Young Writers Society

dedicated to my two friends Julian and Bala. i still don't find it fair you left me like this. where ever you are remember i always do love you...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i just wanted to put the poem down here. its open to comments. thank you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boulevard of Life

She let her fingers feel the texture,
Hard, strong, firm and bold.
Eye moist she looked up-
Her way to freedom
It wasn’t going to be easy
Nor hard…

The morning light filtered
Through the pane, illuminating
Her mammoth task.
Would she do it?
Her only immunity to life?

She tugged at the rope
Making sure her escape was made.
The confined tears rushed now
When she was so close
She tried to force back her sob,
No use crumbling down now.

Would it hurt?
A new fear was creeping as
She climbed on to the top of the bed.
Would death?
For months she had been preparing
For this one day;
When everything would stop hurting her.
Life after death…bliss!

She was startled out of her trance
Her cell was buzzing.
With a shake she picked it up
‘hello?’ it was her best friend
Asking her how she was.
They spoke for hours long,
She had got it all wrong.

Who said no one understood her?
Who said there was only pain?
She had a friend out there
Who loved and cared.
And many more to cherish
To love back…

The rope back down,
Tears wiped
A smile lit the room.
Death wasn’t the path after all
Suicide wasn’t.

If you had someone to love
How beautiful is the boulevard of life!

I read your poem over and over again to find out the story within. Then i knew. The persona wants to kill herself, because of the thought that no one care about her. Somehow, her friend become the savior when the friend called her. This poem is beautiful. Through your poem, i can sense the sorrow that slowly faded by the love of a friend.

If you had someone to love
How beautiful is the boulevard of life!

This is so true.

Awh! I really liked your poem. There seems to be so many words in it, its cluttered. I't shouldn't be. I know you are going through a journey writing this poem. I think that is the reason why people write poetry. It is comforting. It gives solstice. It actually reminds me of a poem i once wrote and it is up on my page in my poetry portfolio if you would like to read it. I think its a good idea to read works of other like yours. You learn a lot from seeing how people deal with the same topic. I wish you the best with it. Your poems really good

Manisha, I sincerely apologize for only getting to your poem now. I neglected my review thread for a few months along with YWS because I had been busy. However, you did mention you wanted a review for this piece in general and here I am. Better late than never, correct?

Your poem is very sad, it makes my heart ache because I've had friends in the past who have also thought that suicide was the only road that could save them from life itself. It's a dark and lonely path to go down and there have been dark times in my life where I also thought the path itself was an option but I remember why I am living and that life does through it's curve balls at us and the only thing we can do is push forward and be strong.

The piece has emotion but for a poem, or a lyric poem, I don't really find a flow to anything. I don't think there really is a momentum of balance to it, which is alright considering that it probably comes from your heart but after that, try to make it musical and give it that balance and flow that poems normally have. Then again, I'm not exactly a poem expert so don't really take my 'normal poem' as anything quite seriously. My knowledge on that subject alone is quite ridiculous. ^^

Anyway, keep writing and please, let me make up for my tardiness. PM me with another request and I promise to get it done ASAP. If not, no need to get permission to punch me in the face.

All the best!

-Pink