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Supermarket Bandits: Barbarians on the Holocaust Highway

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Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:58 am
MRMarathon says...



2 PART EPISODE. (see definition of holocaust if you're going to complain about the title, does not refer to historical event in this case)

Barbarians on the Holocaust Highway

Driving down the holocaust highway in their lucid dreams. Jude is high off of some incendiary hallucinogenic drug. The crowds of cars seemingly swim by in a sea of blue green. The afternoon begins to fade away and orange dominates the sky.
"We're fucking barbarians!!" Screams out Caleb.
"How much we got, Rashad?" Aiden asks him as Jude pulls up to a bright scarlet traffic light.
“Five thousand two hundred and thirty-six in cash and probably another five hundred in jewels." He smirks from the rearview mirror.
"Dude, we should celebrate! Let's go to Mackenzie's house! She's got the booze!"
"Wait, when are we going to split the loot?" Jude asks concerned.
"We'll discuss it later, but I agree we should go to Mackenzie's house. We should celebrate. She lives right by the lake a few miles up Miles Road up there." He points and laughs at the horizon.
The horrifying sunset that blotted their view and made everything a silhouette finally settled beyond the horizon. The snake tongue of victory was down their throats and the gas-guzzlers, the titans of the highway became nothing more than moving lights floating past barbarian-like gentlemen.

Exploding House

"Wow, this is so unexpected. I haven't seen you guys in months. Where have you all been?" Mackenzie sat on her mini bar stool that was among the many luxuries of her lakeside house in Michigan. The boys had traveled nearly thirty miles away from the sick suburbs. She wore a simple black dress with large gold hoop earrings. Her hazel eyes darted around the room and noticed the arabesque features of taciturn Rashad. His blue dangling tie around his neck matched the same color of the panties she was wearing.
"We're here on business and we just decided since we were here we might as well spend the night with our number one girl. It's been a long drive from Illinois. You don't mind do you? I mean I'm sorry it's such short notice."
Jude had just finished his martini and held his glass in his hand for a moment before capriciously bursting out. "Hey, you don't by any chance know how to make a Shirley Temple do you?"
Rashad laughed his big white ivory smile when he said that. It was an inside joke.
"Did you guys know Shirley Temple was a politician? She was like a Republican, an ambassador for the free world." Rashad stated it so bluntly; it shocked the room that he said so much. Jude glanced at Rashad and flashed his shark smile.
Jude added, "It's true. Didn't you guys know?"
"I thought she was dead!" Mackenzie replied with wide eyes.
"I'll get you that Shirley Temple though." She got behind the counter and opened the necessary bottles.
"Anyway, as I was saying Mackenzie. You do have a nice view here. I mean it's so much better than a hotel. You really don't mind though? I mean the view!! It's of one of the freaking great lakes! That's somethin'!"
Mackenzie blushed a little as she poured her concoction. "Aiden, of course you can stay. I don't know why you would doubt that I, your best friend from fourth grade, would deny you a place to stay."
Aiden walked up to her and leaned over the brown polished counter, placed his hand on her cheek, looked into her eyes with his steel blue eyes and said, "I knew I could count on you."
"Where's Caleb?" Jude asked perplexed as he began to frantically spin around on his stool hoping to find him. Rashad was looking out the window and now wore his sun lenses. "He is outside playing with a gas can."
"Oh my god! The guest house is exploding!"
A white flame shot into the sky and Caleb with his wildly dark hair danced around the fire and laughed. "Fire, please keep me satisfied! Make me pornographic!" He began stripping off his clothes and throwing them into the twenty foot blaze.
Jude ran across the back yard towards the lake where the guesthouse was and tackled Caleb to the ground.
"Are you fucking insane? You idiot!"
He grabbed him by his tie and began punching his face madly as he pinned him down.
"Dude, Dude! Stop!" He howled manically. "You're killing me!"
"You’re not fucking funny! You could have gotten yourself killed!"
The fire danced beautifully around their violent bodies of decay. The fog behind them with the faint light of the moon painted a strange background for the roaring decadence that glowed from a burning house.
Meanwhile, on the porch, Mackenzie's mouth was gaped open, her hands covering a gasp. Rashad ran over to push Jude off and Aiden did the same for Caleb. Rashad's curly dark hair dangled in front of one eye. They all began to sweat being so close to the heat.
Jude looked at Aiden and over at Mackenzie, they all realized the fire department would have to come and get them. Jude was the paranoid type; he would make the gang of four run away. Aiden was the cautious practical one. He would surely consider the same thing. They all looked at Rashad and knew what they had to do. They couldn't stay there anymore.
Their open pores gaped open and the sweat began to pour as the nighttime air cooled their bodies.
"What? What are you guys looking at me that way for? I was trying to have fun. Explosions are awesome!"
"Caleb, if you don't start fucking behaving we're all going to beat the fucking shit out of you, tie you up like a goat, drag you to the desolate woods and shoot you point blank with all our guns pointed at every hole in your body. If you don't want that shit to happen to you, then I suggest you behave."
Aiden spoke to Caleb authoritatively as the fire blazed behind them. Caleb was now on his knees and looking at Aiden like he was some sort of godly figure to be feared. His green eyes watched Aiden and saw all the pores and all the hairs on his face. Aiden was breathing heavily. Caleb mumbled, got up and stepped into Mackenzie's house.
They all got up and watched him walk into the house that bid them misfortune.
"Looks like she already called. Do what you got to do, Rashad."
Rashad slid his dark lenses back on that hid a man of great character. He walked towards the house with a purpose. Behind those lenses were the eyes that told people he regretted what he had to do. Mackenzie stepped out from the kitchen as he approached the porch. "I called 911. The fire rescue is on its way. And don't worry; you don't have to pay for anything. I understand." She said it so sympathetically.
It was then that Rashad pulled out his gun from his left breast pocked quick as a flash and shot her straight into the skull three feet away. Her blood hit the floor and the scarlet liquid left red art on the window and floor. It was immediate, quick, painless, and shocking.
Aiden was the one that looked away. He mumbled out loud, "I'm going to miss her."
Jude and Aiden both stood for a moment as Rashad did the same while looking over her dead body.
"Let's go." Aiden said to both of them. "Jude, go get Caleb."




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Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:27 am
Griffinkeeper says...



Please rate your work appropriately.
<YWS><R1><Founders>




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Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:01 pm
Ares says...



Dang. Harsh ending.

I really enjoyed this though, it definetly wasn't a waste of time. You had a good intro and for the most part, a really good piece.

Break it up a little bit. Maybe add some more spacing.

It was cool, sorry I didn't pick at it more, there wasn't much to change.