z

Young Writers Society


Friends, Dreams and Training (Chapter 2)



User avatar
49 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1532
Reviews: 49
Sat Apr 02, 2011 11:18 pm
roostangarar says...



Noah lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His clock said 5am, his eyes were wide open and the hammering of his heart was seemingly increasing in tempo with each minute that passed. Each minute bringing him closer to 8 o'clock. Edward Tripoli, the representative from the Indigo Plateau, had said that he would interview all the potential candidates in the Gym at 8 o'clock, to pick a new Gym leader.
Noah's excitement was incredible. This was all he'd ever wanted to do. Ever since he was a little boy playing with his Mum's Pidgeotto in the Pokemon Centre, ever since he'd first known about Pokemon and the Gym. He felt that it was the entirety of his existence, his calling in life. Just the thought of being the Leader in the Gym made his palms tingle and Butterfrees flutter in his stomach.
He turned to his bedside table and looked out of his window. He could just see the top of the Gym over the Pokemon Centre, and the sea beyond in the pre-dawn. He picked up his Bellsprouts Pokeball and idly turned it over in his hands. He had caught it only a fortnight ago but it already trusted him. He was training it up to be a valuable member of his Poison type team, for when he ran the Gym. He turned to look at the distant ocean again, thinking about the Tentacool there. A Tentacool would add plenty of diversity to his team, making him that much harder to beat. With this thought he looked at his clock again. 5.20am, it read. Noah groaned. Why couldn't time speed up!
Making a decision, Noah flipped back his Spearow-down duvet and crossed to his desk. He logged onto his PC, and while it loaded up he released his Venonat and Bellsprout. Venonat chirruped happily, and Bellsprout waved its leaves about.
"Okay guys, what do you think about some early morning training?"
"Veno-nat!" cried Venonat.
"Sprout!", Bellsprout enthused.

The day had dawned bright and early, but not as early as Noah. His rush of excitement had turned to apprehension and anxiety. Apprehension because of the huge opportunity that was laid out in front of him, and anxiety due to the chance that he may not get it. There were three possible Gym Leaders to be chosen, but Noah was only really worried about the girl with jagged purple hair, brown eyes and a slim frame standing between him and a Biker from Celadon. The girl in question was Janine, Koga's daughter. Already proficient with the Poison type, added to the fact that her Father was expecting great things, she was under heavy pressure to succeed.
A crowd had formed to witness the method in which Mr. Tripoli would choose the next Gym Leader. Many of the spectators were hopeful challengers, wishing to battle the new Leader to get the Soul Badge. Since Koga left a few months ago, there had been no-one to battle to receive the Badge, so there had been quite a build-up of potential challengers.
A shadow briefly passed over Noah's face, and he looked up to see a Dragonite swooping overhead. A smile crossed his face and the nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach eased slightly. The only person he knew that had a Dragonite was Sam's Dad.
The Dragonite hovered next to the Gym, Sam climbed off of its back and it landed next to him. He patted its side and it took off again. Sam waved to Noah and jogged over. With his skinny frame and brown hair, many people thought that the two were related.
"Hey Noah! I heard the news in Pewter's Pokemon Mart. D'you think that you'll get it?"
Noah clasped forearms with his best friend, "Well, I certainly hope so! I tell you though, I'm really nervous."
Sam laughed, then shook his head, "Nah mate, you'll get it no bother. Venonat's really strong now. It knocked out my Grimer really easily before I left."
There was no more time to talk, as Edward Tripoli came out of the Gym at that moment. He looked over the crowd and once they were quiet and attentive, he announced, " We will pick the next Gym Leader of Fuschia City today. Our three candidates-", he indicated Janine, the Biker and Noah. Upon seeing Noah speaking to Sam, he faltered and a look of uncertainty crossed his features. He turned and conferred with Clyde the Caretaker, who assumed that anyone who came into the Gym was a champ in the making. Edward strode over to Noah, with a slightly sheepish look on his face. Noah got that same ominous feeling that he had when Pikachu jumped him.
"Ahem, Noah my boy", started Edward. He paused, as if he didn't know how to go on. "When I was told that I was to pick the next Gym Leader, I wasn't given names, you see. I, ah, was only given a description of the person, so, if you see what I'm saying..."
The Butterfrees in Noahs stomach had disappeared, but only to be replaced by a sick feeling. He got what Mr. Tripoli was saying. He wasn't a candidate at all. It was Sam. Sam who looked exactly like him. Sam who's Grimer he could beat, but not his Weezing. Sam who was his best friend, and had always been.
Noah turned away from everything and began to walk. He wouldn't be the Gym Leader of Fuschia City. His dream was shattered.
I hae but ane gallant son, and if he were to follow me in my footsteps, how proud I shall be.

Time isn't a straight line. It's a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff
  





User avatar
125 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3435
Reviews: 125
Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:43 pm
PixieStix says...



Very exaustic, but it kept me up! It was interesting and seemed real, or is it real? I loved it an I hope that other people will enjoy it as much as I did.

~Pixie2~
All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie-dust!
  





User avatar
58 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 58
Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:33 pm
kathy45662 says...



Here's what I saw as I read:

Noah lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His clock said 5am, his eyes were wide
Is his clock on the ceiling or was he glancing at the clock now and then?

Everything else seemed okay. I didn't really see any grammar problems. I can't wait to read more!
90% of writing is re-writing!
  





User avatar
73 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2721
Reviews: 73
Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:36 pm
Confused.pirate says...



I was curious what this was about when I read the title, and when it was Pokemon it made my heart happy :) I love Pokemon so much...anywayy enough with my little nerd-fest. I like how easily you incorporated the Pokemon world with your writing, especially when you said "butterfrees in his stomach". I thought that was mighty clever :) As a chapter..I don't know if much was going on in this story besides him walking to the gym and walking away. I understand the major change with him not being able to be a candidate for a gym leader, but I feel like something more should have happened.
Otherwise, I definitely enjoyed reading it :)

Keep writing!
<3 Sara.
"The differences in life are what create the challenges which open the door to discovery."
  








A Prince of Darkness Is a Gentleman
— William Shakespeare