Young Writers Society

bouts pour le petit mort

the best kept secrets are unkempt, unkept, and unwept:
lullabies lukewarm deep in denim jeans – the best laid plans of mice and men
are hidden in the bottom draw with the pictures of old girlfriends – the x files –
admist the dogeyed-eared concertmovietickets dyed-ona-septembersizzlingember


if i tied you up would you scream for me? all hallowlikesaviorliketruelove splitting your
lips open - red and dripdripdripping

if i held you open your wingspan stretched far passed it poppingpoint
and reeled your fingers back in, a pressurepoint for the pressurechief
would you call me all those littlelies and dance this pathetic petitnoir-petitmort?

the blindfoldblindgag over your senses muffle the sound you make when i ask you
simply to look inside your self and not at yourself – all you seem to understand is that these
confusing verbal linguistics aren’t questions but hurdles and i’m a smoking gun. – or so
you tell me.

if i rambled on just long enough to put us on the edge of a knife, would you take my
picture, a polaroid, and slip it into your dreams?

would you call for me? even crawl for me in this petit mort - a poor man’s tango – our
limbs and hearts sprawled out on rubyred silkenspreads pinpricking each other in hopes
of getting out.


the snake always quarrels with his s(kin: afraid of it’s own fangs, it’s own worth – you
are that to me. stuck between pictures and secrets and morbid little petit mort noires of
the soul.

I really like this. Again you've managed to create a wonderfully original piece with a good backing idea. However, I reckon this one could flow a little better, especially at the beginning. The ideas need to be joined more, they're not introduced with a smooth flow. Anyway, good work!

thanks dear...

yeah I wasn't too estatic about the first stanza, I played with some other ideas and changed it, abit.

cheers CL

Its funny, that reminded me of part of a book I'm reading for English class. Its called The Chocolate War and the way it describes one of the defining aspects of one of the main characters is exactly how I feel about this piece. Basically, it says that the boy named Archie was watching an old Marx brothers movie one night and one of the scenes was Groucho and Chico looking for something. "We'll search every room in the house," says Groucho. Chico replies, "What if it 'aint in the house?" So Groucho says, "We'll look in every room in the house nextdoor." Chico says, "What if there 'aint no house nextdoor?" The answer Groucho gives is quite simple. "We'll build one." They go on to draw up plans for a house. So anyway, that is what the character does, he builds the 'house' that no one sees any use for, or the point in it except the guy 'builds' it. This describes your writing perfectly. Its kinda hard to explain how, but please take it as a compliment. Sorry if that was extremely confusing, I just had to say it for some wierd reason.

Anyway, point is that this piece is excellent as always. Way to be.