Young Writers Society

I know this is a common thing for Warriors fans to write about, so there has to be at least one other fan-fiction of this on YWS. Rest assured, if you already write about this, I didn't steal ANY of your ideas because I haven't even come across your work yet.


The sun was a ball of fire as it sank lower in the sky towards the horizon. The sky was a rainbow of reds and oranges; an omen for sure. The distant mountains were outlined in a halo of yellow against a purple-black silhouette. Already, the pale form of a full moon was visible on the opposite horizon as it rose, ascending higher into the sky. The Gathering was not far off and Hollyleaf was running out of time. She’d been following Ashfur’s scent trail for most of the afternoon.
The speckled grey tom had been meandering through the trees. Every now and then, Hollyleaf came across some scattered feathers or drops of blood showing where Ashfur had made a kill. Hollyleaf could hear the distant trickle of the stream that bordered WindClan’s territory. She growled under her breath, frustrated that she hadn’t caught up to her Clan mate yet. She couldn’t let Ashfur share the startling secret at the gathering; that she and her brothers weren’t Squirrelflight’s kits.
The same question had plagued her mind since the night of the fire. If Squirrelflight wasn’t her mother, and Brambleclaw wasn’t her father, then who had kitted her? Ashfur wished to reveal Squirrelflight’s secret to every Clan at the Gathering, even though he didn’t know who Hollyleaf’s real parents were. Hollyleaf flexed her claws against the leaf litter in anticipation. She didn’t like what she had to do, but, in her mind, she had no choice. The Warrior Code had to be protected at all costs. Without it, the Clans were no better than a band of rogues.
“It’s for the good of the Clan,” Hollyleaf whispered to herself as the trees began thinning out, giving way to the moorland of WindClan territory.
She spotted Ashfur a few fox-lengths ahead. He was stalking a mouse along the sandy bank. Hollyleaf crouched in the ferns, her tongue rasping over her whiskers as if she was looking at a particularly juicy piece of fresh-kill. Ashfur began moving downstream, the dead mouse he had just killed dangling from his jaws by its tail. Hollyleaf followed a few tail-lengths behind, keeping to the trees and undergrowth.
She’d rolled in a patch of wet grass just before beginning her tracking, carefully hiding her scent from her quarry. As Ashfur padded on with his living shadow, the bank began to grow steeper and the stream flowing faster. Hollyleaf clawed her way up onto a tree stump where she crouched, her black fur bristling while her green eyes flickered. Ashfur moved closer and closer to where Hollyleaf was concealed.
Just a few more paw steps… Hollyleaf willed Ashfur on in her mind, her green eyes narrowed to slits as she waited for the right moment.
“StarClan, forgive me!” Hollyleaf hissed before she sprang, a black blur as she launched herself at Ashfur.
Ashfur let out a startled yowl as Hollyleaf bowled into him. Her claws sank into Ashfur’s shoulders as she clung on while the grey tabby thrashed about, writhing as he tried to throw his attacker off. Hollyleaf reached around, baring her teeth as she snapped for Ashfur’s throat.
Her teeth met flesh, puncturing deep into the throat tissue. Ashfur’s legs crumpled under him and Hollyleaf leapt off him. Ashfur clawed feebly at Hollyleaf, but his strength was leaving his body as quickly as the light from his eyes. His efforts grew weaker as Ashfur died, his spirit leaving his body for death’s final journey.
Hollyleaf nudged Ashfur’s lifeless body over the steep bank to send it tumbling into the stream with a splash. Hollyleaf watched his body bob in the water for a while, a contemptuous sneer plastered across her face.
“It was for the good of the Clan,” Hollyleaf murmured, determined to make herself believe it. It had to be done, Hollyleaf repeated silently.
Ashfur’s body began drifting downstream, bumping against rocks as it went spiraling in the current towards the lake. The pool of blood soon followed. Hollyleaf continued staring into the stream, meeting the gaze of her reflection. She barely recognized herself. The cat that was staring back had cold, merciless green eyes. All traces of her former self were gone. Allowing her bloody claws to slide into sheaths, Hollyleaf licked the blood off her whiskers and began padding back into the trees. The sun was nearly hidden behind the mountains as Hollyleaf headed back to camp. She tried so hard to feel guilty, but the feeling just didn’t come. There was only a cold, gut-clenching feeling that gripped her heart.
Everything will be fine now, Hollyleaf promised herself. ThunderClan and the Warrior Code are safe now.

Wow! I absolutly love this, it actually sounds like something Erin Hunter would write. It really sound like the way Hollyleaf would act. My favorite part would have to be,

his strength was leaving his body as quickly as the light from his eyes.

It just really stood out to me. I really can't come up with any complaints. Keep up the good work.

Erin Hunter could have writen this herself! The description of Ashfur's feeling about Squirrelflight not loving him and trading him for Brambleclaw struck me as touching. Hollyleaf's anger was taken out on Ashfur simply because that was who she thought made Squirrelflight's life even more stressful and miserable. She also killed him simply so he wouldn't tell the other Clans about Squirrelflight not being Lionblaze, Jayfeather, and Hollyleafs' mother. I believe that killing Ashfur was the right thing to do.

Great job on the short story in all. It was a shame that Erin didn't write this part in Sunset. Thanks for the very creative view on a fan's version of Ashfur's death.

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it.

Hi! I really like your story in terms of description and charecterization. Wonderful! However, if I were you I'd change the title. Ashfur's death was a huge deal and someone new to the series may have stumbled apon this, read it and be like MAJOR SPOILER! So please, give a warning or something! change the title to "Hollyleaf's mistake." Well, at least give a warning. Thanks!