Young Writers Society

*A random story that I wrote on the fly. I don't have any sort of grammar check, so there may be some pesky errors on here. Though, the spelling should be spot on.*

Pursuing Death

In the distance the sun was beginning to migrate to the Eastern side of the world; or perhaps it was only fleeing. The police car roared like a lion as it sliced through the rush hour traffic. The siren shrieked like a mad woman. Buildings that extended their necks to the sky whipped by in blurs. The Twin Towers loomed in the distance.

"Blast! That thing sure is fast!" officer Bane shouted as he swerved around a station wagon. He could feel cold sweat trickle down his face. His heart beat in his throat.

"No kiddin!" Officer Smith said, leaning out the window, taking aim at the tires of the blue car that they were pursuing. The gun shots boomed like firecrackers. The criminal's car sped up at such a tremendous velocity that it was almost a blur.

Officer Bane gritted his teeth as all the bullets struck asphalt, missing their marks. Bane shook his head. His nephew Oliver had only passed his targeting test by a hair. A lot of kids have been drafted for this New World Police Government Program. His mouth gaped open when a masked man popped up on the sun roof, brandishing a scoped rifle.

"Look out!" Office Bane said as the sniper took aim. Suddenly the bullet struck the windshield and it spider-webbed around a gaping hole, and the backseat rumpled as the bullet sliced through it.

"My God!" Officer Bane gasped, "Those guys are desperately trying to get away from us!"

"Yeah," Oliver replied, "a desperate criminal is the most dangerous species; but they didn't have to be criminals in the first place. I guess they never heard of jobs before they robbed that bank. Funny how nobody was really hurt," Oliver paused. "You know, I think deep down inside those fellas are nice people."

Bane smiled. Oliver had the gift of lightening the mood. Bane needed that. The past few months had been the hardest for him in all his life. His wife had divorced him and taken custody of the kids. All for something he did not commit. But her 'convincing' her lawyer to do everything in his power to make sure she won the case had left him with nothing. Funny how they didn't share the same lawyer. He imagined they were having a lot of 'fun' right now.

Bane swerved around a large pick up truck. The driver glanced at him and then slammed on the brakes. The truck's tires squealed like wild animals as it ground to a stop. Vapor fumed under the truck. Small cars frantically spun out behind it.

The cars radio squawked. "Bane! I need to you to catch up to that car and-" an Officer was barking over the radio before his voice was abruptly cut off by a gun shot.

Bane Cringed. He eyed the sniper as he took aim again. Who is he targeting? Bane glanced in the rear view mirror and saw his grim looking black haired twin gazing at him from it's depth. Bane looked like man staring at death. A bullet tore through his twins head, knocking the mirror off, spraying shards of glass. The back window shattered as the bullet exited.

"They don't pay us enough for this!" said the voice over the radio.

Bane did not bother responding. All of his focus was on the sniper who was steadying his rifle. With the setting sun bathing him in its radiance he looked like an angel. The angel of death.

Suddenly the right half of the windshield imploded and Oliver's skull exploded in a shower of bone as a red mist bloomed where his head was. Bane trembled as the warm blood splashed his face. Gore caked the seat and passengers side window.

Officer Bane screamed in anguish as tears furiously rushed down his cheeks like waterfalls. His heart began to beat with a new ferocity. No matter how hard he tried he could still see his dead partner in his peripheral vision. With a twitching hand he reached for the radio.

He fumbled with it, missing the button to connect to another officer. "Two Mike Two, we have an officer down!" he managed to choke out.

"Five Mike Five, what's his status?" came the voice.

Keeping his eyes on the sniper in front of him, Bane harshly said, "He's dead."

"Bane, I don't know what to say. I.. I know how close you were to that kid."

"He was my nephew," Bane said. There was silence over the radio. For the span of what seemed like an eternity the world had died for Bane. The noise of the cars around him were all but whispers. A police car screaming like a banshee woke him up.

Two more squad cars swept by him in flashes of red and blue. There was a faint crack in the air and one of the cars spun out. As it skidded it slid into the opposite lane and it's front end was rammed by a truck. With a resounding scrunch it flipped end over end down and rolled toward Bane.

He madly swerved to the right. Oliver's decapitated corpse smacked against the window with a sickening squish.

"That son a-" a voice roared before it was silenced by a cracking sound.

"Shoot the bastard!" yelled the voice.

In the skies to the north a colossal whale sized jumbo jet careened in between the Twin Towers. A fiery flower bloomed as it penetrated one of the buildings. A plume of smoke erupted from it. Lingering like a phantom.

"Mother of God!" Bane yelled. He stomped on the accelerator, cutting through the slower traffic like a knife through butter. Is this the end? Are we under attack?

"Did you see that!?" a voice shrilled over the radio.

Bane looked out at the rear-view mirror. The gray phantom of ash was descending upon the New York populace. A high ranking Law Enforcement Commander came over the radio, asking Officers to go to the scene of the heinous terrorist act.

"I'm l-leaving the ch-chase! I'm going t-to check out the Towers!" came a stammering voice over the radio.

Feeling the urge to go to the Towers Bane prepared to throw his car into a U turn. The sight of his headless nephew sent a surge of remorse through his veins. It was more powerful than the adrenaline that was prefusively being pumped through his body. Bane leered at the blue car he and his fellow brothers of law enforcement were pursuing. As he neared the scums he upholstered his gun with a hand. He was now only three cars lengths away. With one hand on the steering wheel he aimed his gun out the window.

It was hard for him to steady the gun as the wind whipped his arm around, threatening to knock the gun away. How is that sniper able to move that thing around? He's no sniper, he's the... the bloody Devil himself. He pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back in his hand.

He swore when the sniper showed no sign of being hit. But he did seem more wary now. Bane's heart skipped a beat when he felt the sniper home in on him. Just before he seemed ready to squeeze the trigger he disappeared into the car like a prairie dog hiding from an eagle.

When a shot rang out from a police car Bane Knew why. The man was a master. How else could he have kept an eye on both his target and his surroundings? With a pang of revulsion Bane knew that unless the criminals gave up peacefully they would have to be stopped... one way or another.

Bane had never killed a man, and he had no desire to. Though, he had come close many times. How could he keep such a memory embedded in his mind forever? He mentally slapped himself. What had he expected when the new law was passed that drafted both men and woman as members of the New World Police?

A bridge materialized in the distance like a serpent stretching over the abyss. The cat chase had been going on for ages. No, not a cat chase. We are chasing the panthers. A mere twenty breaths later Bane was driving over the bridge. KA-THUMP, KA-THUMP, KA-THUMP. The road beat with his heart. Behind him another explosive wind echoed. Was the other tower hit?

Any input would be highly appreciated.

Yo,
nice story. Or rather, first part of story:) It was obviously written in one breath, as the milions of mechanical mistakes show hehe. A spontaneous outburst of action fiction. Nevertheless, I will treat it as if it's meant for publication.

"Blast! That thing sure is fast!" Officer Bane said as he swerved around a station wagon. He could feel cold sweat trickle down his face. His heart beating in his throat. - The officer is with a small 'o'. Either merge the sentences concerning the cold sweat and the heart in the throat, or change the tense if you leave it as a separate sentence - His heart beat in his throat.

an Officer was barking over the radio before his voice was abruptly cut off by a gun shot - another officer with a small 'o'

Two Mike Two, We have an Officer Down!" he managed to choke out. - the 'w', the 'o', the 'd'...

I see you are experimenting with metaphors:
The police car roared like a lion as it sliced through the rush hour traffic.
The siren shrieked like a mad woman.
The gun shots boomed like firecrackers.
A police car screaming like a banshee woke him up
Just before he seemed ready to squeeze the trigger he disappeared into the car like a prairie dog hiding from an eagle.
The trucks tires squealed like wild animals
/Vapor fumed from them./ - the 'from them' weakens the imagery. Something else instead of 'from them'.
...can't give much advice here - I myself still don't feel ready to use much metaphors, they all sound awkward to me. You be careful too, one can get carried away.

blue car sped up at such a tremendous velocity that it was almost a blur. - the police car? Then in who'se eyes was it a blur? The pedestrians? You must be careful at all time from whose point of view things are shown.

His mouth gaped open when a masked man popped up on the sun roof, brandishing a scoped rifle - where's that? On the getaway car? How does the nephew come in? You have to spell out that he is sitting next to Bane. Likewise, since this is an action story, saying both names of the nephew is too official. Say one name, then let us find out the surname when Bane shouts later into the radio about an officer down.

Suddenly the bullet struck the windshield and it spider-webbed around a gaping hole. The backseat rumpled as the bullet sliced through it. - It's supposed to be one continuous event, not two separate ones. Try to merge it into one dynamic event.
As is this - A bullet tore through his twins head, knocking the mirror off. The back window shattered as the bullet exited.
Good imagery, how about adding shards of glass.

"My God!" Officer Bane gasped, "Those guys are desperately trying to get away from us!"
"Yeah," Oliver replied, "a desperate criminal is the most dangerous. - a conversation like from a '50's comic book. Nice and naive, but not really corresponding to the atmosphere of the story.

The past few months had been the hardest for him. - as in the hardest in his life? In the past year? Or just had been pretty hard on him?

But her 'convincing' her lawyer to do everything in his power to make sure she won the case had left him with nothing. Funny how they didn't share the same lawyer. - heh, what do you mean 'convincing'? Are you insinuating something? If you are - at least another hint please.

concerning the car manuevers
Officer Bane said as he swerved around a station wagon /just Bane. This is not the situation for 'officer'/
Officer Bane swerved around a large pick up truck /just Bane. This is not the situation for 'officer'/
As it skidded it slid into the opposite lane and its front end was rammed by a truck
One gets the impressions that there are only heavy bulky vehicles everywhere, except for the police cars, and the getaway car. Perhaps you can dillute the trucks and wagons by adding 2 - 3 brief descriptions of ordirnary cars. And a building or two whizzing past, just to add some more objects to help the reader subconsiously the mental image of the story.

"They don't pay us enough for these things!" said the voice over the radio. - the 'these things' is problematic. Either 'for this', or 'for this shit', or something.

"Officer Bane, I don't know what to say. - just Bane. This is not the situation for 'officer'

"He's my nephew," Officer Bane, - just Bane. This is not the situation for 'officer'

As he neared the criminals he upholstered his gun with a hand. - 'the criminals' is too official, breaks the rhythm. 'the getaway car', or 'the bastards' or something. And how much did he near it? You need about two sentences within the story which describe how near he is in the beginning, and how the distance changes. Upholstering a gun I suppose would mean covering it with leather or something:)

With one hand on the steering wheel he aimed his gun out the window it the other. - this sentence can end with 'window'

How is that monster able to move that thing around?- an educated guess is that you mean the sniper rifle of the bank robber. But you have to spell it out.

He gritted his teeth when the sniper showed no sign of being hit. People grit their teeth far too much in this text:)

But he did seem more wary. - 'now'
Bane's eyes bulged open when the sniper homed in on him. - no need for 'open'.Anyway, since we are now seeing things from Bane's perspective, his yes don't have to bulge - that's for other's to see. Perhaps his ehart skipped a beat?
Also Bane can't know that the sniper has homed in on him. But I suppose he can 'feel the sniper homing in on him'

When a shot rang out from a police car Bane Knew why. The man was a master. How is could he have kept an eye on both his target and his surroundings? With a pang of revulsion Bane knew that unless the criminals gave up peacefully they would have to be stopped... on way or another. - here we're back to the '50's comic book. I would think it's too late for a pang of revulsion. Bane is covered in the brains of his nephew, etc., friends officers are down. He should rather be in a red murder mist by now, unless he is a Buddhist, and if he is, you have to spell it out.

Bane had never killed a man, and he had no desire to. How would he be able to live with blood on his hand. He mentally slapped himself. What had he expected when the new law was passed that drafted both men and woman as members of the New World Police? - the blood on hands is a cliche which should be used for humorous effect only I think. The introduction of the drafting and the near future stuff is slightly awkward. Perhaps we should be fed that in the beginning, or piece by piece as the story progresses.

To summarize - a nice breathless chase scene, need some restructuring to not set off 'awkwardness alarms'

A 50's comic?

Never read one of those, but I was aiming for cheesy one liners.

Hey,
from this point of view, this can become an excellent absurdist piece.
If after every event or word the main protagonists /or anyone else/ grits his teeth, knits his brows and clenches his fist; if every maneuver is to swerve around a truck; and every thought and sentence begins with 'damn!'... It would be fantastic.
And if all the metaphores are reduced to 'screamed like a banshee' (the tires screamed like banshees, the bullets whizzed by like screaming banshees, the sound of torn metal was like the scream of a banshee, etc.);
damn, the possibilities are endless, thought napalmerski gritting his teeth and knitting his brows. With clenched fists he pounded the keyboard, the plastic screaming in protest like a banshee.
In fact, if you give me the green light, I would be honored to co-author an absurdist version of this piece.

Well, I've digested the absurdist idea, and decided to apply it to my own biblical project. This is the missing element. I wondered what I needed to make it click. This is it. Haha! Thanks for inspiring me AspiringAuthor

Sure, I'd be a co-author. Sharing two heads is better than one.

Hello Gabriel! Ben here, I'll give you a little jot down of what I think of your piece, in *hmm* red italics I think, haven't used red in a while... ;P

AspiringAuthorA..M. wrote:

Pursuing Death Interesting, grabbing title.

In the distance the sun was beginning to migrate to the Eastern side of the world. Quite a comical start, I don't know if that was intentional but the word "migrate" made me laugh. Or perhaps it was only fleeing. You should end the first line with a semi-colon when structuring an alternative following sentence afterward. It flows better. The police car roared like a lion as it sliced through the rush hour traffic. This is a big change in mood from the sun 'migrating... or perhaps... only fleeing' to a screech, but hey, it's easily fixed with a little more elaboration on setting - obviously not too much so its an info-dump, but probably beneficial with a little more... The siren shrieked like a mad woman. Comical, and descriptive. Buildings that extended their necks to the sky whipped by in blurs. I love the originality that can make a situation like this seem comical. Obviously it's not in a bad way because I haven't lost interest, so it was a good opening paragraph *thumbs up*.

"Blast! That thing sure is fast!" (<- good dialogue) Officer Bane shouted / exclaimed / cried said as he swerved around a station wagon. See how the "said" is replaced, it works better with the "!" in the dialogue He could feel cold sweat trickle down his face. His heart beat in his throat. Love the character description, atmosphere's getting a little more tense-focused now and less comic.

"No kiddin!" Officer Smith [said], leaning out the window, taking aim at the tires of the blue car that they were pursuing. Good, unhurried plot development with good dialogue that sets up your two officer characters. Again, not sure about "said" following an "!"... The gun shots boomed like firecrackers. Love it. The criminal's car sped up at such a tremendous velocity that it was almost a blur. Brilliant description and imagery.

Officer Bane gritted his teeth as all the bullets struck asphalt, missing their marks. I love how you've shown that frustration through the character!Bane shook his head. Character friction/relationship is coming around here and kept implicit. *thumbs up* His nephew Oliver had only passed his targeting test by a hair. A lot of kids have been drafted for this New World Police Government Program. Like that bit'a backgrounding. His mouth gaped open when a masked man popped up on the sun roof, brandishing a scoped rifle. Haha, its like a comical chase, but serious at the same time. Seen The Watchmen? It's like that . Still haven't lost interest so your writing is confident and well-sustained. Well done.

"Look out!" Office Bane [said] as the sniper took aim. Brilliant, I love these two characters already and I know nothing about them except their actions in a high speed chase! Very well crafted. Suddenly the bullet struck the windshield and it spider-webbed around a gaping hole, and the backseat rumpled as the bullet sliced through it. That was like a slow motion shot kind of thing, which again, sounds comical, but ingenious . I like the originality of it all.

"My God!" Officer Bane (gasped) - Brilliant! That's better!, "Those guys are desperately trying to get away from us!" xD

"Yeah," Oliver replied, "A desperate criminal is always the most dangerous; but they didn't have to be criminals in the first place. I guess they never heard of jobs before they robbed that bank. Funny how nobody was really hurt," Oliver paused. "You know, I think deep down inside those fellas are nice people." Haha! Loving Oliver's little monologue moment in the middle of a high speed chase, its rather funny! This would make a brilliant action comedy! ~~ Just notice a couple of grammar and word suggestions here.

Bane smiled. Oliver had the gift of lightening the mood. Bane needed that. Good short shots of feelings and tellings, almost rhythmic and it gets the reader reading onward. The past few months had been the hardest for him in all his life. Character development is good, but perhaps introduce the details later on when they're not in a high speed chase, especially if you plan to write more of this. It doesn't fit the atmosphere otherwise... [His wife had divorced him and taken custody of the kids. All for something he did not commit. But her 'convincing' her lawyer to do everything in his power to make sure she won the case had left him with nothing. Funny how they didn't share the same lawyer. He imagined they were having a lot of 'fun' right now. ] - I think this would fit better at a time of less action, but that might just be me. It seemse you'll jump from one atmosphere to the other otherwise and you might lose readers from it.

Bane swerved around a large pick up truck. The driver glanced at him and then slammed on the brakes. Brilliant writing and showing of the chase. The trucks tires squealed like wild animals as it ground to a stop, vapor fumed. "Vapor fumed" should have it's own sentence I think. Small cars frantically spun out behind it. Love it! Especially the choice of the word "frantically".

The cars radio squawked. "Bane! I need to you to catch up to that car and-" an Officer was barking over the radio before his voice was abruptly cut off by a gun shot. Tension but a totally "haha-moment" if you know what I mean. It's one of those classic, almost slapstick images.

Bane cringed. He eyed the sniper as he took aim again. This is an interesting pov of character. Who was he targeting? Good, I like rhetorical questions, even better when we're inside the character's head. Bane glanced in the rear view mirror and saw his grim looking black haired twin gazing at him from its depth. A bullet tore through his twins head, knocking the mirror off, spraying shards of glass. The back window shattered as the bullet exited. Is the twin in another car? A little confused here, despite the description being top-notch.

"They don't pay us enough for this!" said the voice over the radio. Just classic!

Bane did not bother responding. All of his focus was on the sniper who was steadying his rifle. Tension's taking over and it's increasingly gripping, I think you're sucking me in! With the setting sun bathing him in its radiance (Brill word) he looked like an angel. The angel of death. LOVE IT! That's the kind of mystery and metaphorical thought I love to see and in italics the affect carried is twice as powerful. Beautiful line.

[Suddenly] (I don't think this word should be used more than once in an entire book just a personal nitpick) the right half of the windshield imploded and Oliver's skull exploded in a shower of bone as a red mist bloomed where his head was. Aw. I liked him - can't say it didn't sound funny though and by the way, you have a knack for making things sound gory, but in the sense that it's graphic-novel gore, you know? Bane trembled as the warm blood splashed his face. Lovely... lol. Gore caked the seat and passengers side window. "caked" has bought back that comical uniqueness.

Officer Bane screamed in anguish as tears furiously rushed down his cheeks like waterfalls. That's a serious and brilliant line, the change of mood doesn't matter because we're drawn to Bane from the start. His heart began to beat with a new ferocity. Love the refreshment of his heart as a referance. No matter how hard he tried he could still see his dead partner in his peripheral vision. Good sense of atmosphere. With a twitching hand he reached for the radio. I like that, but you should say something about him not taking his attention away from the sniper, to keep the bad guys in the flow of things.

He fumbled with it, missing the button to the button to connect to another officer. "Two Mike Two, we have an officer down!" he managed to choke out. Good character portrayal and fluency.

"Five Mike Five, what's his status?" came the voice. I like how you've kept the voice simple and haven't tried to label a name or describe it.

Keeping his eyes on the sniper in front of him, Bane harshly said, "He's dead." Good, but perhaps "blunt" might've worked better than "harsh"? Just a suggestion.

"Bane, I don't know what to say. I.. I know how close you were to that kid." Shows an implicit relation to the "voice" which I like.

"He's my nephew," Bane said. There was silence over the radio. And then the personal relation is diminished, which I find curiously enticing. For the span of what seemed like an eternity the world had died for Bane. beautifully told. The noise of the cars around him were all but whispers. A police car screaming like a banshee woke him up. Love it, I think a semi colon would work better at the end of the previous sentence to make it more fluent though.

Okay, my overall thoughts. (I did read the rest, I just didn't want to repeat stuff you would've just got re-types of "Love it" and "Original!" XD)

Anyway, I think there's the odd sentence variation you could achieve with a semi colon here and there, I think I pointed out 2 possibilities.

I love the story as a whole, I think its got a beautifully comical originality to it.

I think that the beginning needs a touch of work as it's a little jumpy and uncontrolled.

I adore the character development in this short piece and can't help but be jealous of how good you are at crafting their personalities through actions.

And the dialogue is fabulous!

~Keep up the good work,
Ben

Oh, I love the Watchmen movie.

I had no idea it seemed like it though. I was just going for an old fashioned chase scene. Hm... continuation. I guess I'll look into it.

Well, I hope the review helped all the same

Yo, here it is!
If you like it - just say that I'm a co-author and slap it somewhere:)

***

Pursuing Death

In the distance the sun was beginning to migrate to the Eastern side of the world; or perhaps it was only fleeing. The police car roared like a hungry banshee as it sliced through the rush hour traffic. The siren shrieked like a mad banshee. Buildings that extended their necks to the sky whizzed by in blurs. The Twin Towers loomed in the distance.
"Blast! That thing sure is fast!" officer Bane shouted as he swerved around a truck. He could feel cold sweat trickle down his face. His heart beat in his throat.
"No kiddin!" Officer Smith said, leaning out the window, taking aim at the tires of the blue car that they were pursuing. The gun shots boomed sharply like the call of an angry banshee. The criminal's car sped at such a tremendous velocity that it was almost a blur.
Officer Bane gritted his teeth as all the bullets struck asphalt, missing their marks. Bane shook his head. His nephew Oliver had only passed his targeting test by a hair. A lot of kids have been drafted for this New World Police Government Program. His mouth gaped open when a masked man popped up on the sun roof, brandishing a scoped rifle.
"Look out!" Office Bane said as the sniper took aim. Suddenly the bullet struck the windshield and it spider-webbed around a gaping hole, and the backseat rumpled as the bullet sliced through it.
"My God!" Officer Bane gritted his teeth, "Those guys are desperately trying to get away from us!"
"Yeah," Oliver replied with a frown, "a desperate criminal is the most dangerous species; but they didn't have to be criminals in the first place. I guess they never heard of jobs before they robbed that bank. Funny how nobody was really hurt," Oliver paused. "You know, I think deep down inside those fellas are nice people."
Bane smiled. Oliver had the gift of lightening the mood. Bane needed that. The past few months had been the hardest for him in all his life. His wife had divorced him and taken custody of the kids. All for something he did not commit. Bane gritted his teeth and frowned. But her 'convincing' her lawyer to do everything in his power to make sure she won the case had left him with nothing. Funny how they didn't share the same lawyer. He imagined they were having a lot of 'fun' right now.
Bane gritted his teeth and swerved around a large truck. The driver glanced at him and then slammed on the brakes. The truck's tires squealed like wild banshees as it ground to a stop. Vapor fumed under the truck. Small cars frantically spun out of control behind it. Cold sweat trickled down Bane's face.
The cars radio squawked. "Bane! I need to you to catch up to that car and-" an officer was barking over the radio before his voice was abruptly cut off by a gun shot.
Bane gritted his teeth with a frown. He eyed the sniper as he took aim again. Who is he targeting? Bane glanced in the rear view mirror and saw his grim looking black haired twin gazing at him from its depth. Bane looked like man staring at death. A bullet tore through his twin's head, knocking the mirror off, spraying shards of glass. The back window shattered as the bullet exited.
"They don't pay us enough for this!" said the voice over the radio.
Bane did not bother responding. He frowned and gritted his teeth. All of his focus was on the sniper who was steadying his rifle. With the setting sun bathing him in its radiance he looked like an angel. The angel of death. Bane felt cold sweat trickle down his face
Suddenly the right half of the windshield imploded and Oliver's skull exploded in a shower of brain matter as a red mist bloomed where his head was. Bane frowned and gritted his teeth, as the warm blood splashed his face. Gore caked the seat and passengers side window.
Officer Bane screamed in anguish as tears furiously rushed down his cheeks like waterfalls. His heart began to beat with a new ferocity. No matter how hard he tried he could still see his dead partner in his peripheral vision. With a twitching hand he reached for the radio.
He fumbled with it, missing the button to connect to another officer. "Two Mike Two, we have an officer down!" he managed to choke out.
"Five Mike Five, what's his status?" came the voice.
Keeping his eyes on the sniper in front of him, gritting his teeth, Bane harshly said, "He's dead."
"Bane, I don't know what to say. I.. I know how close you were to that kid."
"He was my nephew," Bane said with a frown. There was silence over the radio. For the span of what seemed like an eternity the world had died for Bane. The noise of the cars around him were all but whispers. A police car screaming like a banshee woke him up.
Two more squad cars swept by him in flashes of red and blue. There was a faint crack in the air and one of the cars spun out of control. As it skidded it slid into the opposite lane and it's front end was rammed by a truck. With a resounding crunch it flipped end over end down and rolled toward Bane.
He madly swerved around a truck. Oliver's decapitated corpse smacked against the window with a sickening squish. Bane frowned and gritted his teeth.
"That son a-" a voice roared before it was silenced by a cracking sound.
"Shoot the bastard!" yelled the voice.
In the skies to the north a colossal whale sized jumbo jet careened in between the Twin Towers. A fiery flower bloomed as it penetrated one of the buildings. A plume of smoke erupted from it. Lingering like a phantom.
"Mother of God!" Bane yelled. Cold sweat trickled down his face. He stomped on the accelerator, cutting through the slower traffic like a knife through butter, swerving around a truck. Is this the end? Are we under attack?
"Did you see that!?" a voice shrilled over the radio.
Bane looked out at the rear-view mirror. The gray phantom of ash was descending upon the New York populace. A high ranking Law Enforcement Commander came over the radio, asking officers to go to the scene of the heinous terrorist act.
"I'm l-leaving the ch-chase! I'm going t-to check out the Towers!" came a stammering voice over the radio.
Feeling the same urge to go to the Towers Bane prepared to throw his car into a U turn. The sight of his headless nephew sent a surge of remorse through his veins. It was more powerful than the adrenaline that was prefusively being pumped through his body. Bane frowned at the blue car he and his fellow brothers of law enforcement were pursuing. As he neared the scum he whipped out his gun and gritted his teeth. He was now only three cars lengths away. With one hand on the steering wheel he aimed his gun out the window.
It was hard for him to steady the gun as the wind whipped his arm around, threatening to knock the gun away. The wind screamed like a banshee. How is that sniper able to move that thing around? He's no sniper, he's the... the bloody Devil himself. He pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back in his hand.
He swore when the sniper showed no sign of being hit. But he did seem more wary now. Bane could feel cold sweat trickle down his face, as he felt the sniper home in on him. Just before he seemed ready to squeeze the trigger he disappeared into the car like a banshee hiding in a swamp.
When a shot rang out from a police car, Bane knew why. The man was a master. How else could he have kept an eye on both his target and his surroundings? With a pang of revulsion Bane knew that unless the criminals gave up peacefully they would have to be stopped... one way or another. Bane frowned and gritted his teeth. He had never killed a man, and he had no desire to. Though, he had come close many times. How could he keep such a memory embedded in his mind forever? He mentally slapped himself. What had he expected when the new law was passed that drafted both men and woman as members of the New World Police?
A bridge materialized in the distance like a serpent stretching over the abyss. The cat chase had been going on for ages. No, not a cat chase. We are chasing the panthers. Bane swerved around a truck and a mere twenty breaths later was driving over the bridge. KA-THUMP, KA-THUMP, KA-THUMP. The road beat with his heart. Behind him another explosive wind echoed like a faraway banshee. Was the other tower hit?

Hm, it is quite hilarious, but I can't help but feel that it gets kind of repetitive in that format. But that adds to the absurdity, so it's all good. I think...

I think that smilie looks like a Na'vi from the movie Avatar.

Anyhow, now that I've gathered momentum from this experiment in repetitive absurdism at the expense of this scene , I applied it to a scene of my own fashioning. It's in 'other fiction'. Take a peek, Aspiring. I think this is how I'll do all the other stories in the cycle. Or should I..?!?! hehe