Young Writers Society

Hey all I only joined today, and ive been inspired by some of the writing here, so i've written this introduction to a possible storyline and I was wondering what you guys thought of it It took about half an hour to write this, let alone think it up on top of my head.

Critical claims accepted, positive or negative as usual. Enjoy


Sam woke up, Staring at the ceiling.
“Great, another average boring day in the life of Samuel” Moaned the grumpy teenager. Sam was fourteen, typically keen to sleep in. Extending his arm, Sam smoothly spun round his alarm clock, that was facing the opposite direction. It was half one in the afternoon, Not too bad.
Sam wrapped his bed sheet tighter around him, closing his eyes. It was the summer holidays at the moment so it was OK to sleep in. Staying up so late wasn't usual for Sam, but the offer to the party he went to last night he couldn't refuse. Sophie, the girl he had longed to be with ever since he met her years ago, was going to be there. She never showed up, however, which Sam took personally. He had the constant paranoid thought that maybe she was avoiding him.
'Don't be so stupid' Sam kept telling himself 'She didn't come, her loss. It was fun either way'. Feeling reassured, he got out of bed.

Turning on the TV and switching to the news, Sam was reminded he was a World affairs nut. He couldn't wake up properly before he knew what was going on around the world. The usual beautiful reporter was on the screen, and as usual, with a grave look on her face.

“ The president of Russia has announced his plans to expand the Russian empire through military force. Further details will be delivered as soon as they arrive. American officials say they will respond to such actions as diplomatically as possible”

Sam couldn't piece together what the Russian empire needed. Russia is big enough on it's own, why do they want to expand? Power? Greed? Oil? World dominance? None of it made sense, But hopefully it will be explained soon enough.

Embarrassed, Sam realised he was stood up in the living room with nothing but his boxer shorts on, remote control in hand, gaping at the Television. One thing is forgetting your best friends birthday, but forgetting to get dressed was desperate.
Speeding upstairs, he could hear the faint sound of snoring. At least his parents weren't about to get up to their son standing half naked watching TV any time soon.


Fully dressed, the advertisements where displayed on the television when he got back. The usual stuff, loan offers, car insurance, financial advice, price comparison sites. Soon enough the news returned to the screen.

“Breaking news now this afternoon. The russian president has just released a statement saying his nation has been disgraced through the past years humiliations, and says word by word that 'The russian empire will once again show its strength, We are not to be underestimated, and we are not to be mistaken as weak, and we will not stand down'”

Hmm. Not Entirely sure where this is going. It's a good start to whatever it will be, very up-to-date with world news, though, and I like that. the term "OK" bugs me, but that's just what I do. "Okay" works out better for me though, but it is your choice. I felt that you used Sam's name too much in the first few paragraphs, but again, that's just my opinion, it is your choice. But other than those few things, I really enjoyed it since it was more updated than most stories. Keep writing!

Kaida_Wynd wrote:Hmm. Not Entirely sure where this is going. It's a good start to whatever it will be, very up-to-date with world news, though, and I like that. the term "OK" bugs me, but that's just what I do. "Okay" works out better for me though, but it is your choice. I felt that you used Sam's name too much in the first few paragraphs, but again, that's just my opinion, it is your choice. But other than those few things, I really enjoyed it since it was more updated than most stories. Keep writing!

Well i can easily change OK to Okay in a heartbeat if thats what you'de prefer. Maybe i should write more if your not sure where its going (which I plan to do) And fair enough if i need to use different terms instead of the characters name, thats my weakness i guess

It ties in with the Russia - Georgia conflict. I can't imagine russia feeling great about backing down from a conflict... So i guess yeah it is up to date

Thank you for your response mate

im not sure what this story is going to be about either
it doesnt really reveal a plot

also it made me feel as if you were asking questions that you didn't know almost as if you were in a classroom.

like when you said:

Sam couldn't piece together what the Russian empire needed. Russia is big enough on it's own, why do they want to expand? Power? Greed? Oil? World dominance? None of it made sense, But hopefully it will be explained soon enough.

it made me want to answer your question, i still want to answer your question.

also is the story going to be about the news or about the girlfriend because you mentioned both so that they stood out

always put tme into your stories and if you just came up with it dont post it right away because it may be better to wait and plan out your story a bit that way you have a place to start and will keep readers interested

have fun exploring YWS
and if you want me to review anything else
just ask or PM me Id be glad to help