Young Writers Society

The sorrow you feel
When you understand,
There’s no one to help you or haunt you.

The pain that’s inside
When you realize,
That sensation can no longer taunt you.

That feeling you get
When temptation draws near,
that makes you go mad with craze.

Though by now I should know,
You reep what you sow,
And you’ll be mine
One of these days.

I feel as though this should be a two verse poem, because of where you put your rhymes. I think the whole thing may have flowed better if it were two, because I was taking pauses where the lines broke up, and that breaks up the rhymes. But that's just a personal preference. I couldn't find any other fault with the rhythm, although somehow it flows better when you read it out loud, but that's always a good thing. You started it and ended it very well, it felt finished, wrapped up and tied with a bow at the last line. The last stanza is my favourite, the rhythm was perfect, and the rhymes were great. I don't get why the title is 'disappointment', when the end seems quite happy, as though the person is happy with the fact that she'll be with the person she loves. It's probably really obvious and I just can't see it, but for now I'm a little unsure. The entire poem as a whole was brilliant, so great job!
-Anna

Ooh! Nice ending -I really liked it. There length of the poem was nice; real short, and I didn't have to read a lot. The beginning was okay, but by the third stanza everything was just... I don't know, just kind of there? It didn't really make me feel anything. The ending really was the only part that was interesting out of it all. It was just flat.
Anyway, maybe that's just me.
Keep it up!
TSM

Ooh! Nice ending -I really liked it. There length of the poem was nice; real short, and I didn't have to read a lot. The beginning was okay, but by the third stanza everything was just... I don't know, just kind of there? It didn't really make me feel anything. The ending really was the only part that was interesting out of it all. It was just flat.
Anyway, maybe that's just me.
Keep it up!
TSM