Young Writers Society

Life

It’s jumping and hoping to fly,
while secretly knowing you're going to fall.

It’s trying so hard,
knowing its never going to be enough.

It’s reaching out to people,
knowing they're going to let you down.

It’s smiling outside,
but being broken inside.

It’s looking confident,
but feeling unsure.

It’s dreaming big dreams,
that will never come true.

It’s wishing on stars,
when you’ve already lost hope.

It’s convincing yourself tomorrow will be better,
when every day it gets worse.

It’s constantly putting yourself up,
just to be let down.

It’s wishing for heaven,
while going through hell.

It’s trying to see the glass half full,
while it always looks empty.

It's trying so hard to be perfect,
but never getting anything right.

It’s waiting for the twist in your story,
when nothing ever changes.

But if we’re all just stories in the end,
mine's going to be bittersweet,
with a shitty ending.

Oh, my God, Katherine. I've missed you so much. I'm Solvalery... remember me? xD

Let's get to review.

There's a mistake in the second line, you should say: "while secretly knowing you're going to fall". Also you forgot a couple of apostrophes (or was it just one? xD), they're really important. I would really suggest you to create stanzas, it's simple, just click enter more. xD And also, there's only one uppercase in this poem? o.O And, you need to work on your punctuation, looks like the whole poem is just one sentence. But other than that, your poem is lovely. You managed to be creative and it flowed well. Just take my advice, it'll make your writing look more professional, and you'll see people will appreciate you as the great writer that you are.

Keep it up!

~Solly<3

Great job on this poem! I really liked it.

Just a couple of minor typos:

knowing their going to let you down

- supposed to be "they're".

mines going to be bittersweet

- yup...just one apostrophe you forgot.

Okay. So, I liked the rhythm most of the time although there were a couple spots it got messed up, especially near the end after the "glass half full" part. In fact, to be truthful, the poem kind of progressed into being worse as it went on. It was perfect in the beginning, and then by the end the words were still beautiful, but the way they were put together was getting to be not so pretty anymore.

Also after the glass half full line, you break the pattern that you've been setting up for the majority of the poem, a long time. It's alright to do that once, at the very end or the very beginning, but not twice. It messes up the rhythm somewhat and confuses the reader's brain, since we have now been lulled into a beat that we think we can trust, it doesn't fit to throw it off until the very end.

Otherwise, great poem! I'd love to read more.

This piece has a great message hidden behind it. Good job

But, you have problems with your punctuations and few grammatical errors which you have already figured out. Not to mention the

it’s smiling outside
but being broken inside
it’s looking confident
but feeling like crap

I think these lines should be edited with better vocab, because this was the point where your age reflected and normally any person would want to judge accordingly. Never let the reader judge you according to your age. Make sure to always provide pieces with higher intellectual thoughts than what actually should or is your standard. You will know your standard once you start expanding your use of words, don't worry

it’s wishing on stars
when you’ve already lost hope
it’s convincing yourself tomorrow will be better
when every day it gets worse

For instance, here I felt the use of words were simple but they worked like magic. So, you have the potential, you just gotta utilize it

This is a really good piece and I would like to read more of your work. Hope my review helps

Hey Sol! Of course I remember you

Thanks for all the reviews guys! I wrote it pretty quick and didn't have time to edit it before i posted it, so I hope it's better now

-Katherine