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Winds screamed their way across the wide expanse of open ground. The sky was an angry shade of blackish-grey, but I suppose it could have been from the cannons and musketfire that had long since ceased. Who knows what true colors lay beyond, waiting paitiently for their turn to appear. Perhaps the sun was just beginning to set, it's shimmering brilliance hidden.
The tall grasses that had once solely inhabited the large field were matted and trampled, stained with the blood of man, cast down from the weight of human flesh. The ring of trees stood as solemn sentries to the horrors lying within the circle. A single buck stood staring as his changing coat camouflaged him from any potential dangers, looking confused. This encounter had taken place entirely by chance for a lone scout had alerted the separate brigades to each others presence, both sides had been taken aback and niether was prepared. A scattered melee ensued, red against blue. Puffs of smoke from musket fire and the thundering roar of cannons could be heard from every direction as each side struggled for the upper hand.
Screams from the wounded and suffering along with the frenetic whinnying of the officer's horses also peppered the air adding to the confusion. After an hour of such bedlam, things began to return to their quiet state of normalcy as men retreated back into the relative safety of the treeline leaving their fallen comrades moaning and begging to be put from their misery. Weapons fell silent and all that could be heard again were the sounds of the suffering and the howling wind. It was a frigid day, cold enough for frost, maybe even snow. What few survivors there were would certainly not last long.
From this deserter's battle-weary prospective, seeing such carnage was certainly not a surprising experience by any means but this particular scene was different in some way. By now the battle had long since ended, the smoke dissipated, the sounds of the dying long since ceased. The sun was rising over this grim scene providing me with a clearer picture of the battlefield.
I began to limp through the dead center of the slaughter feeling somehow responsible for setting all those who had died here at peace simply with my presence. All of the bodies now far gone with rigor aided along with the intense cold were frozen stiff where they lay, twisted into grotesque and unnatural positions. The blood had also frozen into miniature streams and rivers snaking through and around the bodies, crunching underfoot as I walked.
Some had their arms raised still calling out for someone to return and save them. Blue lips and pale faces, eyes unseeing. Gaping gunshot holes and shrapnel wounds accounted for most of the deaths but for many others, death had not come easily. Flesh was stripped away exposing muscle and bone. Skulls cracked revealing red matter beneath, men with missing limbs strewn about various places, their faces contorted grimaces of pain, ensured a slow and lonely death.
Through it all however I could not believe the unmistakable and ironic sense of peacefulness. My head was spinning, my heart was heavy with grief. I looked down at my side and to my surprise I saw blood trickling from under my threadbare jacket that my mother had sewn me, staining the already filthy and tattered fabric that had taken her so long to piece together. How was I bleeding? I began to feel dizzy from the lack of blood. I tore frantically at my jacket until I found the source of the blood. A large jagged hunk of metal protruded from my side. My eyes saw it but my brain could not comprehend nor feel any pain.
I fell to my knees, no longer able to support my own weight. I was nearly on eye-level with many of the bodies surrounding me. My God I was to become one of them, a forgotten corpse on a forgotten battlefield, left to disentigrate and rot until nothing was left of me.
My eyes slowly began to close and I fought to maintain conciousness. But it was so very cold and my body was tired. I longed for sleep to grab hold. I felt myself slipping even further to the ground. My bag and musket fell from my shoulder and I found myself lying flat on my back staring up at the beautiful sky. It seemed to go on forever. I wondered what was up there in that great expanse of nothingness. I grew up believing that's where heaven was. My mother had told me that and I never questioned it. She was a wonderful woman, I was going to miss her. I prayed to God for her to be at peace when she received the news of my death, that she would know inside of her heart that I had went feeling no pain. Tears began to appear in my eyes forming crystals of ice on my eyelashes as they dried and froze.
I felt as if I was on the edge of a precipice, dangling in a hazy stupor. What was next?
Was this what it felt like to die?
I felt myself leaving and took one last breath, tasting the air on my tongue, before I jumped into uncertainty and the Great Unknown. My suffering was over, just like the men beside me. I joined the brotherhood they had unknowingly formed in death. I was one of them now.
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