what do you call it when another guy's arm is hugging you close,
under a single umbrella, when it's pouring down?
and you love the rain so you try to squirm out of his grasp yet he
pulls you closer, tighter, nearer to his warm shelter?
cheating?
putting two aces down and saying they're tens?
(clubs, not hearts)
and you're laughing so intensely, talking so together.
i love the rain
is it like...a sexual thing for you?
god yes. i'm joking.
that was so sincere, god yes.
you're talking of water from the sky, hardened nipples and paris.
should i feel ashamed?
it felt too sporadically good to provoke the usual spasms of guilt i get.
is it wrong to laugh with another guy
(who looks so much psychically better
than my one twenty hours in the opposite direction)
on a plane trip, when i look my rock-bottom worst:
flaky skin,
greasy hair,
ten minutes' sleep?
to let him read snippets of my journal when it is the translation of my mindbodysoul?
and him amazed by poetic phrases, smiling at me.
yet the eyes held nothing.
i felt so close to touching his lips with my fingertips then my own, and
watching anything spark in his intelligent browns.
your head was bolted in another position. my shame would be in vain.
i long for it to be wrong, for it to be cheating.
['sweetheart you're a badchick with all those hairflicks, those cheaptricks.']
i want to latch jealousy onto your eyes (they're lonelyheartcoffee).
youandidrunk on a hot main road in the middle of autumn, with your life in your pockets
and your shrapnel clinking in your hands.
himandisober on a freezing paris street in the middle of spring turned upside down, with his
umbrella and chunky watch slipping and sliding.
youandherhigh on a crisp dirt track in the middle of winter, with her jewellery choking her
and your guitar pick restless in your fingers.
himandhernaturallyhigh on a freshly mowed lawn in the middle of summer, with her hair
springing up and down and his heart doing the same.
sorry.
(but i'm not.)
written: Saturday 11th December 2004, 9:50pm.
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 321