Young Writers Society

I never meant for it to happen,
But my walls fell down
In your warm embrace.
And now I'm fragile.

Please be careful..

Awww this is kind of me in a way hehe. I liked it because it shows truth in its words. The one thing I don't like is the shortness of it....but it looks good just as it is XD. That's my opinion. Try to add more to it there are many different ways to write more to this and make it turn out even more gripping than it is now...But this is a very well done piece. A tip to adding describe the fragile things....describe what things could make you fall apart....things like that. Anyways good job and keep up the good work. Happy Writing and Best of Wishes. I hoped I helped in some way and may you get many helpful reviews.

Soulkana<3

Wow! It's really short yet meaningful. I loved it! hahaha

How am I supposed to write a 1,000 character review for this? XD


......guess I'll have to get creative, then. (I can do that.)


All of this is so true. So many people are resistant to love, either because they've gotten hurt and don't want to be hurt again, or because they've seen other people get hurt and don't want it to happen to them. (Or they've actually taken someone's warnings to heart for a change, or they're scared of what their parental authorities will do to them. )


But, when confronted with love, it' hard to resist, and many people crumble like coffee cake. ;3


And yes, the human heart is so very, very fragile. I often think those last two lines about my relationships with my friends-- they may not be romantic, but they can sure still hurt a whole dang lot.


Overall, this was rather beautiful-- short and sweet-- and I think it would be good if it were possible for you to expand upon this.


Really, thanks for posting this-- I sincerely enjoyed reading it.

I liked the way you were able to tell a lovely story in just a few words. I always think it would be interesting to write a really short poem like yours, but I'm not brave enough. So kudos for being brave and giving it a shot! I'm not going to say build on it, because I assume you meant for it to be that short- if you wanted it long, you would have made it longer, right? So... I enjoyed this.
PS: And your avatar is really cute... just sayin' there...

Hello there,

My first advice just looking at this would obviously be to expand this and perhaps make it longer (it was very short!) Still I really liked this it was very meaningful and the few words that you did write were very true, pure and really got the message across to the reader which really does show the power of the written word. I think this is really special and there is a big meaning behind this that takes effort to understand. I think this is a really powerful piece of writing that really makes people stop and think.

From Cute Jack Russell

Wow, this was surprisingly short. xD This is like the shortest poem I've ever read as far as I can remember. But you did a nice job.

The thing that stood out about this except the shortness is its straightforwardness and simplicity. The reader, if he/she took his/her time reading line by line, can easily feel the emotion in it. The only thing that seems to bother me is the two-dot ellipsis at the end. Personally, I think it's too informal. o.o I think it would be better if you just made it three dots.

Well, I've nothing else to say except to never stop writing!

This poem is really short, but somehow you still manage to fit so much emotion into it. With only a few lines, I was able to understand what was happening. That is a difficult thing to do, so awesome job with that! I know whenever I write a poem, they are four or five stanzas at least
Since it is so short, there is not much to critque. Everything looks good to me
My only suggestion, and this is really just a personal opinion, but if I was writing this poem for the last line I probably would have written, "So, please be careful..." instead. I guess it is just whatever you like.
Anyways, beautiful poem. You have some great talent!

QARA QUEEN + sister!

This is really different from your other super short poem. I liked this one a lot more Mainly because it was abbit longer, and we kind of get a glimpse to the story behind it. But only getting a glimpse implies to me that I need to think of a story behind it myself, which is really interesting. I like the last line: please be careful. It's exactly what you would say to someone handling something fragile. I think you had a good choice of title there

Deanie x