Hi! I just wanted to know what you thought of this story I wrote. Reviews are appreciated!
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“And the ladybug hugged her parents, knowing they’d always be there for her.” Miss Dee closed my favorite book, and we all started to clap. This story made me happy every time I heard it, because it reminded me of my Mommy and Daddy. They would always read me a book before I went to bed, and this was my favorite.
“Okay boys and girls, it’s time for art! Let’s all head down to the art room! Today, we’re going to be painting!” We had been waiting for our turn to paint ever since we started school. Now that it was late January, we were finally going to paint! Miss Dee said she was waiting until we could be trusted with the paint, and now she trusted us. We all lined up at the door when the phone rang.
“Wait here class.” She ran to answer the phone, while we talked amongst ourselves. “Yes, I can do that. Thanks.” She hung up and looked around the room.
“Class, Samantha and I need to go down to the office.” I started to wonder what they needed me for. I don’t think I did anything bad. “Can I trust you guys to go to the art room by yourselves?” All the other kids nodded and grinned toothless grins.
“Go ahead, and I’ll come check on you in a minute. Okay?” “Yes” echoed around the room. They filed out the door like a snake, leaving me in the wake of their happiness.
“Miss Dee! Why don’t I get to paint with the other kids?” I whined. “Now they all would have painted without me!”
“Don’t worry, you can paint some other time. Go grab your stuff please.” I wandered over to my cubby hole, grabbing my ladybug lunchbox and my pink backpack.
She walked me down the hall, promising me that next class we could paint again so I wouldn’t miss out. I pouted, only half listening. Everybody else would have still painted before I got to. Grandma was waiting at the office when I got there.
“Grandma!” I shouted. I ran into her arms. She hugged me tight for a long time, even though I had already stopped hugging her back. She put me back down and looked at me really sad, but nothing sad was happening right now. Maybe she was sad too, because I didn’t get to paint.
“Why are you here Grandma? Are we gonna go get ice cream?” The first thing Grandma and me always did was go get ice cream. I’d always get chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, and she would always get something called rum raisin.
“No sweetie, we can’t go get ice cream.” Her eyes teared up again. Miss Dee tapped her on the shoulder and they went into the other room. I went to go look at the fish in the tank. They came back and Miss Dee looked upset. She also gave me a hug, then went over to the art room.
“Grandma, I don’t wanna leave. All the other kids are painting right now, and I’m missing it!” She shook her head.
“No, we have to go. I’m sorry Sammy.”
I sat in my car seat in the back of Grandma’s car. We drove through the city, so I thought we might be going out to lunch. But then we pulled up in front of this big building with lots of cars in it. She drove in and we kept driving around in big circles until we pulled in next to a big truck and a car that looked just like ours. We walked up some stairs until we were in a big white hallway. It smelled bad, like soap, Auntie’s hairspray, and smelly flowers. But I liked it a little more when a man walked by carrying a big bunch of balloons. They all said, “Get Well Soon!” and they were sparkly.
“Grandma? Can I have one of those?” She didn’t answer me, because just then Mommy came running down the hallway crying.
“Mommy!” She scooped me up and held me for a really long time. Grandma held her hand too. We walked back to a room with a lot of people in it. When I looked up they were all people I knew. They all heard us come into the room, and they gathered around me, telling me it’ll be okay. I was really confused, so I decided to ask.
“Why is everyone here? Why did I have to leave school?” Everyone went silent, and no one wanted to answer me. Auntie spoke up.
“Well Sammy, your Daddy got into an accident. With his motorcycle.” I squirmed out of Grandma’s arms and walked over to the body on the bed. His head was all bandaged up, and I couldn’t see his face. He looked like one of my dolls when I played Doctor, but this was real, and I cared a lot more about my Daddy than my dolls.
“What’s wrong with him?” I asked. I wasn’t even sure if anyone could hear me, but at this point I didn’t care. I just wanted to know that my Daddy was okay.
“He’s in a coma.” Grandma answered solemnly. I turned to look into the tear-filled eyes of my family.
“What’s that?” I didn’t understand. I didn’t really understand anything that was going on anymore.
“He’s asleep, Samantha. He will be for a long time.”
Eventually, Mommy made me go back to school. Every time Miss Dee asked me if I wanted to paint, I said no. I didn’t want to do anything anymore, especially play Doctor with my dolls.
Nothing was as fun as it used to be, and I wasn’t learning anything in school anymore. Mommy even suggested I take kindergarten again next year. I didn’t care, they’d probably make me take it again the year after that.
Although, I actually did learn something then. I didn’t feel like playing anymore, but I did learn things. I wanted to know if Daddy could hear me, since everyday when we’d go to the hospital, I’d hold his hand and talk to him. I also learned that most people do wake up from comas, and it usually only took a few weeks.
Mommy shook me awake early on a Sunday morning.
“Get up Sammy. Wake up Honey.” She shook me lightly, stirring me from my coma of sleep, like I wish I could do for Daddy. She had an uncertain smile on her face.
“Why are we up so early?” I asked, looking at my flower clock on the wall. She smiled really big this time.
“The hospital called. They say Daddy might wake up today. We’re going to be there when he does.” She didn’t even finish by the time I was out of bed. She got some clothes out for me and I put them on and in under five minutes, I had brushed my teeth and hair, grabbed my coat, and we were off to the hospital.
We pulled into the same spot, I noticed, that Grandma had parked in when we came here that first day. But today was totally different. Instead of being confused, I was thrilled.
We both literally ran into the hospital, and we had the labyrinth of hallways memorized to get to Daddy’s room. We were the first ones in the room, besides the doctors. The bandages had been taken off, and I could see his face. It was a combination of black, blue, and pink, but I could still recognize him under the blend of colors.
Time passed, and the doctors kept checking these beeping machines, and more family members came. There was no news about exactly when Daddy was going to wake up, until around noon. The doctors started bustling around, and all of a sudden, Daddy took a big breath. We all held ours, waiting to see what would happen next.
“Daddy.” I whispered breathlessly. He opened his mouth and made some weird sounds like he was figuring out his mouth again. We held eye contact the whole time, and I noticed he looked kind of confused during all of this, but we finally heard something that sounded like words.
Without breaking eye contact, he said slowly, “Who are you?”
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