Young Writers Society

The Wind Was Still
The Light Turned Night
Holding Onto You So Tight
The Warmth Of Your Body
Made Me Glow
As You Clouded Me With A Dark Green Throw.

Walking Me Back In The Dark
Was The Moment You Broke My Heart.
Telling Me That Its The End.
The Thought Just Drove Me Round The Bend
One Last Kiss And Off You Go
As I Stand Still All Alone.

Days Of Depression Soon Followed
Because Of Your Harsh Words That I Swallowed
Taking In Your Every Word
At Least The Ones That I Longed Not To Have Heard.

But Dont Think That This Is The End
You Have Not Got Away So Easlily My Friend.
You Stole My Heart That Was Once Mine.
Well Ha Now Its My Time To Shine.
Im Taking Back What I Once Lost.
And Will Fight At Any Cost.

Standing On The Battle Of Surrender.
No One Will Be Your Deffender.
I Have Won You Have Failed.
As I Walk Away I Hear You Wailed.

I Love You.

This is a very well written poem! Thank you for sharing it with us! However, I have found a few minor errors and/or questionable parts. Throughout this poem, I've noticed that every single word began with a capital letter. And also, there was very little punctuation, almost as if entire stanzas could be read as sentences. Did you do this purposely and, if so, may I ask why? On another note, I love how your emotions tell such a story from the beginning to the end of this magnificent work! I suggest that you keep writing!

Once again, thank you for sharing your poem with all of us.

I thought that it was a good poem, though it could use a little bit of work. Every poem has a beat, like a song, and sometimes I felt that beat was missed, but you kept to it very well, a lot better then some others that I have read before. I would suggest, though, making things a little less obvious. The amazingness (is that a word? I don't think so...well it is now!) of poems is the complete mystery of them. Using metaphores is your best friend in this type of writing! So is doubled meanings! But, overall, it was very enjoyable and I would love it if you would post more.

Wow. Hi Sianniiee.

Geez! You're really talente. You made this flow magically. Pure art and I mean it. O.O Though, it could look more professional; You forgot some apostrophes, and I noticed some lines have punctuation and others don't, I'd work on that, remember that making your poems look uniform counts. Another thing is that you used Upper cases in every word. Is that a type of poetry? XD Just wondering, I don't know much. But I think it goes against grammar. Lol. If you have your reasons of why how you wrote it is right, then ignore me. But being totally honest, I wouldn't change a word in this poem. You're a really talented writer.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

~Solly<3