For my english literature homework I have to write the opening to a story based on a book I have read. I chose Fallen by Lauren Kate from the perspective of Daniel after he loses Luce before he goes to Sword & Cross school. You don't have to have read the novel to review it. It's only 200 words so there's not much to review but I really feel it could do with some advise. Thanks if you do review!
Daniel gave into the passion that burnt deep in his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her in with avid force. They locked lips fiercely, putting every feeling into that single contact. But the consequences would soon be paid. The Shadows had appeared once more and had started to creep forward, intent on taking away his one love. He tried to hold on tightly, to keep her there with him and break the cycle that they had been cursed to live again and again.
Meet. Love. Kiss. Part
Their lips parted and she slipped from his embrace. He watched helplessly as she disappeared before him once again. Silent tears filled his eyes and threatened to fall down his cheeks. Something had to change. He was tired of losing her, of blaming himself afterwards and waiting seventeen years before they met again. I have to do something that gives her a chance at surviving this time. I have to end up in a place so horrendous that she would never visit it and therefore never see me again. Shaking with emotion he ran from the room to find a deed worthy of getting him into such a place.
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