Young Writers Society

lol. Okay, this is Luke, right? Not Jeremy?

Fabulous description on the kissing. Why the hell do guys like to use so much tongue? I'm sure I don't know, a little bit is just fine with me. Amazing amazing I loved it. Love how he's not scared to say "hell" or w.e. It's cute how he just jumped her.

And I don't get why she broke him out either but oh well.

Tiffany sounds familar...was she in the 228 Difference? I never did read all of that. Ah well. It's going nicely, can't wait for more.

hearts and hugs,
Misty

I'm assuming you've written earlier parts that I missed. Anyway. Uh what's the PG-13 rating for? omg there's liek kissing and a hell in it! Naw j/k.

I found it interesting and easy to read. Which is saying something considering I had no idea wtf was going on. Again, it feels like this is just a part of a bigger story. The story drew me in easily and I didn't find it boring.

"spot-white pillow" Umm I don't get your imagery here.

"“’Tis better that way, I think.”

No, it isn’t. I want to say just this, but I dare not."

Why doesn't he dare? He "dared" to say what the hell.

You also need a little more description in the story. I have alot of trouble visualizing it.

Pretty decent effort but you'll definitely want to polish it up.

Thanks!

Ohh..PG-13 'cause the last post was PG-13 so I'm like...what the heck..

Anyway, thanks for reading! A lot of people don't pick up once a story has starting, so I appreciate the comments.

*narrows eyes* I liked it too! ...actually he's right, for-or despite- such a lack of description it's quite easy to visualize. At least I have it all pictured out. The little romance between Liberty and Luke reminds me of Tom and Becky in the adventures of tom sawyer

I REALLY need to read the rest of this, I just don't have time.. Grr. It good, I have no idea why you are good at this sort of stuff. But one day I will steal your talents. YOU JUST WAIT!

One mistake. Hehe, I'm so clever.

she turns around andwalks away,

and walks

Wow. Still great for a 12 yr old, sam, or are you 13? prolly.

~BLUEPEN

P.S. It's Clint

Clint!

Yay!

Thanks...and yeah, it's twelve. But what if I were twenty? Then what would you think about it?

I'm still waiting for more