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Young Writers Society


Kindling Fires



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Gender: Female
Points: 790
Reviews: 14
Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:54 pm
cjscoot says...



(This was written for a summer English project...the point of the assignment was to "reach out to someone in the community" and then write a one page essay about your experience. How'd I do?)

Kindling Fires

As my friends and I walked into Hill Country Care, I was more than a little worried by how we would be received. Maybe these elderly women would not care for our mindless chatter, as we served them what would seem like endless tea and cookies. I do not know what brought these thoughts upon me, but as we escaped the dry Texas heat and entered the air conditioned building, I quelled my worries. “What do we live for,” I quoted to myself, “if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” (Eliot, George).

As the day progressed, however, I could tell these wise old women really enjoyed our presence. Our company continually made our way around the room, working like busy bees as we poured hot water and provided sugar for those who desired it. Another quote comes to mind as I think about that warm summer afternoon: “If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.” (Larcom, Lucy). I’d like to believe that day I kindled a few fires in the hearts of those women. Their faces became visibly warmer with each sip of piping hot tea, and when they did my heart grew larger and brighter in my chest, like a rapidly growing star.

Maybe it was just because they had no one to talk to, or because any company they received was welcome, but the women we served tea to that day loved us. It felt wonderful, knowing my work and presence was being appreciated. And it never felt like work. Each task I completed simply added to my happiness, whether it was refilling a cup or passing out more napkins.

Whatever happened that day, I know that the short amount of time we spent there kept the fire in each woman’s heart burning for a very long time. And I feel transformed, too. I may have gained more that day than those women. For, as they say, “it is in giving that we receive.”
"You. Are. Not. Leaving. Me." Ian O'Shea, The Host.
Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeding the 20th.
Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 668
Reviews: 131
Sun Jul 24, 2011 6:23 pm
DukeofWonderland says...



Awwwwww.....that was so nice. I'd love to get that feeling of satisfaction someday, and hopefully - someday soon:)
The title was really nice and so were the quotes. Here's one I won't forget in a while:


“What do we live for,” I quoted to myself, “if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” (Eliot, George).
I sure hope I could give some never comments, you know like constructive criticism, but I'm sorry being negative just ain't my thing- no matter how hard I try :)

I don't know what I was thinking when I thought I had a chance as a writer, coz y'all are way better than me. :(
"The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it
regularly went cuckoo."
-- Terry Pratchett, "Wyrd Sisters"
  





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Mon Aug 08, 2011 5:44 pm
IcyFlame says...



This was a really nice read! It was perhaps a little short, but that's what gave it it's charm.
cjscoot wrote:What do we live for,” I quoted to myself, “if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” (Eliot, George).
This was a great touch! It added to the piece perfectly!
The grammer was pretty much flawless, as was the spelling and I don't really have any constructive criticsm *sigh* I'm sorry!
  





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Points: 2162
Reviews: 64
Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:22 pm
shadowraiki says...



There isn't much to say that hasn't already been said. I agree that this is a nice, short piece. I hope you get a good grade for this.

Another quote comes to mind as I think about that warm summer afternoon:

This is the only real issue I found. You switched to present tense here where as the rest of the piece was in the past. While it makes sense in the fact that you are looked back TODAY and remembering the past, it would be better to just be consistant and say, 'Another quote came into my mind on that warm summer afternoon.' or something along those lines.
If words are just letters put together, why do we decide on what they mean?

I step away from the grammar to review the story.

I don't do poetry.
  








"Be yourself" is not advice. It's an existential crisis waiting to happen.
— Hank Green