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Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:44 pm
rosethorn says...



Hyrule North Castle, residence of Her Majesty, the Queen:

Zelda sat at her writing desk early that morning, tending to a letter she’d nearly forgotten to finish. It was addressed to her cousin William, giving him instructions and liberties for the care of the kingdom in her absence.

Katherine, Zelda’s most trusted attendant, entered the bedchambers. “Your Majesty, you should be dressing now,” the young woman exasperated.

Zelda looked up from the letter. “Oh, yes. Goodness, he’ll be here any minute.” She quickly finished her last sentence, signed, dated, and sealed the letter. She handed it to Katherine. “See that this letter is delivered directly to King William’s hand.”

“Of course, but let’s hurry and get you dressed. Do you prefer blue or white?”

Zelda made a face. “Neither. I will wear one of my simple day gowns.” If she was to be living within the forest for any length of time, she did not wish to ruin her more expensive clothing.

“Yes your Majesty.” Katherine answered, and searched the Queen’s wardrobe for suitable gowns.

Once dressed, Zelda began packing valuables in another trunk. Among these valuables she placed some of her most sacred treasures. The Ocarina of Time was among them. For a moment it lingered in her hands, the crystal instrument reflecting so much of her own past.

A knock at the door startled her and she quickly wrapped the artifact in its silk case and turned to greet the visitor. The guard in the doorway bowed, half exhausted. “Your Majesty, he’s here.”

“Did he have you run?” Zelda asked, partially amused..

“Indeed, your Majesty.” He answered.

“Very well. Keep him entertained. I’ll only be a few more minutes.”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

While Katherine busied herself with preparing the last of the necessities, Zelda stood in front of her full-length mirror, braiding her hair loosely. The ride to the Kokiri forests would be a long one. Longer if she could not keep her hair out of her face.

She smoothed the folds of her pale green dress over her swollen belly and frowned. It had been an uncomfortable six months. There was plenty of tension when the announcement had been made. Many members of the council had disapproved of Zelda’s condition, some even leaving her service. Zelda had been Queen for only a short year and already there were whispered doubts of her capabilities. However, while the nobles were outraged by the news, Zelda’s people were thrilled. Celebrations were still being held in honor of the unborn child outside the castle walls. But inside the walls there was a heated tension.

Link worried for Zelda’s well being and the health of the unborn child. He insisted that she stay with him in the forest for the remainder of her term. At first she had resisted the idea, not wanting to dissatisfy her more opinionated subjects. Link was no prince. Not a drop of noble blood ran through his veins. He was the Hero, yes. But he was not fit for the company of their Queen.

Eventually, through persuasion, Zelda’s mind was changed. She agreed to join Link within the forest and to remain there at least until the child was born.
  





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Thu Mar 01, 2007 4:52 am
luna_the_shiekah says...



Interesting start. My only real bone to pick is the names of Zelda's cousin and attendant. They are too "normal."

If this is set during peace time where Ganondorf isn't running amok, I think it'd make more sense if you had Impa be Zelda's attendant and not an OC.

Course, that's just my humble opinion :D

LUNA
I cannot name this
I cannot explain this
and I really don't want to
just call me shameless.

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Thu Mar 01, 2007 4:45 pm
rosethorn says...



Ah yes, Impa will be making her appearance. Fairly important character. But I didn't figure Impa would have her talents wasted picking out dresses. :wink:

More to come later.
  





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Mon May 21, 2007 1:37 pm
theron guard says...



Very nice. I am a big Legend of Zelda fan. I really liked it, good wording and conversation. But I'll have to agree with the above. :? :)
Ohhhhhhh YEAH!!!!!!
  





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Mon May 21, 2007 1:41 pm
miyaviloves says...



Yay i really liked this! I look forward to seeing how you make this progress, and how you adapt it, but its great so far!

Meevs
x
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Mon May 21, 2007 3:06 pm
gyrfalcon says...



Personally, I've never played the game and I don't know that much about it, and yet I really did enjoy it! You didn't put too many things in there that a non-player would get stuck on (except for the thingie of time or whatever, but I assume all will be made clear with that later). Only one thing, critiquing-wise:

“Your Majesty, you should be dressing now,” the young woman exasperated.


That's an adjective, not a verb, darling. You could say "the young woman said, exasperated." or find a synonym for "said exasperated."
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis
  





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Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:33 pm
Gladius says...



He he. I wanna read more! :D However, one thing: You say at first that William is Zelda's cousin, but then when she hands the letter to Katherine it's 'King William.' :sm107 If you don't mind my asking, what's up with that? :smt005
When Heroes fall and the Sacred Blade is captured, can Evil be stopped?~The Wings of Darkness

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Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:07 pm
Maki-Chan says...



I like this, ever since I read your 'Hang Man' story. I want to read more of your fan-ficts. You bring good justice towars other characters ^_^
check out my deviantart account ^_^
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Tue Apr 08, 2008 7:38 am
rosethorn says...



Gladius,

Her cousin has his own kingdom to the north, Lotharia.
  





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Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:39 pm
Shoryu says...



Excellent story, I love it, the way you have it put together just makes it really good. I can't wait till there's more! :D
Shoryu
  





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Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:12 pm
Ross says...



This is a fantastic story. I loved the plot, the thoughts of Zelda...it was just plain good.
And we'll be a dream...

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Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:36 pm
note to self says...



One thing I love to see in fan fictions is two characters getting married or having children so I really enjoyed this. Luna mentioned above the names were a little too normal compared to other characters in Zelda and I agree. I think OCs in fan fictions should have names that sound more like the others.

This is great so far and theres so much more you can add to make it better. I'd love to see you go into why the nobles are so upset and maybe even go back and explain exactly what happened when Zelda's pregnancy was announced.

Good luck with this!
Missa
  








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