Young Writers Society

Step forth, warriors!
The battle is at bay,
The enemy is lurking
And trying to find its way.

Stand straight, warriors!
Your honor is your might,
Unsheathe your courage
And Evil shall you smite.

Don't flee, warriors!
Innocent would die,
You are the barricade
And river that won't dry.

Charge forth, warriors!
The time has come,
In the glorious fight
You shall heroes become.

Fight till last, warriors!
You haven't come in vain,
In the death you shall live
Without a feeling of shame.

Rest in peace, warriors!
We'll always be in your debt,
Generations ahead we will live,
Resembling your blood pact.

Very motivational. Has a nice feel to it, like a political speech, or a speech by someone on the eve of battle. It also had a nice, consistent flow which always helps. I think the last line could need some changing, but other than that a nice slice of poetic pie.

Ooh! I like this. Very dramatic indeed. I loved the beat and how powerful it sounded. A very strong voice you have and boy can you use it! I can't seem to find anything I would fix as the poem fits together very well. I love the tone, and I must admit it got me kind of revved up.

Dramatic and powerful. A very good write!

Keep writing!
-Greena

Hi shinda!

Well I liked this poem. The words flowed well and it was nice. Like ajt said it sounded sort of like a political speech or a pep talk that would happen before the battle. I cannot see any faults or changes I would make except I think the last two lines kind of ruin the flow. It was a nice poem and the ending slowed it down a little bit.

But I enjoyed reading this and I am very hopeful to reading more poetry from you in the future!

Deanie x

Hey Shinda!!!!!! Dogs here for your review today. Firstly, i really like this poem. I like the unique rhyming scheme you threw in there because you really never see A, B, C, B rhyming any more. Well props to you for that lol. Anyways my favorite part is your strong imagery you throw in there, this does sound like a motivational speech lol. Anyways the only thing that really bugs me is this:

"You shall heroes become"

Just the order of this kinda throws me off the rhythm. You should try rewording it for example saying "Heroes you shall become" or something like that. Anyways great piece! Keep up the good work!!!!!


TuckEr EllsworTh