Young Writers Society

Hello! This is my first short story that I publish here. It's a letter.


My dearest Kayla,

I've got a lot to tell you but it seems like the time is too jealous and won't let us have the time to talk heart to heart and face to face. But it's okay to me because I already know a bit of your story, it seems like I've known a lot.

I don't have much to say here. I know you've been through hard times that others can't even imagine. To be honest, my childhood wasn't all good and I have no sweet memories too. But you know what? That's what make us different from the others. You're more mature than the others, you think about things that others would never thought of.

You appreciate love and happiness. Those who have a happy family, it's not that I say that they're bad, But sometimes they seems like they have forgotten about the 'hardness' of life.

God never let us go through challenges that is beyond our strength. He know that you're strong enough, and He wanted to shape you into a better person in the future. I want you to believe that, who you are today is just what God want you to be. He works in everything you've been through, and it's for your own good.

And one more thing, to keep moving forward, you'll have to leave your past behind. I'm not saying that you have to forget about your past, what I'm saying is don't let your past 'tied' you up till you can't move on. I believe that you understand what I mean.

We face different challenges everyday, and we'll learn from others( friends, family, teachers) and from our mistakes. Whatever that will happen in your life or had happened, think, and ask God, what is the lesson? What is the moral value from it? And learn from it. Practice it.

Be wise while making a decision, because your decision today will affect your life tomorrow. It's true. Always seek for God's guidance because He knows everything, He's the one where we can find wisdom, and peace too.

Believe in God with all your heart, your might, your thought, and your life. And I pray that you'll find the eternal love, and experience it, and have it.

Ignore the people that hates you. They hate you because they're just jealous of you. You must believe in yourself that you can achieve your dream. Be happy always. Think of other first, before you think about yourself, but also appreciate yourself. So think first before you say something because it might hurt others feeling.

May you'll be filled with wisdom from God, and live in the sea of love( eternal one). I hope that the future will bring you success and happiness in your life.

Love,

Mary.

This story speaks a lot to me. The way you say that you shouldn't care about what people who hate you think about you is and has always been my personal belief, so you've done a good job of interpreting that into writing. Let me just cover a few things:

it's not that i say that they're bad

That I in the middle should be capitalized...

I want you to believe that, Who you are today is just

Why is the W on who capitalized? Did I miss something?

because your decision today will affect your life tomorrow.

Well done! A lot of people get the Affect vs. Effect grammar wrong, but you've used it correctly.

and live in the sea of love ( eternal one)

Get rid of the space in between eternal and the first parentheses. I can't find anything else besides that, so well done! Keep writing.

Thanks for the review. I thought that no one will review this.

Hey there! I see for someone as young as you, you seem to be very understanding. Now that's a very good thing but about the writer in you, you need to work a bit harder. I'm not saying you're bad, you're good but you should read read read! I hope you do?

I've found quite many grammatical mistakes in this piece and I was kinda confused if that's actually the language of the character 'Mary'. But then again, some aspects of her language make her look literate so I settled on them being grammatical mistakes after all.

I've got a lot to tell you but it seems like the time is too jealous...

But it's okay to me because I already know...

"To me" here is redundant.

I know you've been through hard times that others can't even imagine.

To be honest, my childhood wasn't all good and I have no sweet memories either.

That's what makes us different from the others.

...you think about things that others would never have thought of.

Those who have a happy family, it's not that I say that they're bad, but sometimes they seem like they have forgotten about the difficulty of life.

God never lets us go through challenges that is beyond our strength.

He knows that you're strong enough...

I want you to believe that, who you are today is just what God wanted you to be.

I'm not saying that you have to forget about your past, what I'm saying is don't let your past tie you up. till you can't move on.

I believe that you understand what I mean.

Whatever that will happen in your life or had happened...

Whatever had happened in your life or is going to happen

It's true. Always seek for God's guidance because He knows everything...

He's the one where we can find wisdom, and peace too.

It's rather, "We can ask for wisdom from him, and peace too."

And I pray that you'll find the eternal love, and experience it, and have it.

Ignore the people who hate you.

You must believe in yourself to achieve your dream.

Think of others first, before you think about yourself, but also appreciate yourself. So think first before you say something because it might hurt others' feelings.

May you be filled with wisdom from God, and live in the sea of love (eternal one). I hope that the future will bring you success and happiness in your life.

So yeah, you really need to work on your grammar. And if you ever need advice / suggestions or anything, you're more than welcome to ask. That's about it!

- Sam.