Young Writers Society

Open your eyes.
Wipe those tears
and fake a smile.
Live a lie.

Be cheerful all the while.
Because no one is there,
to listen to you.
No one to wipe your tears.

Stop them from flowing.
These tears won't help you.
People can't be bothered,
with you, who is useless.

Who will look at you?
Nobody.
Who will care for you?
Nobody.

They only think of themselves,
in this cruel, evil world.
Their problems are what matter.
Not you and your silly feelings.

If you smile,
they won't notice.
But your rare frown;
they think it's always there.

You've tried your best,
to be what they want.
So laugh along now.
Live a lie.

Hey, I think that you actually hit the dot on that one. The world really is like that. I did not see any grammar problems or spelling problems. However, it is a bit redundant. You may want to change a few words so that it doesn't constantly repeat itself. I like it because it explains a lot about the world.

Hi there!!
I liked how you said what you wanted to say and didn't leave out anything. Everyone can relate to this and those you say that they don't, then they are telling a lie. *thumbs up*

HarryPotterRocks wrote:Open your eyes.
Wipe those tears
and fake a smile.
Live a lie.

I like this opening stanza very much.

HarryPotterRocks wrote:Be cheerful all the while.
Because no one is there,
to listen to you.
No one to wipe your tears.

The while in the first sentence does not sound right in that particular place. And in the third line, the "to" is repeated after a small interval so it seems a bit awkward while reading.

HarryPotterRocks wrote:Stop them from flowing.
These tears won't help you.
People can't be bothered,
with you, who is useless.

I think it should be "by you" rather than "with you" and the "who is useless" part does not fit in well. Whom are you referring by "who"? Yourself?

I hope this helped you. And yippie, this was my first review.
And I loved you poem.

Hey There -
THis was very touching to read. You learn a lot. There is a flow, and I am all about rhythm, but I can't put my finger on it... 'Live a Lie' doesn't follow a distinct, predictable, song like pattern... And it's intriguing...!
Your opening stanza is an eye catcher.

Open your eyes.
Wipe those tears
and fake a smile.
Live a lie.

Liked it a lot...
In stanza three, may I suggest avoiding the use of 'who'? I stumbled a bit when I came across that one... Maybe 'you're' or 'you are' would be better?... just a suggestion...

If you smile,
they won't notice.
But your rare frown;
they think it's always there.

This told a lot of truth. Just wanted to point that out.

Good work, HPR, loved it. Keep it up!!!
Best Regards -
IamHathor22

This is a good poetry I like it, it makes me want to cry hope you keep this up it's really good keep going

Best one I've read over here Really nicely scripted, you didn't need any fancy adjectives or even colors to light up the poem. The sheer truth that you define in it makes it a wonder alone. Great job