I layed laid across the backseat of Jake's car.
It's laid, not layed... I'm pretty sure.
... and I before E except after C... it's briefly.I wish I could understand what the big deal is... I'm sick thats that's all." here you must say who is talkingJake and Dad breifly looked...
"Nessie, lets go talk... at the cottage."
Shouldn't it be in the cottage?
Another spelling error, you may want to run spell check next time.This couldn't be happening, but it's the only logical explaination. explanation
Spelling error again.I knew why they were concerned becuase I had nearly killed my mother when I was born. because
Over all
I liked it, wasn't what I was expecting at all. Usually I hate anything Twilight related. To make me even say I like it is a great achievement! Great job and keep writing!
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Points: 1882
Reviews: 66