Young Writers Society

Very well done! More people in the world need to have this outlook on being a christian and seeing a christian . So many times the judging of others, on both sides of the fence, gets way out of hand! Loving each other gets thrown out the window just so peoples pride can grow! It is sad.

I can see your heart in what you have written here, and what I see is very beautiful indeed. I commend you on your point of view and on your writing style.

Thank you for sharing.
~FW~

Having verbally mocked many Christians in my life, this was a little hard to read. Parts were silly, without actually making me laugh, parts were odd, and made me want to stop reading.

For instance:
"Walk all over you as I do to the floor."

What does this mean? I think you need to rephrase this.

One of the things I like about your poem is that it is proud, but aware of the fact that there are a lot of "bad" christians. The last stanza was powerful and makes a good conclusion, but it doesn't rescue the many trite stanzas attempting to hitch their wagon on it. If I were you I would try not to be so literal with your phrasings.

Hello there =] I liked the message of this poem, and here recently I've had a lot of religious disputes with someone. I myself, am questioning whether I'm a Christian on not, but it just drives me bonkers when someone freaks out when another religion is even mentioned in conversation. So Im glad that you pointed out that you're different. =] I found one error, and I'm not sure which line, but you say cares instead of care. Also, The Just because I'm a Christian is a bit too repetitive. I'm not sure what I would do about that though. I really enjoyed this poem and I'm glad that you stood up for what you believe in =]

Wow, there's already soooo many reviews!! You poem speaks a lot of truth that many people disregard. No matter what your religion, the way people treat you shouldn't be based on your beliefs. Although we're human, there are times where we need to accept that people have to right to worship as they please. I love the repetition of "Just because I'm a Christian." It helps us as readers see your point. Keep writing!

Hey there I'm Christian as well, and I can really relate. A lot of people are just like, "So, you're Christian? You hate abortion and gays? You're a right-winged nut? You're going to push your religion onto me?" But that's not it at all. True, there are some people who fit the stereotype perfectly, but most of us don't. It's not a black and white thing, especially not for me (or you, I'm assuming).

Not that I'm a poet or anything, but I noticed that you sort of had a rhyme scheme. There were mostly strong rhymes, but there were two slant rhymes, and I'm not a huge fan of slant rhymes (because I'm weird like that). If you tried re-wording it so that the slant rhymes turned into strong rhymes, I feel like your rhyme scheme would get noticed more, even though you were probably focusing more on the content of this poem.

Another thing (this might just be personal preference, yet again, because I'm no poet and I'm not used to reviewing poetry) is that you repeat "Just because I'm a Christian" a lot. It doesn't look like a lot on paper because it's only the first line of each stanza, but each stanza is only three lines and the lines are pretty short, so I would suggest either making the lines longer or have more lines per stanza.

Other than that, I really appreciate you posting this Keep writing! That is all.

Well said! I think the world needs to learn a few things from this. As well as many Christians. Very, very well said.

Thank you all for the reviews!

I now see why others quote the entire poem in their reviews. It doesn't show up in box down below!:smt091 (It's because there's two pages, but I'd still like to see it. ) So I'm gonna do that, but leave out the parts I don't have comments on. (Which is what I do anyway....)

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm better than you,
Or that my life is worth more than yours

Very true. Many people forget that, and Christians (obviously) get a bad rap for it.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I should condemn you,
Whenever I don't agree with what you do.

Just a note: You spend five stanzas saying essentially the same thing-- that being a Christian doesn't give people a right to be ...nasty.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have to turn the other cheek
When it hasn't had enough time to heal.

...I'm not sure I agree with this. Didn't the apostles allow others to jail and stone them? And did they have time to heal before they were hit again?

I understand your reasoning here, I'm just not sure about the philosophy.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God stupid

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a punching bag,
Or that I'm am here to get bashed over the head.

Very true. People stand up for the gays and the lesbians and the hispanics and the blacks and the mormons and the new age peeps.

What do they do to Christians?

Use them as a punching bag, verbally and physically.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm like the others,
Whom you judge at first glance

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And that I also deserve to have a chance.

Again, true.


Overall, this is an excellent portrayal of who/what Christians are/aren't, though I think it needs some polishing.

Also, you might want to respond to people individually, so they can be notified that their feedback helped. (There's a pretty little pm button on the side of each comment. ^_^)

*sigh* guess im going to have to be the lone party pooper. First of all Christians in America have no place in saying that they're being discriminated against. Unless you are living in an authoritarian country like North Korea or a predominantly (insert religion here) country then you have no room in saying any of the things you addressed. And yes I know you don't say you were discriminated or judged based on your faith anywhere in the poem but it is implied greatly. Second of all the poem is not very well written either. You follow a very basic pattern. "just because im a christian, doesn't mean ******, or that ******. Just because 'm a christian, doesn't mean ****, when *****." No interesting vocab. No interesting metaphors. No interesting imagery. But of course I can't just rip on you this critique. It wouldn't be much of a review if I just ripped on you. Well for one get better themes and think about what you're writing about. According to your profile you're 16. You should know enough about the world to know that Christians have no room in writing these sort of things. Just like white people in Europe have no place in saying "well just because I'm White doesn't mean yaba bladabahh". Second of all use more complex vocabulary. There's no big words, minimal metaphors, and no imagery. I'm not a poem person but I've occasionally read a poem that I actually kinda liked. You know what they all had in common? Big words, lots of cool metaphors, and lots of cool imagery, and weird fucking words.

@ freewritersavvy

Thank you so much! I don't think anyone has said anything so kind about me before!

@inkwell

When someone says they walk all over you, it means that they treat you like dirt and don't care about it. Also, I wanted my sentences to be blunt and to the point, because it came straight from my heart and I wanted to convey my feelings as "authentic" as they are inside of me. That's why I left all of the bells and whistles out of it; all I wanted was for my poem to be understandable.

@tydecker777

Thanks for pointing that out, I will correct it
I wanted those lines to be repetitive because that's just how I wanted it to be, I guess. I like it.

@Butterfinger

Thanks and will do!

@emmylove

Thank you!
It was hard to make things rhyme in some parts without changing the feeling I was trying to convey, and I spent the most time on those. But if I do come up with something better, I will change it

@Vapor

Thanks!

@animekaratepup
That was the main point, but I wanted to address some specific issues, plus saying it's not good to be nasty it too... blunt, for a poem, plus it would be a lot shorter.
The cheek part expresses my feelings that Christians should not be repeatedly abused because their belief system does not allow retaliation. I am not speaking of life and death and stoning. Those are more extreme cases, and not many people stone other people in America
I know I can PM people, but my box is full enough, and that's not how I do it. I just reply to everyone on my post.

@skwaag5233

I wrote this from my heart and it is about things I have witnessed and experienced. I know that many, MANY Christians are very nasty and pompous, worse than the people they condemn, and it paints a picture that Christians are rude, ungrateful haughty people. Yes, many Christians have no right to talk about being judged and persecuted because their demeanor is ugly. People have been very, very nasty to me and my friends because they found out I was a Christian. I never did anything to them, and most of the time barely knew them, let alone their names, but the bad example Christians have brought upon themselves leaves me little choice as to how people picture me. But that doesn't mean I can't express this, express how I feel about being judged and mistreated by others for the mistakes of someone else. It hurts to be judged, Christian or not.
This poem does not have the advanced vocabulary, imagery and diction that my other poems have because that is not at all what I wanted. Believe me, I am an imagery addict. if your poem has little or no imagery, I will point that out first, plus I just love to draw and create pictures and scenes in my head. I wanted the repetition and the simple words just to convey my feelings, not to have a grade "A" poem. I did that on purpose, and they seem to have served their purpose, which was to get the majority of my readers to understand what is trying to be conveyed.
Thank you for your input.

Love. Love. Love. That is all... well, not quite. I love the fact that it isn't completely polished. It makes this feel so much more real. While having a poem with long words and fancy description suits works in many poems, the simplicity is what makes this one so special. There is so much emotion put into this, and I relate to nearly all of it. As one of the only Christians in my school, I completely understand where you are coming from.
Thank you for putting this into words. It truly echoes what is in my heart, and from the other posts here, what is in the hearts of so many.
-Alz

@Alz

Thank you so much! I am glad that you understand.

This is beautifully written and expresses some of the thoughts that gather in my mind sometimes. Very good job!!!

I ADORED this poem. I love the meaning it has behind it, I love everything you said in it, and it was wonderfully written. Awesome job.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm better than you,
Or that my life is worth more than yours Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I can trample you,
Walk all over you as I do to the floor.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I should condemn you,
Whenever I don't agree with what you do Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have the right
To scoff and spit and throw insults at you.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a jerk,
Or cares nothing about how others feel Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I have to turn the other cheek
When it hasn't had enough time to heal.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean it's okay to mock my beliefs,
Or to call them and my God stupid Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm a punching bag,
Or am here to get bashed over the head.

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean I'm like the others,
Whom you judge at first glance Period

Just because I'm a Christian
Doesn't mean you should forget I'm human,
And also deserve to have a chance.

That poem was awesome. Well done.