Young Writers Society

Folded in my arms you're a butterfly in reverse
Giving up your wings to deliver my curse
Your letting go of
Me.

Your letting go to
Sail to an island unknown
Failing to find your way back home
You walk underneath a sea
Leagues beneath away from
Me.

All these perfect days, made of glass
Put on the shelf where they can cast
Perfect shadows that stretch and grow
On the imperfect days down below.

This is a really well-written poem! I really enjoyed it. The flow was good except it was sort of interupted at these two parts:

Your letting go of
Me.

Leagues beneath away from
Me.

I understand that it was done purposely, so I wouldn't actually change it, but maybe see if you can make it flow a little better.
Otherwise it was really enjoyable

Ok thanks for the suggestion! I'll figure something out









TuckEr EllsworTh

Ok here are the corrections you suggested. I dont think i like it any better but do tell me what you guys think

Folded in my arms you are a butterfly in reverse
Giving up your wings to deliver my curse
Your letting go of me.

Your letting to
Sail to an island unknown
Failing to find your way back home
Leagues beneath away from me.

All these perfect days, made of glass
Put on a shelf where they can cast
Perfect shadows that stretch and grow
On the perfect days down below.



TuckEr EllsworTh

Actually, yeah it doesn't make a huge difference so I would just leave it however you like

REMASTERED! with few grammatical and punctuation corrections. Please tell me all if you like this way or the first way better. thanks!

Folded in my arms you are a butterfly in reverse,
Giving up your wings to deliver my curse
Your letting go of me.

Your letting go to
Sail to an island unknown,
Failing to find your way back home
Leagues beneath away from me.

All these perfect days, made of glass
Put on a shelf where they can cast
Perfect shadows that stretch and grow
On the perfect days down below.




TuckEr EllsworTh

Locked. Plagiarized.

Poetry is from Maggie Stiefvater's "Linger."