Young Writers Society

A FORGIVENESS SONG
W&M: Timothy David Mitchell


Verse:
I can not imagine what it
felt to hang upon the tree and
suffer for me
I can not imagine all the
pain that filled Your heart for why You’re
dying for me

I can not imagine all the
sadness in Your eyes as You look
out and thought of me
And I can not imagine how much
love You have that You would die to
say You love me


Pre-chorus:
I can not imagine what it cost
I can not imagine all the love that You have stored up all for me


Chorus:
What kind of love?
What kind of grace
that You would give it all for me? (x2)


(To start)


Bridge:
You see beyond the real me
You see what others can not see
But You will never stop loving for
for who I am (repeat)


(To chorus)


Copyright © 2011 Timothy David Mitchell.

Hey there, Timothy!

I absolutely love your song and the message that comes with it. I relate to it so much. Very beautiful in that sad kind of way. A nice Good Friday song!

There were a couple things that I noticed as I read this, but they're rather minor. The song itself is very beautiful.

I can not imagine all the
pain that filled Your heart for why You’re
dying for me

The phrasing here is, grammatically, awkward for me! I started to fumble at the bolded part in the sentence, but it could just be a phrasing issue overall.

I can not imagine all the
sadness in Your eyes as You look
out and thought of me

More grammar! This is a case of tense though, and it was rather glaring for me. xD Hopefully making the bolded part past tense won't hurt the rhythm too much?

The title doesn't feel like it connects with the song either. I can certainly tell where the forgiveness comes into play, but it actually feels more like a grace song. I think "What kind of grace" would be a nice title for it or something similar to it. (I think there's a song/hymn out there called that already, but an idea! xD)

I liked this song very much though. Maybe I'm biased... but it was lovely! It was short, simple. I wish I could hear it.

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

I like it and think it is very lyrical--I mean this that the words flow nicely. I'm not quite sure about the structure of the song. By saying

(To start)

did you mean that the first verse repeats itself. That could be a little too repetitive. Try writing a second verse or breaking the first one in two to make the other verse. Overall I thought the song was really good and would like to see more out of you.

The word "Cannot" is one word..you spelled it like this "Can not" which is incorrect.
The song itself wasn't very original and lacked emotion.