Young Writers Society

Narrow-minded I shall never be;
black and white I won't ever see through.
Grey inbetween many find comfort;
but I cannot live in such a misty haze.

I search for colours;
the rosy-reds on the cheeks of laughter,
the golden twinkle of the sun up high,
the glistening silver shimmers,
across the ocean below the stars,
and the breathtaking soft pink
shading the sky as we greet darkness.

I search for colours;
the tranquil blues of the trickling streams,
the blazing orange of the raging fires,
the light brown of the rocking-horse,
still swaying with childhood memories,
and the luminous yellow of the fire-crackers
lighting up with the laughter around the camp-fire.

It is the colours I search for.
I gamble that it is there,
I shall find the joy in life.

That's a really good poem here! It "rings" good, you use very beautiful words, but most of all I loved the message that goes out to the reader. I agree with your point of view so I could say I like it very much. Keep up the good work!:D

I liked the poem's metaphorical base, the stanzas were good, but the first stanza bothered me. The word order was switched around. I'm sure you had your reasons for doing that, but when I read it, it felt too old-fashioned and melodramatic. The rest of the poem was good, though. The way in which you matched colours to scenes, objects and emotions was great. Keep going, I like it!

Hi!
I really liked your poem. I could feel the desire to find joy in the beauty that is surrounds us. I liked the use of colours too. All in all I didn't see anything wrong with your poem.

Hey Blossom! Dogs here for your review! I really liked this piece, it has a nice flow to it and i like the idea of searching for colors. I don't know if i am crazy (which i am) or just stupid (which i also am) because i don't know what "colours" means. Did you mean "colors" because that would make more sense lol. Anywho! I also enjoy the strong metaphor you revolve this poem around. It reminds me of Death in the book "The Book Thief". Really my only criticism is that when you say:

"Across the ocean below the stars,"

This line would sound soooo much better if you put in "skies" instead of "stars" because "skies" rhymes with high and it would make this stanza flow a lot better.

Well apart from that this is good and i like it, keep up the good work!


TuckEr EllsworTh