Young Writers Society

That was great! It was in total accord with Draco's character, he talks tough but has a weak heart.

I aslo like your interpritaion of Severus Snape's charcter. Where he truly feels sympathy for Draco, albiet awkwardly.

This idea is very creative, I never seen a story about Draco before school.

All in all, I think that this story is extremely creative and interesting.

Nice!
It was kind of unclear, because of some mistakes, but overall, it was pretty good, a fun read.

This was a nice piece and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

However, some of your word choices as stated before could have been better. I like how you gave the reader a different side of Draco ans Snape for that matter.

It would have been nice if you had put in more emotion to the characters so that they would be more believable and so that they would be more like themselves.

Other than that it was a fun piece to read! Keep it up!

I liked your take on the story but you've really confused me. This isn't the Draco we know now or is porrtayed in the novels. He is whiny and Snape is cold and uncaring. He most likely wouldn't comfort Draco. Draco seems young so that helps when making him sad over murder but remember that his father most likely would've encouraged evil inside of his son.

I can only complain about your judgement of the characters and petty grammatical errors, but the writing was good and the idea fascinated me. I'd love to see more fanfictions from you

Aaaw, this is kind of sweet!
I didn't see any problems and the whole actually made lots of sense, so congrats.
I also love how you developed Draco. He's (one of) my favorite characters in Harry Potter and I don't like it when people are all, "Oh, he's so EVIL." Because, really, he isn't. He's just confused.
So, great story

Keep writing,
Alzora

I love this - it sets up a great background for the end of the 6th book. It matches up beautifully with Draco's actions later in Rowling's books.
However, I tend to agree with the others on one point - Snape really isn't that warm and nice, even at his best. I can't picture him actually doing any of that stuff for Draco or the peacock - I would imagine him saying something cold and walking away.
Overall, though, this is great - it shows that everyone has a soft side, and sometimes the bad guys aren't really so bad.

I really liked this, it seemed like something that would happen
and it seems like a good reason for why Draco couldn't kill Dumbledore 9 years later
it's fitting and I think you portrayed the characters very well.

Maybe a little more detail would be helpful
but other than that it is very well written.

Hi there!
I really like your story! Wow, Snape was very kind that time! I love how you made Draco such an innocent little boy! It's sweet. Even though your style isn't very similar with J.K. Rowling's style, you made it your own, that's great! I love it! Awesome job and keep it up!

- gleek456 <3

Good job making it a peacock and not any kind of bird. It clearly states there was a peacock at Malfoy Manor in the last book. Congrats on remembering this

It was a very good story. I believe you hit Draco fairly well except for the fact that he'd been hardening his heart to protect it. Draco wasn't a nice guy. He just wasn't evil. Anyways, thats what I like about fanfictions. They're meant to be played around with. I believe the plot line was very good and except for grammatical errors already pointed out, you did very well. Congrats on a story well written.

The grammar wasnt fully correct but the way you detailed the story was precise. It was amazing how Draco had contemplated a big, bad decision by remembering a time when he did something wrong and felt guilty. This story was filled with emotion. Though im not a big fan of the Harry Potter series, but this good work had caught my attention. I enjoyed the story.Great work!

I really liked it, but the idea of Draco crying because he killed a peacock is, in my opinion, a little bit forced. I mean, probably, analyzing what he did he would have been cruel to animals in his infancy. But the idea of Snape being his "nanny" made me laugh a lot. Really good. Also, the fact that you made them "friends" before school was great too. Congratulations.