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Young Writers Society


Halloween on Gore Street



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Gender: None specified
Points: 908
Reviews: 2
Thu Nov 03, 2011 4:22 am
SamiStaletic says...



Oh Romeo, Romeo. Where out thou Romeo?
I wish I could call his name and like a knight with shiny silvery armour, he would ride out from under the starry night and swoop me up onto his white glimmering horse and...
‘Knock, Knock’I woke up suddenly, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. My new Shakespeare book fell with a thud on the glossy wooden floor.
The knocking started up again, this time filled with shrill laughter.
I almost forgot the promise I had made earlier. It was Halloween and I was going trick or treating with friends. Well, Kinda.
Living on an island meant not having that many other kids your age to hang out with... But lucky me my neighbours had four kids. A nine year old girl Tahlia, a set of 12 year old twins; Marli and Kaden and a 13 year old boy Nathan. Letting out a yawn, I stood up off the couch and slumped to the front door. I paused, fixed my shirt and had a look through the chrome peep hole.
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face when I found the little monsters on my footstep giggling away.
Counting to three, I then swung the door open and yelled out “BOO!”
The kids squealed with laughter and after running away they came back swooning over my costume. It was my first Halloween since I was 6 and I was quite exhilarated.
“What are you?” Asked Kaden, touching at my now green hair with excitement.
“I’m a zombie” I pronounced proudly. I asked about all of their costumes, in which they told me the whole story behind it. By the time we headed out into the night of Halloween we had a Witch, a Vampire, a Pirate, a Ghoul and of course The Zombie Chick.

The night was warm and still. Soft screams and far away laughter was all you could hear as the street we were starting in was a couple of kilometres away from the main town. Tahlia grabbed my hand, so I looked at her green face under her black witches’ hat and smiled. The boys went along together so it was just us for the moment.
“Are you excited Sally?” She asked, now skipping in front of me.
“I sure am” I replied, running a little bit to catch up “where are we going first?”
“Here” She giggled and turned into a driveway with a few cars out the front. Walking through the gate I noticed rubbish and beer bottles on the ground and grabbed Tahlia’s hand. Halloween wasn’t so common in Australia, so I didn’t know what to expect. I then relaxed it once I saw the beautiful basket of hard boiled candy.
Letting go, she ran up to the door and knocked. “Trick or Treat” she called into the house, and then skipped back to my side. I smiled at her again and we both laughed.
About a minute later, an elderly man came to answer the door.
“Good evening girls, oh, oh dear! What do we have here!?” Tay laughed, but I couldn’t help blushing with embarrassment. In the back of my mind I was sure I was too old for this, but couldn’t let down the kids. After a friendly Halloween chat, Tahlia and I left the house with a generous bag of hard boiled candy. She turned to me and squealed with more excitement.
“OMG, this is so cool!” She gasped, swining her pillow case around in the air. I nodded in agreement, while sussing out my own small bag of lollies. I breathed in and smiled.
"So Tay Tay, what house do we go to now?" I kept walking, but didn't recieve a reply....

That's all I'm writing as i have currently recieved writers block. I know what will happen but i've sat here staring at this page for quite a while now so...
Eyes, look your last. Arms, take your last embrace and, lips, O you the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
A dateless bargain to engrossing death.
  





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153 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1532
Reviews: 153
Sat Nov 05, 2011 11:17 am
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AngelKnight900 says...



Well to start off, welcome to YWS as I see you're a novice.

You made a mistake on the first line from Romeo and Juliet which will seriously anger ones who are fans of the play.

Oh Romeo, Romeo. Where out thou Romeo?


It's Romeo, Romeo!Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Be careful because making mistakes about other really good books could really piss off some readers. I liked your story till a point. Maybe it's because you stopped at a certain point. Also, I would like to know what the girl looks like a little bit. Plus, if you happened to have writer's block, don't submit it. Save it as a draft or just leave the page and come back to it later. Your story won't go anywhere if you just leave. Well good luck and keep writing.
True confidence leaves no room for jealousy. When you know your are great, you have no need to hate.
-Nicki Minaj
  








I say, in matters of the heart, treat yo' self.
— Donna, Parks & Rec