“Dad? Can we talk?”
“Uh. Can it wait? I’ve been working on this computer all day, and I just figured out what the problem is. And I need to get it done before I go to work. Shelly at the office--”
“It really can’t wait. It’s something… um… we just need to talk. Dad. Please.”
“… Okay. What’s it about?”
“Just stuff. You know… important stuff. I don’t know. Just stuff.”
“Stuff? You sure it can’t wait?”
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Alright. Talk.”
“Can we sit down somewhere? Like, in the kitchen or something?”
“So it’s gonna be one of those kinds of talks. Haha, alright. How’s this?”
“It’s fine. Whatever. Okay. So.”
“So.”
“So. Haha.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. Maybe? I’m kind of… I dunno. Confused, I guess.”
“Confused about what?”
“Life. Um… I—I don’t really know what to say. I had this all planned out, but it’s not coming to me.”
“Do you want something to drink?”
“What? No, no, I’m fine. I need you to listen. And don’t talk until I’m done talking. Okay?”
“You’re starting to worry me, bud.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t know where to start. Dad, you know I love you, right?”
“You haven’t said it in a while, but I suppose so.”
“Well, I do. I’m sorry that I don’t ever say it. It’s just weird to me. But, whatever. So, you love me, right?”
“There are sometimes I do more than others, but for the most part, yes.”
“Dad, really. Just stop joking for a second.”
“Alright, alright! Sorry. Go on.”
“You and Mom have been amazing parents. You guys have done everything right, and I love you guys. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a little over a year now about this, but I’ve always been too afraid. I know, it’s dumb. But it’s really not. Dad, you’ve always told me that you wanted me to be whoever I wanted to be. You let me drop baseball because I hated it. You don’t force me to watch football with you on game days. You let me do whatever I want because it’s how I am, right?”
“Right.”
“I know that you wanted a better son than me. I mean, you have two other daughters and I was your last hope for the ideal son. And I mean it when I say I’m sorry for being such a let-down.”
“You’ve never been a let-down. Never. Sure, I wanted a kid I could throw a ball around with, but God gave me you. And I’m so glad he did.”
“Dad. I’m gay.”
“Gay?”
“Yeah. I—I don’t know what else to say. Other than I know that I am. I know it’s not right for people to feel this way, but it is right for me. I know it is, Dad.”
“You’re not gay.”
“Yes, Dad. I am. I’ve felt that way a long time, and I don’t want to have to keep this a secret between us anymore.”
“You’re not gay, Ryan! What about Stephanie last year? You guys dated for three months.”
“I know. I know, Dad. It was because I was so confused, and I wanted to see if I could ever like a girl like that. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t right. I know how this must seem to you. But I’m not any different than I was—”
“What the hell, Ryan?”
“…What?”
“Why would you keep this from us?”
“I—I told you! This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done—”
“I don’t care! Ryan, if you would’ve told us you had these feelings a year ago, we could’ve gotten you help!”
“Help?”
“Yes. Help.”
“I don’t want help. Dad, I want to be whoever I want to be! You’ve always supported that!”
“Before you told me you were a fag!”
“Dad!”
“Tell me you have not done anything!”
“What?”
“Tell me you have not done anything with any other boy!”
“I—I—”
“Damn it, Ryan! Who? And when?”
“Dad, please sit down. Please. I know this is hard for you to accept. You don’t think it was hard for me?! Please don’t yell anymore. Please, Dad. Please.”
“I can’t believe this. God did not create men and women this way. Do you not understand that? Men are supposed to be with women. God made Adam and Eve for a reason, Ryan.”
“I know, I know, I know! This wasn’t my choice! I didn’t choose to feel this way! I just do!”
“No one is born gay! God would never make people born that way. That is totally contradicting His plan!”
“Please listen to me, Dad. Please! I know that this goes against everything I’ve been taught and church! I know that. But I cannot and will not hide anymore. I’ve hid my entire life, and I can’t take it anymore. You don’t think I understand that I’m a sinner? That people will hate me? You don’t think I’ll get bullied at school for being the way I am? But I cannot change. I will not change. All I want is for you to accept me and support me.”
“I will never support gays. And as long as you live under my roof, you won’t support them either.”
“What? Dad, I’m gay!”
“We can get you help. The church has facilities.”
“I don’t want help, Dad! I’m perfectly happy the way I am. I thought you would accept me! I would never have told you this if I knew you were gonna act this way!”
“I tolerate a lot in this household. But I will not tolerate this. My son will not be a fag.”
“I thought you loved me.”
“I do love you. That’s why we’re getting you help.”
“You can’t change me. You never will. If I have to obey your rules because I live under your roof, then I’m getting out.”
“No. You’re not. You’re going to sit here will we talk this over with your mother when she gets home. This is unacceptable. What will people think, Ryan? Did you ever stop to think of that? What? You’re not going to talk now? Fine. I want you to sit here and think about the choice you’ve made and how it’s going to affect your life. I want to get you help because I love you. I don’t want to you die and not be able to go to heaven because you decided you wanted to have sex with a man instead of a woman. We’re going to get you the help you need. Jesus, Ryan. I thought I knew you.”
Gender:
Points: 7740
Reviews: 713