Young Writers Society

I saw them the way
They're supposed
To be seen.

Their big pale eyes
Flushed in
Poisongreen
And
Their memories shivered
Into nothing.
But still
The claws held its grip
And gived them
The emphy feeling
Of regret
And
Eternal pain.

They wore shadows inside
That fill their bodys
With darkness
And let them bleed
Of razorsharp-thoughts.

It gave them a new-
colder and weaker-
Skin
Of blood.


And still
They managed
To smile.

Whoa,
I absolutely loved it. It drew me in and definetely kept my attention. Which is kinda hard to do. haha. I don't have a very high attention span. I thought it was amazing. I have nothing to tell you but to keep it up. Cause you're extremely talented.

Sincerely,
Ciara<3

I loved the work because I was in the peom from the first word I just found something that didn't make much sense to me

And Gived them the emphy feeling of regret

I think that you should use a word besides gived for example

presented to them the empty feeling of regret

or

granted them the empty feeling of regret

and there might be a spelling mistake I think you meant to write empty feeling of regret. But
overall I loved the poem and hope to read a lot more that you've written, keep working at it.