Young Writers Society

Howdy.


About Last Night...

The powerlines separate us from silence,
Buzzing, though we werent sure in which direction.
A backyard and a faint light, a different light,
Discussing a week without the sun.

The ground littered with empty cans,
Full of unrecognized thoughts of you in disguise.
Cigarette smoke paints vague invisibility,
I wanted to breathe you in back then.

And about last night, i could've sworn you were there.
Or maybe it was lack of sleep, you have the same effect.

The clouds cover the stars, as i ponder,
Could an unwritten law still be woven into the sky?
Or would that be the contradiction we needed,
To bring ourselves back into focus.

And about last night, i could've sworn you were there.
Or maybe it was lack of sleep, you have the same effect.

We spoke nothing of it and its best that way,
To pretend that pretending is a surprising thought.
So after all when the powerlines save us,
We end up not needing them at all.

Great. There's the occassional grammatical error but the concept was really good and it was very well-written. I especially like the symbollism: city environment entwined with the idea of a person. Nice work.

you must be some kind of muse. I read the title when I was searching for something and I spawned an entire poem, nothing like yours, but still. wierd huh? I think I posted under two plus two will never equal four. and the Inspiration of a single word (I think that one's yours too), spawned Mind Musing.

but on to you poem, I finally got to read it and I enjoyed it very much. I really like how you repeated lines. My favorite part was the first and last stanza's they really stood out in my mind.

cheers and keep on writing.
CL

i like it i Agree with laundrette about the 1st and 2nd stanza i really injoyed it and can't wait to read more of you're poems

I liked it, not sure why you're repeating a stanza but I hardly noticed and it wasn't bad, so good job!