Young Writers Society

I open the door of my bedroom and face the darkness. As the shapes writhe and twist around me I force myself to step into the living room and close the door. My heart lurches. There's nothing to be afraid of Morgan, I feel myself running. It seems so far away. Five steps later I stand in the bathroom, my back against the door and my heart pounding.

So weak. So, so weak. I make the walk of the shame to the bathroom, chastising myself as I do my business then wash my hands. It happens again on the way back. I end up in a shaking heap on my desk chair, angry at myself. At my fear. As I spin the chair around and boot up my computer, I feel a familiar prickling at the back of my neck.

Nothing's there girl. Ambient noises become loud and unfamiliar. Nothing. The prickling gets stronger. On the be- No. It's nothing. Nothing at all. I put in my head phones and turn on my music, but the outside noise only gets louder to my ears. I tear the head phones out and close my eyes. I don't move, too scared to make a sound. Too scared to turn and free myself. I was trapping myself in my desk chair, and I knew it. Yet I wasn't doing anything about it. Okay. One... Two... THREE!I don't move. I hear a sound- a real one- and spin around, my breath hitching.

Nothing. I shut off my computer then go to my bed and lie down. My eyes are glued to the television screen. I don't know when, but eventually I sleep. It's one in the morning. Something similar will happen tomorrow night, as it has every night before this one.

Well this work definetly made an impact, and i think it's well written.
i feel you have a great ability to create mood and atmosphere.
Keep writing
Ste

'Ello! You seem like a fairly new person. Welcome! I'm LadyPurple and I'm here to review. Haha okay then.
Nothing is wrong, really except one thing. Overall, the whole thing is cool.
The thing that's wrong is here:

There's nothing to be afraid of, Morgan

and...

Nothing's there, girl.

The thing is when somebody is talking to another person or themselves in this case you use a comma before the name of the person. Even if they're being called a name. Like Morgan here calling herself "girl".
That's all I see so...write on!
~LP

Fascinating and a little bit odd. I like it.
-hunter

Ahahaha Hi there Aerona!

You have done a great job with this very, very short story. xD I wish I knew the character better, though. About the writing there were some missing commas, I'd recommend you to re-read your piece and locate those empty spots. Don't hurt their feelings. But I recognize your descriptions are great!

Keep it up!

~Solly<3