So here's my story that I wrote for Creative Writing. It's okay...I hope my next two will be better. This is mostly a characterization story on the early life of my character - Julia Fredrickson. I have an idea for a much, much longer story with her as an adult. So here she is as a child.
Enjoy, critique and comment
(If you would like to e-mail me a really long critique please send it to kmapes2@uiuc.edu)
Thanks
Ships and Boys
I told my very first lie right after my mother died. I was ten.
"How are you feeling, sweetheart." My father stood before me and I knew I should tell him. Tell him that I was scared and alone. There weren?t words for my sadness.
This very moment would change my life completely and as I look back on it I wish I had told the truth. "Fine," I answered.
Teddy threw the ball to Lucas shouting words I couldn?t hear through the kitchen window. The onions made my eyes water as I chopped them. The sound of the knife on the cutting board echoed hollowly through the quaint, empty kitchen. I tossed the onions into the stew that hung over the fireplace. The stew was one my mother had taught me to make. It always reminded me of her. If I strained just a little I could hear her soft spoken voice, "Remember Julia, stir it every few minutes. Otherwise it might burn."
I turned away from the onions for a moment and whipped my eyes. The dirty laundry in the corner seemed to be growing every time I looked away. "I'll do it tomorrow," I said aloud, talking to myself for company. I stirred the stew again. Avery, my younger brother, came bounding into the kitchen. He was still innocent and full of life.
"Hey Juls!" Avery said. My face flushed and I nodded a curt hello. The smile that crossed my face was a lie. "You should come with me to the harbor tonight. I think the new ship that came in yesterday is really a pirate ship."
I scoffed. "You're old enough to know that pirate ships don't dock here."
"No! It really is a pirate ship. Come with me and I'll show you, come on. Remember when we used to run around the docks together and try to find pirates. You were going to join a crew."
"That was three years ago. At least I?ve grown up since then," I said shaking my head. Avery was about to speak again when the kitchen door opened.
"Good day, Father," I said quickly.
"Hello Father," Avery said.
The tall man before us sighed in response and sat down at the table.
"Busy day Father?" Avery asked.
He grunted a yes.
"A cup of tea," Father said and I rushed to prepare it. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, hands on his eyes.
Avery gave me an encouraging smile as he slid out the door. Father didn't move until I set the tea before him.
"Julia, am I raising them right?" His hands reached out to grip the cup but his eyes remained closed. I'd seen him do this many times. He was pretending. "Am I too hard on our boys? Julia what should I do?" Julia, my mother's name, my name.
He always asked about the boys. My six brothers, his worries encompassed them and only them. The smell of the onions had dissipated into the air but my eyes still stung with tears. "You're doing fine,?"I said closing my eyes and holding back the tears. A lie. I always lied. Sometimes I wondered if something was wrong with me.
Father sipped at his tea, opened his eyes and asked, "When were you planning on doing laundry?"
"To-tomorrow," I stuttered.
"Try today," he said. His tea cup clinked against the table as he left.
I let out a sigh and sunk into a chair, the tears rolling down my face. Three years after her death and I was still crying.
I used to love the harbor. It was a constant reminder of the endless possibilities before me. The night after my mother's funeral I snuck out hoping the sea would calm my soul. The harvest moon shed all the light I needed to make my way to the docks. I remember that there was a light breeze. As it blew by me I stopped walking letting it ruffle my skirt and brush my face. An old grandmother once told me that the souls of the dead are carried on the wind. I thought of my mother. My grief consumed me as I walked. I couldn?t hear the footsteps coming up behind me. I never noticed the faces in the shadows. My senses weren't awakened until an arm wrapped around my waist and another around my mouth. Fear coursed through my veins like a fish swimming down stream.
"That's a good girl," the man said in an undertone. Two other men stepped out of the shadows. The hungry look on their faces told me that I was the fish. The way they looked at me, their eyes moving up and down. Evaluating me like an object. Something inside of me snapped. I struggled within the man's grasp, kicking and beating. He held fast whispering words I'd never heard into my ear. I bit his hand and he almost let me go. For a second I was shouting into the night. One of the other men wrestled me to the ground, throwing his disgusting self on top of me. He smelled of cheap ale, cigars and seaweed.
"Get off of her!?" a gunshot exploded near by.
The men scattered. I lay where I was. The moon passed behind a cloud.
"Are you okay?" the man's voice was urgent. He knelt beside me. I didn't respond. The wind whistled through an unseen window.
"Miss?" He touched me gently. Slowly I turned my head to look at him. His face was all eyes and lips. Large symmetrical eyes looked directly into mine. They were the exact color of the dark chocolate Father had given us once. His cheeks were flushed an appealing shade of pink against sun -kissed skin. His wide lips were pursued tightly yet I could still see a happiness about them, a soft smile reaching up to his perfect eyes.
I lifted myself off the dirt road. My handsome rescuer moved quickly to help me. "Are you alright? Did they hurt you?"
"No, I'm fine now," The words slipped out of my lips before I could even think of the truth. The cloud unveiled the moon. My hands shook as I tried to stand. I was almost to my feet when my head began to spin. My rescuer steadied me.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Julia."
"Can I walk you home, Miss Julia?" His eyes scanned my face they shined as he gave me a reassuring smile. His hand felt warm in mine and I knew this must be what love felt like. Whenever I feel scared I think of this moment. It will be forever etched into my mind.
"Yes," I answered in a whisper.
Father whipped me that night, after my rescuer left. A new rule was added to the household list: Julia is not allowed to go to the harbor.
No one in my family asked me if I was okay. No one reassured me that everything was going to be alright. My rescuer had but he was at the harbor. I lay in bed at night dreaming of his eyes, his smile. I wondered who he was and what he did. Something took hold of my heart and wouldn't let it go. I was hanging laundry when the realization hit, I would do anything to see my rescuer again. My eyes rested on Avery's soaking trousers. That's when I first wanted to be a boy. Even though he was a year younger Avery could go to the docks whenever he wanted. The next day Avery and I snuck out. It was the first time I dressed as a boy. I went with the intention of finding my rescuer but soon I fell in love with the sea. For a fortnight Avery and I snuck out. We met sailors, merchants and other children that hung around the docks. That was until Virgil, my eldest and most serious brother, caught me sneaking out. He didn't tell father, instead he watched me with his eagle eye. I hadn't tried to go to the harbor since.
"Avery," I whispered slipping into his room, "I want to come with you."
"So you do believe it's a pirate ship!"
"Shhh, I don't know yet but I want to see it."
Avery's clothes were a little too big on me but I thought it helped the effect. I tied my hair back with a black ribbon, which was common for boys, and plopped my brother's floppy hat on my head. Even at night the docks were crawling with people. Some of them were beggars, some were the type that attack little girls but most of them were sailors.
Each time we passed someone who didn't as much as glance at us I felt a new wave of confidence. Boys ran around the docks all the time - I was just one of them.
"It's the next one," Avery called back to me.
The ship was a Barque, a small, fast vessel that is rumored to be a favorite among pirates. Three masts stood tall against the sky. As we came even closer I could tell that it was the best armed ship I had ever seen . Father always said that the more cannons a ship had indicated that it was involved in more battles.
Avery was smiling at me. "So what do you think? It looks a lot like a pirate ship doesn't it?"
"Yeah," I said slowly letting my breath out, "It does."
"Come on lets go on board."
"Can we do that?"
Avery just continued grinning. He crept toward a wooden plank that had been lowered for easy entry. A rope was tied across it, attempting to make it off limits. Avery ducked beneath it and I followed. "Breathe," he said. I let out my breath not realizing that I'd been holding it.
We nearly ran into a pair of black boots with shiny silver buckles standing right in front of us.
"Where do you two think your going?"
Avery stood and I followed trying to look like a boy as much as possible.
"We just wanted to see the ship, sir," Avery said all innocent and polite. "It's a fine ship, sir," he added for good measure.
"You're right, boy" The man looked lovingly at the ship and his chocolate brown eyes sparkled.
I put my hand over my lips catching the gasp that slipped out. It was him, my rescuer at last. He still had those same brown eyes. He looked to be in his late twenties with dark brown hair. The stubble of hair on his chin indicated the beginning of a beard. His body was lean and muscular from hard labor. "Well," he asked after a moment, "what are your names?" He smiled then and it was as magnificent as I remembered.
"I'm Avery and this is Ju-" Avery stopped. His face was still with the realization of what he'd done. My rescuer looked confused.
"July," I said holding my hand out for him. Part of me wanted him to recognize me as a girl. The other part wanted to be a boy forever.
He shook my hand. "Hello July. Are you two brothers?"
"Yes," Avery and I said at the same time.
He laughed and it sounded like the shot of a gun, low and short. "This here," he indicated toward the ship, "is the Monserrat. Follow me."
I glanced over at Avery. He smiled and nodded.
"This here is the quarter deck," my rescuer said. Several cannons sat pointing out into the sea.
"Have you ever shot a cannon, sir?" Avery asked.
"Of course," he answered.
"I hope to shoot a cannon someday," I said. Knowing that I never would.
He laughed like a gun again. His smile and laugh didn't match. "That's a good dream to have, July. When you get a bit older you might be able to accomplish that." He was mocking me. "Over there," he continued with the tour, "is the foremast. The one behind us is the mizzen mast."
We walked down a flight of stairs across another deck. I'd never realized how large a ship really was until I was on it. Sailors were scattered all over. Some scrubbed the deck, others were talking and laughing. Yet they all stared as we passed. None of them said anything, not even a word to my rescuer.
"Down here," he continued, "is the crew's quarters." He opened a hatch revealing a flight of stairs. "This," he dropped the hatch with a bang. Only Avery and I jumped, the crew seemed to be use to it. "Is the capstan. It's used to pull ropes that would be too heavy otherwise." My rescuer continued to point out parts of the ship.
I stood there trying to take it all in. The night air infused with the smell of fish, the lullaby of the water lapping against the ship. Women weren't allowed on ships. I could have no hope for ever joining a crew. Tonight, though, I was a boy. As a boy I could do whatever I wanted.
"What's your name?" I asked my rescuer.
"Captain Kipling," he said with a smile that covered his whole face.
"You're a captain?" Avery gasped.
"I am," he laughed.
"Is this a pirate ship?" I asked directly.
Captain Kipling looked at us both seriously for the first time. "You'd better come with me to the captain's cabin." He led us back the way we came to the stern of the ship. An ornate door was the entrance to a spacious room. Everything was nailed down from the deep red rug, to the dark wood table. "Sit," he said and even the chairs were nailed down. I glanced over at Avery but he was no longer filled with delight. Instead he appeared horrified, his face had paled and his eyes were focused on something far away. His fearfulness made me uneasy.
Kipling didn't say anything instead he opened a trunk and pulled out a rolled up piece of cloth. He unrolled it across the table. "Do you know what this is?" His voice had a different tone to it than before. The cloth was red with a white skull in the middle. A white heart was in the skull's mouth like the teeth were crushing it. I paled, maybe we were in trouble.
"Well what is it, boys?" Kipling asked again.
"A Jolly Roger," Avery whispered.
"Very good," Kipling laughed that same gun shot of a laugh. "I'm just joking around with you boys. We captured this one from a pirate ship.? He began to roll up the flag. "I'm going to have to send you two off now. We're going to be sailing soon."
"You mean your leaving?" I said before I could stop myself.
"Aye," he answered crossing to open the door for us. Avery jumped to his feet. I could see that the whole exchange had frightened him. Kipling walked us to the entryway. "Head on home now," he said.
Avery was off the ship before I had even made up my mind. "Hey, I'll meet you at home!" I shouted to him.
"What!"
"I'll meet you don't worry." He nodded and took off, careless as ever. I turned toward a confused looking Captain Kipling. "I want to join your crew!" I said in my best impression of a boy.
Kipling considered me for a moment. "How old are you?"
"Thirteen."
"Do you have a last name July?"
"North," I said. It was the first name that came into my head.
Kipling considered me for another second before turning to his crew milling around on the deck. "Men! What do you think of July North here joining our crew?"
"We did just lose that cabin boy," one man said. There was a murmur of agreement after that. My heart thumped against my chest so hard it hurt.
"Yea! Let 'im join if 'e wants!" another man shouted. There were congenial shouts of yea after that.
"Welcome aboard July North I'm your captain." Kipling shook my hand and then he turned away shouting orders. "Pull up the gang plank! Bring up the anchor! All hands on deck!" Glancing sideway at me he shouted, "Run up the Jolly Roger!"
I can't wait to find out what happens next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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