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Young Writers Society


An Angel's Omen



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28 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2340
Reviews: 28
Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:29 am
Seraph says...



The silence echoes as if you are not.
But no matter what, I shall face the sinful lot.
I will show all the forces, that even one man,
Has the willpower that proves he can.
And love it seems is almost lost.
For our hearts grow weary in the deafening frost.

The life we know may be bitter, but save another day.
Because tomorrow may not come, our love would just decay.
If I look not like I possess faith,
Then let me assure you, I am not tempted by that wraith.
For the morrow speaks with effervescent call,
That even the fearless shall soon fall.

Who am I but a man?
But what I bestow upon all is my plan.
I speak to the Earth and its seven seas!
Bring the sinners to their knees!
The morrow lives in flesh and blood.
The angels have sung that I am no dud.

Foolish all of you! Humans alike!
You haven’t a clue about his Fourth Reich!
To take over the heavens, the seas, the skies,
Not just this realm, but the others by lust bound lies.
Do not ever fret.
For sin is not what I beget.

So take heed through the silence and its toll!
The winds of knowledge may steal your soul!
Not unless you find the true light.
Not the star, but Heaven, so bright.
Do not trust his silver tongue.
Soon to be here, the warning I’ve sung!
  





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153 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1532
Reviews: 153
Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:41 am
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AngelKnight900 says...



Wow, i really got to learn how not to be sooo speechless when I see a good work of literature. This was amazing and I seriously wish I could say more but it's just good. The only question I would ask is it to warn those who commit sin or does it push people to keep doing it? Please PM me the answer. Other than that, I really liked reading this poem. It was very well written. Keep writing.
True confidence leaves no room for jealousy. When you know your are great, you have no need to hate.
-Nicki Minaj
  





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28 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2340
Reviews: 28
Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:55 am
Seraph says...



Stop sinning if you have a strong soul.
Continue committing fallacies for condemnation.
"At this very instant, I augment the spacetime that permeates and weaves our beings."
  





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141 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3175
Reviews: 141
Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:42 pm
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Daisuki says...



UWAH!! Your poems are awesome!
I love how you rhyme, but sometimes ya might want to be careful of the flow and the words you use to rhyme. But you do a great job with that. I love how this poem has a lot of weight, and I think you placed the exclamation marks well.

So take heed through the silence and its toll!
The winds of knowledge may steal your soul!
Not unless you find the true light.
Not the star, but Heaven, so bright.
Do not trust his silver tongue.
Soon to be here, the warning I’ve sung!


^ I liked this stanza a lot, but I think the second exclamation mark might be better with a period. Otherwise, your rhyming and rhythm is great, and the emotion is like FWAAA!!

~ Dai
Oh, I wish I was punk-rocker with flowers in my hair.
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 956
Reviews: 1
Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:36 pm
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Skay13 says...



I really liked this alot, it's a great work and I enjoyed reading it. The only problem I could come up with is sometimes the flow threw me off. Other than that, excellent. Your word usage is absolutely sublime. This was truely beautiful.
  





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37 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 805
Reviews: 37
Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:49 pm
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JudyG710 says...



Well said Skay. I agree, except for the flow thing. I liked the flow of it. But that is just my opinion. Great job with this mi Pateessa! Your poems are always deep and emotional, but most of all, they are all really great to read. I can't wait to read your next one. XD Keep writing, and may the Force be with you, mi Pateessa! <3
"Always believe in yourself. Do this, and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear." - Baron Humbert von Gikkingen
JudyG <3
  





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31 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 897
Reviews: 31
Sat Dec 03, 2011 2:11 am
ZombieSquirrel says...



Damn mate, your talent is scary! Flow, grip, power, sophistication, this had it all. I also loved the title: "An Angels Omen" So profound! Utter brilliance mate, I can't really nit pick at anything in particular, because it's been done so well. Great job. Keep it up!
  








In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
— Robert Frost