z

Young Writers Society


Rachel: Hiding



User avatar
683 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 683
Fri Mar 11, 2005 11:10 pm
Emma says...



Yes, she is back for some more crazy loving fun. If you don't know what I am on about look back to page 2 and three for my other stories on this lovely girl. I hope you enjoy this one!

Its a bright morning, the sun is shinning on the dusty windows, making the run's reflection bounce off the walls and brighten the room like a space hopper. I remember when I was a small kid, I used to always play on my small space hopper, before every one thought I was crazy. I crossed the road on my bright yellow hopper, a car come towards me. It hit me and I fell. It wasn't my fault though, I bet it was the driver calling his girlfriend. I can't remember stuff after that. I'm to scared to go into it. The cute male nurse walks over, I cover my self in the covers, hoping he will turn around and leave me. I can't talk to him now, something is up. I remember when he made me blush after I said I faniced him, the memory comes back I hide my self further and mutter into my self, cursing for what I did wrong. He taps the sheets, it tickles, laughter spills out my mouth. He pulls back the covers, Im getting cold. The sun may have shone brightly in the horrible room but I didn't feel its warmth.

"Your mother is here" He says, his voice calm, relaxing.

I quickly find my covers and cover my self up again, hoping he will go away, this small pain inside my head grows larger, though I know it isn't a headache. I heard about those tumours not long ago, maybe it was one of them. I suddenly cover my self even further once again, suddenly scared if I let my self out of this small bubble this pain will turn into a tumour. My mum walks over to me, she feels the covers until she reaches my painful head, I push her hand away, my hands webbed under the covers like duck's feet. A hear a small cry coming out her mouth, I start to smile. It serves her right, she shoved me in this dump. Just because she said something is wrong with me, that Im mental. I aren't if you are wanting to know. I had alot of friends before, I was liked and wasn't 'crazy' though I am not right now. I just can't understand this. The pain in my head gets sharper I go deeper into my covers, it's getting harder to breathe. I don't care though, as long as I am safe in this bubble which surrounds me. I hear her getting up from the edge of my bed. The doctor comes over, I can hear him speaking to her.

"She will get better, she is just tired." He asures,

My likeness for him drops down, I thought he beleived me, I ain't crazy, like I said so many times. Maybe he is meaning about my headache, though it isn't a headache, its a tumour, or it will be. Yes, thats what he means they are worried about this head thing. I carry on lying underneath my bedcovers, each breath I take makes it harder to breathe for the next one. I try to stop breathing completely though my head gets more sore and I have to breathe again. What if I do go out and I die? I hear more footsteps across the marble floor, the covers that where once covering me up, protecting me is wiped away quickly. I let out a cry and searched for my covers, while my body is lying there still. I start to get scared, what if I do become ill, will I die?
Last edited by Emma on Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.
  





User avatar
1258 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:59 pm
Sam says...



EMMA!!!

quit writing so well!!! I know you asked for comments...but I truthfully can't find any...

the cute nurse guy. niiice
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





Random avatar


Gender: None specified
Points: 1212
Reviews: 241
Sun Mar 13, 2005 1:30 pm
Harley says...



Nice, emz, very nice. I loved the detail, and that whole story about the dude in the car was pretty cool. I liked the nurse idea; he should fall in love with her or something.
  





User avatar
683 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 683
Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:41 pm
Emma says...



Hmmmmm, no! :D

I have something really good, if I have enough comments on it. I really need people to tell me the truth so I will KNOW what to do next time, please help make these better.

Thank you for your help :D
  





User avatar
263 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 263
Mon Mar 14, 2005 6:46 pm
Lollipop says...



Sorry, I'm sending you so many reviews just now. Anyway this is excellent! You're so good at describing and detail. I wish I was as good a storywriter as you. lol bye
  





User avatar
683 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 683
Mon Mar 14, 2005 6:49 pm
Emma says...



Right.... Im no where as near as good as you dear!
  





User avatar
263 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 263
Mon Mar 14, 2005 7:07 pm
Lollipop says...



Yes you are you're really good
  








Education is education. We should learn everything and then choose which path to follow. Education is neither Eastern or Western; it is human.
— Malala