Young Writers Society

The wolves are out tonight.

They prowl the streets,
looking for blood,
not satisfied.
They will never be satisfied.

The wolves are out tonight.

They make a simple walk a gauntlet,
a crazy thing only madmen--
or well-armed men,
or fellow wolves--
attempt.

The wolves are out tonight.

They are everywhere,
and no one is safe.

The wolves are out.

God help us all.

I very much like this poem, especially since it's about your walks in the evening. I can really relate to that scared feeling, where everything in the shadows is scary and bad scenarios keep running through my head... So yeah, I can really relate to this.

I like the repition, and simplicity is a lot of the poem, but even so, some strong words would be nice to spice up the imagery and the emotions. Are you paranoid? Afraid? Jumpy? Maybe try looking up some synonyms for fear. Build off the wolf imagery, with some original descriptions. Do you imagine you can hear the howls?

They make a simple walk a gauntlet, a crazy thing only madmen--or well-armed men, or fellow wolves--attempt,

I like the word "gauntlet." This line is good, but I feel it could be spaced differently (I know you said you were torn about the spacing). Since you have the repition of "or" - as in; or well-armed men, or fellow wolves - then maybe you could use spacing to emphasize that part?

Overall I enjoyed this poem. I hope I could help, even if it's only a bit.
Keep writing, please!
-Dai

This sounds sort of like something a group of kids might chant, like the 'the bears are out tonight' rhyme.
I rather liked it really, and it has sort of an eerie twist in the way that the song 'pumped up kicks does'. A laid back attitude with a creepy sort of feel to it. Very well written, and very simply put. I liked it, keep writing!

Hey Fire! Dogs here with your review today! And Insanity shhhh! Pumped up kicks is a terrible song. This poem is really good, I really like the repetition in here but like Daisuki said you should add some imagery in here. Tell us what the wolves look like? What do they act like? Are they ferocious? Are they blood thirsty? How do they movie? What does their breath smell like? What does the air smell like? Is it cold outside? Are you embraced by the dark? These are all questions that you should answer in order to expand upon the topic.

Furthermore, I think that you should break up some lines that are just totally way to long. Like:

"They make a simple walk a gauntlet, a crazy thing only madmen--or well-armed men, or fellow wolves-- attempt."

This line bugs me. Firstly because it is soooo long compared to all the other short and sweet lines and the kind of choppiness you put in here. I only like choppiness if it is through spacing not "--". You should seperate this line a little more so like:

They make a simple walk a gauntlet,
a crazy thing only madmen and
well-armed men
or fellow wolves attempt.

Thats just a suggestion. Really thats all I have to throw at you. Keep up the good work!!!

TuckEr EllsworTh