Young Writers Society

she's got eyes like the moonlit midnight
off the coast of a summer paradise.

she's got hips like the tumbling pacific waves,
shaking up a cyclone as she moves.

she's got caramel skin like the truffles you eat,
spotless like the immaculate halls of the king's palace.

she stands before him, the belly dancer,
twisting his frown to a wrinkled smile.

does her majesty know? you daren't ask
'cause the king will have you dead straight.

she's got an ass to murder any man afoot
as she sways; a shiny sword to kill a king...

OMG!!!!! MIKKO! You are officially in my top 10 favorite poets of YWS. Your vast variation of different poems you write and all in different formatting. You have written emotionally, imagery, and you have written a story. You sometimes rhyme but it dosn't matter because you don't need any rhymes to sound AMAZING! You are fantastic!!!!!! Hope you get featured!!! Keep up the good work!


TuckEr EllsworTh

An interesting viewpoint on a belly dancer. Being one myself, I never thought of it that way before. Your title certainly snared my attention, as soon as I saw it. I never expected to read something that puzzled me and made me think so much. Very nicely done. I like your free verse structure, it suits the focus of your topic. A couple of phrases have me a little confused, but that may also be my sheer exhaustion crippling me.

does her majesty know? you daren't ask
'cause the king will have you dead straight.

means...what? Something about the queen, I'm assuming.

Very well written. I like it!

Yo Mikko! Wow, just...wow. XD I really really like this. The one tiny problem I have with this is the repetition of "she's got," I've never really been a fan of the whole repetition through every line thing, but it's nothing but a personal preference. The imagery in this just turns it into something completely unique; you definitely have some beautiful lines here. Overall, this is just great.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Mikko!

Okay. Okay. I'm reviewing one of your works. Plus, I just got to see a picture of you in YWS.
Darn it. Your pretty man! ^.^

Anyway, back to topic. Belly Dancer was awesome! I was actually singing it. Not reading it. Lol xD
Are all your poems the same, awesome one's? I mean really. WOW! BOOM!POW! :"D

I loved this stanza. *.*

Mikko wrote:she's got hips like the tumbling pacific waves,
shaking up a cyclone as she moves.

she's got caramel skin like the truffles you eat,
spotless like the immaculate halls of the king's palace.

Very inspiring and a different topic.! ^.^
You've got the talent, for sure.

Overall: Maybe a 10/10 for this? Yeah, sure. Let's go ahead with 10/10. YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY ;D

Cookie (Y)