Young Writers Society

This is one of the first poems that I have written..so it's a bit short.. Hope you guys like it!


Is that why I never got the truth?
Is that why you never answered me?
If you could see it -- why not break it,
Rather than let me love set in?
Love that you knew you could never return.
Why lie?

I now know the truth you never gave.
I now know the answer to all the questions you have ignored.
I knew you saw it.
But I will never know why you let my love stay.
Why lie?

Well as far as first poems go this isn't bad at all. And you tackled a difficult subject matter - yes, everyone can write about love, but that's exactly the issue. Since everyone writes about it, what makes yours stand out? Nowdays, we can't just write a love poem sadly, not if we want anyone to pay any real attention to it. The key is to twist it into an image or perspective or idea that hasn't been done before. You want to give it uniqueness. There is definitely something I like about this poem, though, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with a short poem by the way.
Hope this helped, and keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Chezka,

Hello! Just want to say welcome to YWS. I hope you are liking your first week. As you probably have already seen, this community is filled with lots of talented young writers like yourself and we're all happy to help. So if you have any questions or concerns, anything at all - about the site, about your writing - feel free to contact me.

I think the poem asks some pretty tough questions that are nice to think about.

The repetition of the last line lends to a lyrical quality in the poem, but other than that - I would've classified this as "dramatic" since it's more about the speaker's perspective, their questions, their voice. Lyrical has a focus on sounds and emotions. And while I can see the undercurrent of emotions in this poem, by turning these emotions into questions you are shifting the focus away from emotion and towards logic/thought.

Does that make sense? Ask me if you have any questions.

As a first poem it is interesting and I can see your love of writing in this, stemming from the speaker's desire to know/to organize/ to understand. That is always so refreshing to see.

One thing I say to everybody: images. Create images. Questions are good for discussions - but images are what makes a poem. What does heart break and betrayal look like? How does it taste? How does it feel? What does love smell like? What does it remind you of? Get those creative juices flowing! I'd love to see more of your work.

~ as always, Audy