower, it seemed like there was just him and nobody else. He was alone and the worries of life were gone, even if it was only just for a few short minutes. Those minutes would normally be the only time he had to feel carefree, so he cherished them dearly.

After letting the water just run down his body for a minute or so, he reached over to the shampoo, careful not to slip. He poured a dime-sized amount of the Suave Men’s Dandruff Shampoo onto his palm, rubbed it together between his hands and finally transferred it to his head. He massaged the shampoo into his scalp, digging his nails into his scalp just to see what it would feel like. He felt nothing. He kept pressing until the water coming down from his head ran red. He smiled.

After lathering, rinsing, and repeating, he cautiously stepped out of the shower onto the cold tile floor. He grabbed the fluffy, blue towel from the rack and rubbed it all over himself to dry off. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he walked over to the foggy mirror. He looked at it for a few seconds and finally reached out his hand to wipe away the fog and create a clear space so he could look at himself. He sighed and placed all of his weight on the counter to keep from slipping.

He took a long look at himself and turned his head away, ashamed of what he saw. What had he turned into? All through elementary school, he was that kid that was so truly happy. He had been the one that always turned in his homework, got projects turned in a week in advance, asked the teacher for more homework. He had been the one that loved all animals and was able to identify every organism on the face of the planet. He had been that perfect, little Christian boy that never missed a day of church. He had been the one that always cared.

But now… now he was the boy that never went to church, that never turned in homework, the one that hurt himself just to feel something… the one that just didn’t care anymore. He was a monster.

He laughed at himself for caring about who he was. This was weakness in his eyes so he just moved on. After pulling on a fresh pair of skinny jeans and a worn out V-neck, he went back to his room to get his phone, iPod and wallet. Once he felt prepared for the day ahead, he walked down the hall and into the dining area. His mom and Sam were already sitting at the table eating breakfast.

“You want any cereal?” questioned his mom.

“No, I’m not hungry…” he mumbled back.

“Okay, but if you get hungry, the food will be waiting right here!” she replied

Josh just kept walking. Sam scoffed at him mockingly, trying to get Josh to respond. He just kept walking as before.
He reached up to the highest cabinet and pulled out his tin, Star Wars lunchbox. He carefully placed a zip-lock bag of baby carrots, a water bottle, a small bag of Cheetos and a pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich into it. He tossed the lid onto it, snapped the metal locks shut and started heading for the front door.

Right as he was opening the door, Trixie, his dog, came bounding up to him. She stood in front of his way, keeping him from leaving.

“Trixie, move!” he demanded.

She just sat there, wagging her tail and smiling.

“Move.”

She whimpered.

“I have to go; I’ll see you when I get home, okay?”

She didn’t budge.

Josh just pushed her out of the way with his foot and made his way out the door. As he was making his way to the school bus, he pulled up his black hoodie, popped in his ear-buds and started playing the latest Paramore album. Paramore was his newest obsession. At home, he listened to old records, but when he was out and about, he strictly listened to Paramore.

“You don’t have to believe me,
But the way I, way I see it,
Next time you point a finger,
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off.
Next time you point a finger,
I’ll point you to the mirror.”

These lyrics drowned out the sound of the bus’s screeching wheels as it pulled up to him. The rusty doors flew open and all of the waiting kids lined up to get on. He always chose last so he wouldn’t have to worry about hurried people behind him from pushing him over. Breathing in a deep breath, he flipped his hair and put on a fake smile that was ready to fake face the world.

After boarding the bus, his tired eyes searched the bus for a seat as he slowly made his way down the aisle.
“Hey Eden! Oh hey girl, hey! How you doin’ boo?” flew out of his mouth as he greeted everyone he knew on the bus. Normally he felt like talking more, but today he felt anti-social. He found a spot that didn’t have too many people near it, but not a spot that had not enough people, and sat down placing his bags in the empty spot next to him so no one would ask to sit there. As if anyone would anyways.

The doors slammed shut and the bus rumbled to a start. Lurching forward, the bus slowly made its way to school, or as Josh liked to call it, hell. Thankfully he had his music to save him.

He leaned his head against the cold window pane and stared out the window, expressionless. He liked to watch the trees go by and try to count them when they passed. After five minutes of doing this, he gave up. He went back to staring without doing anything else.

Soon, the trees turned into just empty grasslands. This always depressed Josh, because when he was younger, that whole area had been forestry. That grassland soon turned into another road.

Those blurs of land turned into blurs of other cars as the bus switched lanes, moving onto a busier road. Off in the distance, Josh could see the high school becoming bigger and bigger as the bus became closer and closer to school. His fists clenched, his skin tightened and he squeezed his eyes shut at just the thought of school. He could tell today was going to suck.

SCREEEEE!

The bus screeched to a halt and everyone went flying forwards, hitting their heads on the seats in front of them, belongings flying everywhere.

“Sorry! My bad…” mumbled the driver as all of the kids aboard the bus groaned and picked up their belongings strewn across various areas of the bus.

All of the kids swung their backpacks, satchels, purses, messenger bags, whatever they carried their personal belongings with, over their shoulders simultaneously, as if they were robots. Marching in a single file line, the kids hopped off the bus, saying their words of thanks to the bus driver routinely, before they touched ground on the school property.

Josh snatched up his backpack and tossed it onto his back and stepped into the back of the line, waiting his turn to get off. Finally when his spot switched from being last, to being first, he jumped off of the bus, not even saying thank you to the driver, and ran into the building.

“No running!” screamed counselors and worried teachers standing outside of the school doors as he rushed by them.
He barely even acknowledged what they said as he kept on moving to where he was going. His destination: the library.
To get to the one quiet place of the whole school, Josh had to weave his way between crowds of people and cliques, break a few couple’s arms as he pulled their hands apart to get through the narrow halls and brush off a few insults, but he was ready.

On your mark, get set, GO! He thought to himself as he charged into the mass of people that society calls “high-school”.

The doors slammed open as he completely threw his body straight through the metal double-doors of Melloughbrook High-school. He rushed through the commons area, pushed through those double-doors into the courtyard, half waving and giving his best smile he could at people he knew, broke through one last pair of double-doors and finally turned into the library.

He ran his hand through his hair coolly, trying to hide the fact that he was breathing hard. His eyes frantically ran over the crowd of people sitting at miscellaneous desks and computers trying to find her. Finally his eyes landed upon her.
She was sitting coiled behind a bookshelf, her nose stuck inside the latest paranormal teen-romance novel that had come out. The only reason he spotted her was because someone had checked out the first three books in the Twilight series, leaving a hole in the row of books big enough to spot her face. He slowly started walking towards her, giving him time to catch his breath. As he got closer, he could tell that she was wearing her glasses today. She always felt self- conscious wearing them and often commented on how ugly she thought they made her look. He thought she was beautiful.

That was one of Josh’s many talents. He was able to see the beauty in almost every single person and in almost every single situation. But he just wasn’t able to find the beauty in himself. Whenever he told anyone this, they all of a sudden jumped to the conclusion that since he couldn’t find himself beautiful, than whatever compliment he just told them must have been a lie. This obviously wasn’t true.

He ambled right over to her, leaned against the wall and poked her.

“Hey.” He softly said to her as he slid down the wall to sit next to her.

“Hey,” She replied, looking up at him with a smile, her eyes glistening behind her beautiful, black, wire-rim glasses. “How are ya’ boy?”

“Oh, I’m just fine, what about you?” he responded with a sigh.

“You seem sad, what’s up?” she asked with a worried expression on her face.

“Well, Sam and I sorta’ got into a fight last night… but it’s ok, don’t worry.”

Josh felt so guilty whenever Laura was worried for him. He just didn’t think he was worth the worrying… there are a lot of other things that people need to worry about in the world, he didn’t matter that much.

“Listen,” she said with a concerned look, slightly touching his arm to get his attention. “If you ever need me, just call, okay? I don’t want anything bad to happen.”

“I know, I know. You tell me that every day.” Josh replied with a small smile on his face, not making eye contact with her.

“I say it every day because I’m serious about this, okay? Please just listen to me.”

“Okay, whatever.”

“You better,” Said Laura turning her attention back to her book.

Josh glanced around the library to see if anything interesting was happening. His attention quickly turned over to a girl sitting exactly opposite the room to him, crying in the corner. He thought to himself how many times he had been in that situation--too many was his response. He wanted to walk over there to ask her how she was and if she needed any help, but then realized that whenever he was upset and crying, he didn’t want anyone coming anywhere near to him. So he just sat there and felt her pain.

“Hey, we’ve only got a few minutes until the bell rings. You might want to get your stuff together for first period,” mentioned Laura.

“I only have my backpack, so I should be good. Thanks though!” he kindly replied to her.

“Oh, okay… well I’ve got a lot of books, so I’m gonna’ go ahead and check them out then go to class. Want to come with me?” she asked.

“Sure!” was his jubilant response.

He grabbed his bag, while she juggled her purse, backpack and six books in two hands.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Josh hurriedly said, grabbing four books with his empty hands.

“Thanks,” she airily let out letting go of the books he was now holding.

Josh simply gave her slight nod of the head to acknowledge her thanks, as they walked together to the checkout counter.

“A lot a’ books you got there, dontchya’?” exclaimed the chirpy, blonde librarian intern as she reached out to take the two handfuls of books from them.

Neither of them said anything in response. They were too tired. With each beep that the book scanner made, Josh and Laura got more and more impatient, as the bell was about to ring.

“Ope, looks like this little goober doesn’t want to scan…” the librarian said with a confused face.

This was not the time and place for something to go wrong. They had places to be and people to see. Well, minus the people to see part.

“Oh, I see! You have too many books checked out right now; you can only have ten books out at a time. You already have eight checked out, so are the two that I already scanned the ones that you want?” politely inquired the woman.

“Uhm… sure, yeah, whatever,” replied Laura, barely even glancing at the titles of the books. Her attention was focused on the time, just as Josh’s was.

“Okie dokie! Once you get these four other books back on the shelf where you found them, you’ll be all set to go!” said the librarian with a smile on her face.

He couldn’t tell if it was a sincere smile, or if she was just smirking at them. Either way, it didn’t make time go any slower.

Laura and Josh snatched two books each from the desk and hurried over to where Laura had been sitting and reading earlier. His eyes frantically searched for the “MEY” letter area of the shelves

“MAB, MAC, MCC, MEL, MEW… MEY!” Josh muttered under his breath, shoving the books into their rightful places.
After doing so, he turned around to high-five Laura. She placed her books on the shelf next to his, while high-fiving him with the other hand. They had some mad skills.

At the exact moment that their hands touched, the warning bell rang, raising a chorus of cries and groans. Josh and Laura looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They were definitely not ready to face the day.

Hand in hand, Josh and Laura walked out of the library and into the hallway. Once in the middle of the hallway, they hugged each other with the tightest embrace they could, told each other good luck for the day and exchanged goodbyes.
Upon letting go of Laura’s hand and walking down the hall alone, he heard a deep voice yell from behind him.

“FAG!”

He paused, started to swivel around on the balls of his heels, but his conscience stopped him. Normally he would have completed that turn and told the kid a piece of his mind, but no, not this time. This time, he would just keep on walking, and that’s exactly what he did.

“Yeah, that’s right! You better run!”

He just kept walking and walking, keeping his eye on the open hallway that lay ahead of him.