Young Writers Society

Allow me to introduce myself,
Physician prescribed hazard to your health.
Need an escape? I'm the gate
I accept all applicants and never discriminate

Make this move and it’s no game.
One weak moment and I'll drive you insane.
ravage your body; control your mind.
own you completely; you become mine.

You desert your family, destroy your home.
Abort your future to become desperate, and alone.
I'll take and take, till nothings left
And you don't recognize yourself

To forget these regrets you gotta stay high
and the need is physical so you steal and lie
or its voices, visions, sweats and shakes
nothing else matters, you do what it takes

No happy endings, because in your heart,
You belong to me, till death do us part.
Call it recovery only the desire never dies.
I’ll leave you shipwrecked, phoenix can you rise?

In general, I think that this was very well written! What impressed me the most were your rhymes; they didn't seem silly or forced. I actually didn't even notice the rhymes at first because this flowed so smoothly. So kudos to that.

Now about the subject.. it's an interesting ( and I mean that in a positive way ) thing to write about. The topic of addiction can spiral into many directions, and I like where you went here. I can relate to this very well, and I'm sure others will too.
I've lost a lot of people, physically and mentally, to drugs. Especially pills. It's a terrible thing, to watch somebody get so dependent on something so small.

My only concern is that this seems like mainly a negative perspective. If that was your intentions, then just ignore this paragraph. But know that prescription pills can be beneficial, if they aren't abused. Some people aren't as lucky as others; they have chemical/hormonal imbalances in their brain and it affects their mental state dramatically. They have feelings or delusions that they honestly just can't control on their own. They can't level out those imbalances without some help here and there.

But overall, great poem. I understand your message and I like how it was delivered. Please continue writing, and have a good evening!

Thank you for your review. I've lost so many people to drug abuse and to be honest I detest it. Thanks again!