Young Writers Society

And that’s how we came into being." said my grandpa as he puffed a little smoke into the air
I never understood that story. The smell of smoke filled the room and I couldn’t help coughing a little, I swear that pipe was going to kill him. I smiled at my grandpa’s old wrinkly face.
“You mean god didn’t like the way humans were destroying the earth and so he made half humans and half animals..............I don't see how that solves anything." I said rolling my eyes. Humans will always be humans; even now we were at good terms with the bear clan.
“Well you see....."
“Lydia!" screamed my mother from outside; I let out a big sigh.
"Coming mom! We’ll see you later grandpa." I said as I walked out of his tent. The cool winter morning breeze hit my face and I wrapped my coat tighter around me. Our tent was just a few meters away from grandpa's so I would often sneak there when I wanted to get out of doing chores. I belong to the wolf clan, the second highest ranked clan in the world and of course the bear clan was first. I clenched my fist. Who did they think they were? Just because they were first ranked doesn’t mean they could treat us like servants. My mother came into view; she had the same angry expression on her face she had every time I tried to get out of doing chores.
“and where were you?" she said arms crossed. I bowed my head
“At grandpas." I said weakly
“well being at grandpa's won’t get the chores done will they."
“No mother." I said
“why can’t you be like your sister , she always does hers perfectly." she said. I felt my anger building up. I was constantly being compared to my sister.
“Because I’m not made for housework I want to hunt." I said. Which was completely true, I was great with the bow and arrow and I’m sure I’d be a great wolf, cooking and cleaning weren’t really my forte.
"Because you’re only thirteen, wait your turn." I sighed. In the wolf clan you have to be fourteen to begin hunting because that’s when you become a full fledged wolf. I smiled at the thought of my strong legs running through the forest. I wondered what color my coat would be.
“Lydia stop daydreaming and start collecting the fire wood.” she said, raising her voice.
“Ok, ok I’m going." I grumbled.
I trudged off into the forest and welcomed the sounds and smells. This is where I belong. I thought. The animals the trees, I couldn’t wait to begin hunting. I started picking up all the dry wood I could find which was extremely hard since it rained yesterday. How did she expect me to find a decent piece of wood around here?
I heard a sound that sounded like an animal was hurt. I immediately jumped up and dropped the wood I was carrying.
“ great just great.” I said picking up the pieces of wood.
There it was again. I dropped the wood and started walking the direction it was coming from. What was I doing? Any hunter knows that its stupid to go anywhere near a wounded animal but my feet didn’t seem to care. I kept walking and walking until I saw it, it was bear! It looked pretty hurt. Blood was coming out of its side and creating a small red pool underneath it.


I looked at the creature completely glued to the spot. It looked quite young. I slowly began backing away, being clawed to death wasn’t on the list of things I wanted to do today.
“Wait, help me!” it screamed
I stared at it dumfounded. It was probably a member of the bear clan. There was no way I’d help on of those savages. I turned around and started walking away
“Please!” it begged
I stopped. I couldn’t just leave it to die. I sighed , I knew I’d regret this later. I quickly ran back and nelt by it
“Change back.” I said
A boy that looked a few years older than me appeared. He had darkish skin ,like most of the clans his hair was brown and so was his eyes.. My cheeks turned red. I tried to ignore the fact that he was completely naked ripped a piece of cloth from my dress and put it around his wound.
“Lydia! Where are you?”Screamed my mother’s voice
“I’m here! Come quick.” I screamed back
She stopped right in her tracks when she saw the wounded boy on the ground
“What happened? Who is he.” She said her voice full of panic
“ I don’t know I think he’s one of the boys in the clan.” I lied
“Ok well let’s get him back before him bleeds to death.”
I nodded and we carried the boy back into our village.

Interesting take on divine human evolution. Half human and half animal would be a fun way to live...for about a week.
But then again I have a naturally boring life. I can imagine when I'm 30 ill wake up...alone in my one bedroom apartment get dressed, turn into a sparrow, fly to my office building, work for 6 to 8 hours in a lonely cubical. Turn back into a sparrow and hunt for worms for dinner...alone and fly back to my apartment. Then my half man half horse half jerk apartment owner above me would though wild parties till 3am then cry myself to sleep. Wake in the morning and do it all over again.
However your idea of it seems a lot better then mine!
Keep writing!
-Dawn

Hi, Writerchick! This story is very interesting, I liked it! So, I'll just tell you the things that I think that should be edited!

And that’s how we came into being." said my grandpa as he puffed a little smoke into the air

"And that's how we came into being," said my grandpa as he puffed a little smoke into the air.

“You mean god didn’t like the way humans were destroying the earth and so he made half humans and half animals..............I don't see how that solves anything." I said rolling my eyes.

"You mean God didn't like the way humans were destroying the earth, so he made us half humans and half animals... I don't see how that solves anything," I said rolling my eyes.

“Well you see....."

"Well, you see..."

“At grandpas." I said weakly

"At grandpa's," I said weakly.

“well being at grandpa's won’t get the chores done will they."

"Well, being at grandpa's won't get the chores done. Will they?"

“No mother." I said

"No, mother," I said.

“why can’t you be like your sister , she always does hers perfectly." she said. I felt my anger building up. I was constantly being compared to my sister.

"Why can't you be like your sister? She always does hers perfectly," she said. I felt my anger building up, I was constantly being compared to my sister.

“Because I’m not made for housework I want to hunt." I said.

"Because I'm not made for housework, I want to hunt," I said.

In the wolf clan you have to be fourteen to begin hunting because that’s when you become a full fledged wolf.

In the wolf clan, you have to be fourteen to begin hunting, because that's when you become a full fledged wolf.

“Lydia stop daydreaming and start collecting the fire wood.” she said, raising her voice.

Lydia, stop daydreaming and start collecting the fire wood," she said, raising her voice.

This is where I belong. I thought.

I would write it, like this: "This is where I belong," I thought.

“great just great.” I said picking up the pieces of wood.

"Great! Just great," I said, picking up the pieces of wood.

What was I doing? Any hunter knows that its stupid to go anywhere near a wounded animal but my feet didn’t seem to care. I kept walking and walking until I saw it, it was bear! It looked pretty hurt.

What was I doing? Any hunter knows that it's stupid to go anywhere near a wounded animal, but my feet didn't seem to care. I kept walking and walking, until saw it. It was a bear!

I stared at it dumfounded. It was probably a member of the bear clan.

I stared at it dumbfounded. It was probably a member of the bear clan.

k3eP wRiTiNg!
-Solvalery

I liked this story. I think you could make to time period of the of the story clear because I cant tell if this is in the past or the present. There is one thing I am confused about.

“You mean god didn’t like the way humans were destroying the earth and so he made half humans and half animals..............I don't see how that solves anything." I said rolling my eyes. Humans will always be humans; even now we were at good terms with the bear clan.

How can she say this when she knows she can turn into a wolf? Isn't she half human and half animal?
Secondly, I think her parents might know that bear boy is from a different clan when they take him back to the village.

He had darkish skin ,like most of the clans his hair was brown and so was his eyes

This story is great. You should keep writing. Fiction

I love the theme that you have set for this story. Re-editing your text will help improve your piece.
Keep up the good work, xD