z

Young Writers Society


Lucifer's Angel



User avatar
13 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1436
Reviews: 13
Tue Nov 08, 2011 4:14 pm
TheGuiltyOne says...



Forlorn to the core,
You make a lost soul less lonelier.
To the world a complete stranger,
Because of the mask you put on.
Pharisee to humanity,
Showing no gratitude towards Deity.
A day always too late for penance,
An intentional move in disguise?


Avenging for the Hell's demon,
You call yourself a warrior.
With a sword made for one purpose,
Not to eliminate the evil, but to regenerate one.
Stabbing everyone in sight,
You live the life of a harlot.
You hold anger towards the mighty,
Because you think He loathes your soul.


Counting the days to end this entity,
You proceed to being a demon.
Questioning the words of God,
You continue to believe in satanism.
Death doesn't scare you,
Because you think the Devil will protect you.
The wind whispers one last time,
Therefore they call you Lucifer's angel.
  





User avatar
13 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1890
Reviews: 13
Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:29 pm
poweroflove says...



Amazing powerful poetry. This is a very good piece of work. =] I do feel there is a dark side behind every corner, so it's always good to become aware of it.

I enjoyed this piece, very much, so keep up the good work. =]

-pol;
Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
  





User avatar
532 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 1271
Reviews: 532
Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:01 pm
GeeLyria says...



Hi there TheGuiltyOne.

I like this a lot. You managed to word your poem in a dramatic way and that counts. :) It flows, it's creative and catchy. Though, I'd work a little bit with the first stanza. Make it a bit stronger and more original than the others. After all, remember that's the one who hooks the reader into your writing.

Great job!

~Solly<3
Noob is a state of being, not a length of time. ~Ego

"Serás del tamaño de tus pensamientos; no te permitas fracasar."
  








An existential crisis a day keeps the writer's block away <3
— LadyBug