Young Writers Society

Hey everyone,
this is just a poem i made up on one of my pessimistic days.
Hope you like it

Life isn’t fair
Life is dark but light
But you got to care
And you got to fight

Life isn’t perfect
And god chooses your fate
It’s a time waste to love
And it’s a time waste to hate

Love wasn’t ideal
And it wasn’t right
Although it killed time
It was more of a fight

Laughing just to show
That everything’s fine
A way to hide
Your hearts pine

Life has no path
Nor has a purpose
Deep down it's just sorrow
But it's great on the surface

I'll never get the point
Of why life was made
To me, it's a torture to creatures
A joy disguised in a blade

Hi there sharitm2

Hahah. I've gotta say that your poem isn't completly pessimistic, you managed to look on the brightside in almost every stanza. I love the way it flows, even though it's not a funny poem, it made me smile cause it has its beauty. I love the end. Just remember that you should start the word "God" with an uppercase, since it's a name. You did a great job!

Keep Writing!

~Solly<3

Wow, this is really good! I love the way you use words, almost... not abstractly or differently exactly, but... I don't quite know. I liked it, though! Great poem. You write very well! I wasn't terribly fond of the first stanza, but it grew progressively better and better. Never stop writing! <3

Poetry is just as much about the delivery than the words. All good poetry stands up to being read aloud, it's literature with more drama than structure (As a brute point). Try to experiment with how punctuation can shape the meaning of your work, as well as stressing phrases over others, its the mechanic that gives your poetry a kind of "texture" when read.